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Original poster

To go home...FIL just made marmite toast without using any kind of butter 😱

82 replies

GiraffeCup · 30/03/2025 21:28

Like seriously, he spread marmite in DRY toast.

The man is clearly insane and we can't stay here any longer.

OP posts:
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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/04/2025 11:36

IhateHPSDeaneCnt · 01/04/2025 02:04

Everyone will now know I have perverted tastes (checks all doors, windows, are locked, hammers in cobbled together shutters). As children, we often had toast with peanut butter however, this was underpinned with slathering of butter followed by generous dollop of Jam - [whisper] Sometimes we'd stick a slice of processed cheese on top and grill until nice, bubbly and brown [Runs away and hides in newly dug bomb shelter]. I couldn't leave without sharing the ultimate gag story [the horror, the horror...]- my eye has started to twitch already. . . We had lovely neighbours and I was whinging about how long it was taking to fix the overhead grill and I really missed cheese on toast. He appeared shortly after with a lovely ovenproof dish showcasing yummy cheese on toast - still bubbling! I bit into a piece only to gag at the copious amount of margarine that hit my palate - which he'd spread generously under the good Cheddar cheese before toasting. I wouldn't want him to go to Jail but perhaps a stiff fine and made to attend home economics class from ye olde days? My eye is still twitching at the memory and reflux emerging. Bleurghh. Hold my hand people.

My mum used to make my cheese sandwiches, for my school lunch, with Stork Superblend margarine, @IhateHPSDeaneCnt. It was vile - even worse than Flora. And what made it even more unpalatable was knowing mum was at home making her sandwich with a thick layer of Lurpak, but dsis and I didn't deserve something decent.

Original poster
GiraffeCup · 01/04/2025 11:09

RunAwayNow · 01/04/2025 08:53

Butter under Marmite ruins the taste. I will die on this hill.

you won't reach the hill ... saying things like that in public?? You're gonna be kidnapped by some chaps in a unmarked white van and taken to a Marmite on toast re-education camp

OP posts:
RunAwayNow · 01/04/2025 08:53

Butter under Marmite ruins the taste. I will die on this hill.

StartAnew · 01/04/2025 08:29

Pretend you are going to fetch something from the car and do a runner. Nobody who eats dry toast with marmite can be a safe person to stay with.

AlteredStater · 01/04/2025 08:27

I started refusing butter on bread or toast as a young child and won't eat anything with butter on it now. So yes, marmite would go straight on toast.

Original poster
GiraffeCup · 01/04/2025 08:20

IhateHPSDeaneCnt · 01/04/2025 02:04

Everyone will now know I have perverted tastes (checks all doors, windows, are locked, hammers in cobbled together shutters). As children, we often had toast with peanut butter however, this was underpinned with slathering of butter followed by generous dollop of Jam - [whisper] Sometimes we'd stick a slice of processed cheese on top and grill until nice, bubbly and brown [Runs away and hides in newly dug bomb shelter]. I couldn't leave without sharing the ultimate gag story [the horror, the horror...]- my eye has started to twitch already. . . We had lovely neighbours and I was whinging about how long it was taking to fix the overhead grill and I really missed cheese on toast. He appeared shortly after with a lovely ovenproof dish showcasing yummy cheese on toast - still bubbling! I bit into a piece only to gag at the copious amount of margarine that hit my palate - which he'd spread generously under the good Cheddar cheese before toasting. I wouldn't want him to go to Jail but perhaps a stiff fine and made to attend home economics class from ye olde days? My eye is still twitching at the memory and reflux emerging. Bleurghh. Hold my hand people.

Id have got that cheese on toast incident logged with the police... Would have probably been the final puzzle piece they needed to solve the strange incidents of gross food related incidents leading to bizarre behaviour that had plagued the area

OP posts:
Lurkingandlearning · 01/04/2025 06:01

Is this new behaviour? Could it be dementia?

IhateHPSDeaneCnt · 01/04/2025 02:04

Everyone will now know I have perverted tastes (checks all doors, windows, are locked, hammers in cobbled together shutters). As children, we often had toast with peanut butter however, this was underpinned with slathering of butter followed by generous dollop of Jam - [whisper] Sometimes we'd stick a slice of processed cheese on top and grill until nice, bubbly and brown [Runs away and hides in newly dug bomb shelter]. I couldn't leave without sharing the ultimate gag story [the horror, the horror...]- my eye has started to twitch already. . . We had lovely neighbours and I was whinging about how long it was taking to fix the overhead grill and I really missed cheese on toast. He appeared shortly after with a lovely ovenproof dish showcasing yummy cheese on toast - still bubbling! I bit into a piece only to gag at the copious amount of margarine that hit my palate - which he'd spread generously under the good Cheddar cheese before toasting. I wouldn't want him to go to Jail but perhaps a stiff fine and made to attend home economics class from ye olde days? My eye is still twitching at the memory and reflux emerging. Bleurghh. Hold my hand people.

Soonenough · 31/03/2025 23:35

Peanut butter slightly melted on warm toast then a swirl of Nutella.

Just forget Marmite altogether. I can't even bear the smell .

SauvignonBlonk · 31/03/2025 20:30

I have never even considered putting marmite on dry toast! What’s that all about!?
Perfect marmite on toast requires a big chunk of butter loving placed on hot toast then a dollop of marmite on the top of the butter; when the butter has melted slightly you can mix the marmite into it and create a perfect marmitey buttery layer. Marmite/butter perfection! Heaven!

Original poster
GiraffeCup · 31/03/2025 20:24

Rictasmorticia · 31/03/2025 20:18

Putting butter on toast or bread before any filling is totally disgusting. The thought of slimy butter sitting under jam makes me heave.
Also sandwiches with butter or mayo are also a NO. Just use dry bread and whatever is going in it.

Ugh bi. The. It's dry bread with some ham or tuna or whatever in it...blergh

OP posts:
Rictasmorticia · 31/03/2025 20:18

Putting butter on toast or bread before any filling is totally disgusting. The thought of slimy butter sitting under jam makes me heave.
Also sandwiches with butter or mayo are also a NO. Just use dry bread and whatever is going in it.

MyKingdomForACat · 31/03/2025 19:33

I love Marmite but spread thinly. You def need the undercoat of butter to stop it being too bitter

Ddakji · 31/03/2025 19:28

YANBU about the lack of butter.

You are being v unreasonable to refer to it as marmite toast.

CasperGutman · 31/03/2025 19:27

I agree I wouldn't have butter and peanut butter. I also wouldn't use butter with Nutella (or generic equivalent).

It's essential with Marmite though.

ScupperedbytheSea · 31/03/2025 18:47

Peanut butter goes on dry. I find butter AND peanut butter vaguely obscene.

And if I make a peanut butter and jam toast sandwich, the jam goes on dry because - as above - peanut butter and butter MUST NOT combine.

I have however had a bacon and banana toasted sandwich on the recommendation of a South African friend, and thought it was delicious, so I might not be the best person to decide the rules.

Springee · 31/03/2025 17:33

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/03/2025 12:36

@Springee - I recently watched an episode of one of Nigella's programmes, where she advocated a double buttering method - first layer when the toast is hot, so it sinks in, and a second one when it is cooler, so that it doesn't melt and you get to bite through it. That might be a bit too much butter....

Ooo no I couldn't hack that 🤣

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/03/2025 13:22

Marmite on dry toast is horrible, you are right.
My Mum used to give this to us when ill, and it’s just a “no”.

I’m not someone who goes in for over buttering, but marmite can only go on hot-buttered toast.

CasperGutman · 31/03/2025 13:17

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 31/03/2025 13:14

I’d still put butter on!

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That's a valid choice and I respect it. 😊
I've never come across cheese on toast that included butter, but I'd be interested to try it!

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 31/03/2025 13:14

CasperGutman · 31/03/2025 13:13

The only reason I'd ever put Marmite on dry toast would be as an interim stage in the process of making extra-Marmitey cheese on toast.

I’d still put butter on!

CasperGutman · 31/03/2025 13:13

The only reason I'd ever put Marmite on dry toast would be as an interim stage in the process of making extra-Marmitey cheese on toast.

HeChokedOnAChorizo · 31/03/2025 13:10

I never use butter on toast if i put Jam or anything else on it. Reason being i dont like butter or marg, i dont like the taste of it so never put it on.

If i have a sandwich i use mayo instead of butter.

The only way i can have butter is if it is melted as on a jacket potato.

QuickPeachPoet · 31/03/2025 12:48

GiraffeCup · 31/03/2025 12:42

And you still call him uncle??

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disowning has been mentioned. haha

BeaAndBen · 31/03/2025 12:43

GiraffeCup · 31/03/2025 12:41

Too much butter? Is there such a thing??

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No, that is not a thing. There are things that are OK without butter, but if butter is required, it should be applied GENEROUSLY. And be salted.

Original poster
GiraffeCup · 31/03/2025 12:42

QuickPeachPoet · 31/03/2025 00:10

Almost as bad as not liking marmite at all.
Or being like my uncle and not allowing it on the table

And you still call him uncle??

OP posts: