talk to me if you stupidly bought something £££ you couldnt really afford

Thrilled to read about capybara and sloth feeding! I’ve always wanted to feed giraffes but never have. I love them, with their huge liquid eyes and strange gait. Maybe I should book something.

What a lovely thread this has been!

How about helping out someone else who maybe doesn't have food, let alone posh cutlery? Or anyone else in need? Or donating to a charity?

It is not me who is upset, and I haven't set out to portray myself as being a good Samaritan. I absolutely am judging you. If you judge that, fair enough.

Nonetheless, I am sorry you are struggling at the moment. I had flu about five weeks ago and I am only now getting back to normal. So good luck with that.

Do you think you might be be a bit excessively unkind now? Possibly judgemental yourself?

I have apologised. I’m not having the easiest time, I have taken the points.

I didn’t intend to upset anybody

No, you're judgemental - and in all of these mea culpas you haven't let go of your virtue, have you?

Delete your account if you want. Or maybe spend more time somewhere where people challenge your perception of yourself. Even if you find you don't agree there's always value in reconsidering your existing view of yourself.

FFS can we not.suck the.joy from this thread? @edwinbear has been very restrained in the face of all this sanctimony.
You can start another thread for your charity donations.

My eldest has loads of Jellycat toys. Says the most maddening thing is that she was collecting them long before they became a 'thing'! I also bought them some Jellycats when they were little so pieces 20+ now.

God I have a tonne of stuff round my house that must have cost a fortune. I started collecting Denby dinnerware and I have every single thing that was issued in my range in the last 35 years. Recently replaced a few plates and added more, using Tesco Clubcard which I learned about on MN.

I have two Wedgwood dinner services, one with all the bells and whistles, serving dishes, bread plates, teacup and saucers, coffee jug, teapot yada yada yada. Last used for my son's christening and he's 21... got a lot of it as wedding gifts. I've got at least 5 different sets of cutlery - none near £20k, but bravo @edwinbear!

I've every Harrod's Christmas Bear since 1987. I can't get my hands on 1986 and any time I've seen it, it's been mega-expensive. I also collect a certain brand of mugs and must have about 200+. I've also 200+ pair of shoes/boots/sandals and my bedroom is chaotic with clothes I have no room for. I could open a jewellers. I think I'm a little addicted to 'stuff'.

Probably my maddest purchase was as a student in 1982, living on a student grant and my Saturday job. I fell in love with a £100 pair of Renata Italian leather boots, and on impulse, I bought them. I loved those boots so much!! I don't know if they are still in my attic and what condition they would be in more than 40 years later!

Oh and I also have a lot of the Chalet School books from the 70s lurking in my roofspace. Plus Barbies, Sindys and all their rellies in a box!!

Thinking about my spending actually my other huge frivolity is a very small elderly dog who had significant health problems that I adopted at the age of 15… he’s one of the loves of my life and I take excellent care of him; everyone thought he would come home to die basically he was in such a poor state.. We are now several years on from his adoption and he is very much still going, stable and enjoying himself a little bit in life - I have spent thousands on his vets bills this last two years- we can afford it so it’s not a daft expense and of course makes a huge difference to him. My DH hasn’t ever asked me how much he actually costs us because he knows it’s a ridiculous amount 😂 Everyone constantly tells me I’m insane for adopting him and continuing any expensive treatment required at his age but honestly this tiny ancient dog is the most resilient thing I’ve ever seen, and he still has a good quality of life thanks to my investments in him both money at the vets & daily care. And he has taught me so much about unconditional love! For me it’s very worth it. I won’t keep him going when I know it’s his time and he can’t go on. Keep the shoes. Love this thread x

I guess I must be.

I just wrote what i genuinely thought in a moment, a daft moment where I should’ve kept my fingers shut.

Sure I’ve paid for my single remark on the internet now.

I'm not a bad person, but I take the points.

Just think, you could have prevented someone from possibly feeling bad without spending a single penny, just by keeping your judgement to yourself.

Surely it’s better to spend your spare money however you like, and make people feel good by just being nice and letting people live how they want?

Distributing alms is not the only way to be a better person.

Yes, you’re right,

I did say everyone is different and this just wouldn’t be my choice.

Obviously I have been feeling glum having had flu for a week, which is the only reason I ended up looking at Mumsnet. Sorry to have put bad vibes out there.

No but I think you are virtue signalling

Just think, you could have prevented someone from possibly feeling bad without spending a single penny, just by keeping your judgement to yourself.

Surely it’s better to spend your spare money however you like, and make people feel good by just being nice and letting people live how they want?

Distributing alms is not the only way to be a better person.

No, we all think you're talking nonsense. Unless you actually have had £20k completely spare, and have in fact donated it, then you have no idea what you would do.

Given you have assumed that you would "already have" the things a PP mentioned, you presumably don't have them. So in fact, what you are saying is "If I were super-rich such that £20k made no difference to me, I would donate it", not that if you - real-world you - got £20k you would donate it. So it's utterly pointless and doesn't reflect well on you, which is quite clearly what you were aiming for, or alternatively, to make the cutlery-purchaser feel bad. Either way, not a good look.

That sounds like an entirely reasonable thing to do! I went a bit bonkers after my mum died but I only bought a new cheap and cheerful bookcase. Mind you it's now full and I don't want to calculate what the books cost overall...

How would you feel about unpacking the quilt and using it? I think beautiful things are meant to be used and you can always wash or repair it if it gets worn. Would also love to see a picture of it, as an aspiring quilter.

If I had it to burn on cutlery, I meant I think I’d already have those things. I just wouldn’t spend money like that on something like that ever, but i acknowledged everyone is different. I wish I didn’t say anything. It just seemed a really, really frivolous choice to me. In my mind you have everything if you’re willing to spend that on eating tools.

I do and would donate money, I’m not trying to win a badge. Everyone is entitled to enjoy things. But point taken, you all think I’m an arsehole for saying I’d rather help another person’s situation than spend tens of thousands on cutlery.

If I had it to burn on cutlery, I meant I think I’d already have those things. I just wouldn’t spend money like that on something like that ever, but i acknowledged everyone is different. I wish I didn’t say anything. It just seemed a really, really frivolous choice to me. In my mind you have everything if you’re willing to spend that on eating tools.

I do and would donate money, I’m not trying to win a badge. Everyone is entitled to enjoy things. But point taken, you all think I’m an arsehole for saying I’d rather help another person’s situation than spend tens of thousands on cutlery.