Page 4 | talk to me if you stupidly bought something £££ you couldnt really afford

WhyDidIDiddle · 2025-03-30T18:44:17+00:00

In my defence, I have had a horrible time featuring death which has left me on a swing between dark depression and f*ck it do it now you might be dead tomorrow. I bought a pair of shoes that I really liked but were a ridiculous amount to spend on shoes of any kind. I feel a bit sick when I think of it. I will keep them as its not bankrupting but it is stupid out of the savings money. I do like them but it was really really really stupid. No one should spend that much on a pair of shoes. Hoping I am not alone and someone can make me feel a bit better with similar tale that didn't end horribly.

Mrsredlipstick · 04/04/2025 07:56

@FagsMagsandBags ive been ill for the best part of a year. Major surgery a few weeks ago.
I got my new nightwear from lands end and David Nipier (they French seam so no rough bits).
I know what you mean about the eating. I've been on rice pudding. Marks do mini portion ready meals now but I've been eating the count on us for the veg.
Have a good day today.

FagsMagsandBags · 03/04/2025 22:27

Oh I forgot! I bought myself a bouquet from Bloom&Wild. I have some bouquets sent by others but my irises gave up he ghost today and I thought rather than wait for some more I'd buy myself something with Irises within the bouquet. So I did!

FagsMagsandBags · 03/04/2025 21:33

Nothing exciting today although I have got a decent over the bed table/tray type thing so I can do more stuff in bed. I also have two velvet throws lined up, one quite cheap, one a little more expensive, another couple of velvet cushion covers and then it's on to pretty nightgown and dressing gown. I had a bit of a shit day today. I'm not sure what happened overnight but I was feeling bloody awful and couldn't manage my pain which made no sense as we'd upped the pain meds. Anyway! Lots of sleeping today, then a friend popped around for half an hour to cuddle me which was just the ticket. I've managed to eat again, which helps immediately. You need to eat but you feel ill so you don't want to eat and you don't eat so you feel ill. I've had enough to do for the day and tomorrow I'm going to a friend's to do some crafting and she makes good scrambled eggs so I'm looking forward to good food and being better at the doing picture stuff than I think I am!

Lentilweaver · 03/04/2025 18:03

@kiwiblue We bought them in Turkey. Did you want the name of the shop? not sure if I can remember that.

I regret not buying some stuff in my younger days from China and Hong Kong.

Original poster

WhyDidIDiddle · 03/04/2025 13:10

@kiwiblue

e wanted to buy one when we were young and backpacking round Turkey but had nowhere to put it. Would love one now!

There's a reason for a holiday to Turkey if ever I saw one. Or Morocco. They go a bundle on carpets and rugs there too. Buy it abroad and then it will remind you of your trip forever.

OP posts:

kiwiblue · 03/04/2025 12:44

@Lentilweaver can you advise on where to get a Turkish rug from? We wanted to buy one when we were young and backpacking round Turkey but had nowhere to put it. Would love one now!

Love this thread!

iseethembloom · 03/04/2025 12:39

@tinytornado do you know, I hadn’t even thought of that! Yes, I can only hope that my state of mind will transform (from barely hanging on), along with the glass and pebbles that I’m putting in.

Thank you so much for your comment. It’s a beautiful idea and something I just hasn’t seen.

I feel better about the rock tumbler, seven nights away, and second-hand Vinted fleeces I’ve been buying, having now heard about horses, manor houses, jewellery… and of course, that cutlery 😀

TinyTornado · 03/04/2025 07:25

iseethembloom · 30/03/2025 21:57

I’m recovering from a bereavement that came without warning.

Last week I spent (clears throat) £120 on a rock tumbler and another £30 on grit to go in it.

Finding stuff on beaches (that’s the part that’s free) is a kind of hobby of mine.

But even so. It was self indulgent and unnecessary, and I’ve been feeling guilty about it. It’s whirring away in the bathroom as I type, consuming electricity.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s hard losing anyone and when it is unexpected there is a such a shock too.

But this sounds like a bargain and I have wanted one of these since childhood when we had a book about turning rocks to gems as it seemed so fascinating seeing the transformation of ordinary boring pebbles into something really beautiful.

Perhaps you could see your purchase as investment in your mental health rather than feeling guilt.
To me it would certainly symbolise transformation and if you are at all spiritual that could be something to reflect on.

Freshstartyear25 · 03/04/2025 04:52

I was learning how to play the piano using a keyboard and was consistent for 2 years always told DH I’d love to buy a proper piano. For our 10th wedding anniversary, he bought me a Roland piano. Cost around £1200. It’s very pretty with the stand. It’s not overly expensive but I don’t feel I enjoy playing it any differently to the old keyboard. Also, I’ve not been playing consistently anymore 😂. DH jokes that it’s more of a decoration now but I hope one of our children will love to play one day so it won’t be a complete waste of money.

MyMachine · 03/04/2025 04:32

Grief spending is absolutely a thing. Do not be sad about that. I guided my sister through a ton of grief spending.

I will never regret spending 20k on my 50th birthday weekend. So much fun.

JaceLancs · 03/04/2025 00:06

Forgot to say none of them are purchases that I regret though as they remind me of the time and the emotions I felt at the time - distance heals and the items now bring me joy not pain

JaceLancs · 03/04/2025 00:04

Grief spending is a thing with me too
There is the sapphire ring following a major car crash
The diamond daisy ring when DF was dying
The diamond tiara ring the day after the Queen died
Ruby and diamond ring when Dcat Reuben died suddenly
I have no excuses but I do like buying jewellery!

Mrsredlipstick · 02/04/2025 20:33

MixedBananas · 02/04/2025 20:18

After my divorce and settlement I was in a dark place. I had the money but I purchased a XL Chanel bag i always wantes 1 and the Lady dior. But ooted for the Chanel. I didn't feel guilty it was £6k and I was chuffed.
But aoon reapised that taking it out on soecial occasions was a risk and when people asked if it was real I pied and said it was a good fake. I was worried.it w9upd be nicked. I stopped taking it out all together and it it stored in its box in a vaccumed sealed bag in my attic.
It was a silly amount of money that wouls have got me a nicer car.
I am doing to sell it and I hope it makes a decent profit.

The London auction rooms do annual bag sales. For god sake don't take it to Pr*stige Pawn. They offer a fraction of the value. They offered me £160 for a Mulberry that I paid £1400 for three months before.

MixedBananas · 02/04/2025 20:18

After my divorce and settlement I was in a dark place. I had the money but I purchased a XL Chanel bag i always wantes 1 and the Lady dior. But ooted for the Chanel. I didn't feel guilty it was £6k and I was chuffed.
But aoon reapised that taking it out on soecial occasions was a risk and when people asked if it was real I pied and said it was a good fake. I was worried.it w9upd be nicked. I stopped taking it out all together and it it stored in its box in a vaccumed sealed bag in my attic.
It was a silly amount of money that wouls have got me a nicer car.
I am doing to sell it and I hope it makes a decent profit.

tothelefttotheleft · 02/04/2025 20:13

@Blackbirdsinthgarden

The bangles are lovely.

BobbySox71 · 02/04/2025 19:08

Ponyfootymama · 02/04/2025 17:46

Buy the horse! Even more so now you’ve got health to enjoy it…motto when horse shopping is that it costs as much to keep a bad one as a good one, so go for it, money doesn’t make memories, it facilitates them😉

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So true, my horse wasn’t expensive but I’m sure he costs as much to keep 😂

Mrsredlipstick · 02/04/2025 17:50

I raise the previous pp her 15 room manor to a 26 room old rectory. Haunted as hell.
I bought it after my baby son died the year before. I ve never thought about grief purchasing as i am just a very daft spend thrift. My contents insurance is at the same level as my buildings cover. I'm now on a no buy. Four thngs only this year, two for hospital.
I don't thibk my silver is worth £20k, too battered and the spoons go in the bin with the yoghurt pots. There's a whole hiding place for spoons!

Ponyfootymama · 02/04/2025 17:46

3smallpups · 02/04/2025 17:39

A few months ago I had a sudden acute bout of illness and was very unwell , it was an autoimmune thing that can constantly relapse and lead to kidney failure , I thought that’s it , feck it , I’ll buy that £35k horse I have had my eye one , life’s too short . Luckily for my bank balance I found out the next day that the autoimmune thing had been caused by an anti malaria drug I had been taking and hopefully will never recur ! Good job I found that out first 🤣

Buy the horse! Even more so now you’ve got health to enjoy it…motto when horse shopping is that it costs as much to keep a bad one as a good one, so go for it, money doesn’t make memories, it facilitates them😉

kweenkweenie · 02/04/2025 17:45

Recently spent 4k for 4 nights at a hotel in London, after a parent was suddenly critically ill. Breakfast was not even included. We just had to get away. Silly money but the mutual feeling was just ’fuck it’. Never felt like that before.

3smallpups · 02/04/2025 17:39

A few months ago I had a sudden acute bout of illness and was very unwell , it was an autoimmune thing that can constantly relapse and lead to kidney failure , I thought that’s it , feck it , I’ll buy that £35k horse I have had my eye one , life’s too short . Luckily for my bank balance I found out the next day that the autoimmune thing had been caused by an anti malaria drug I had been taking and hopefully will never recur ! Good job I found that out first 🤣

Original poster

WhyDidIDiddle · 02/04/2025 17:21

I'm actually quite blown away and reassured and comforted by the amount of posts from people who are in the same position as me following a bereavement. This thread has been a joy for me, not just because of some of the lovely and funny stories and the fact some of the scale of spending puts mine into a whole new (better!) perspective but because it has made me feel normal in grief.

@AnnoyedAsAllHeck AnnoyedAsAllHeck · Yesterday 04:40
It's nice to know that it isn't just me who grief shops/spends. It has made me feel less idiotic with my grief spending. I truly wish I had known it was a "thing" forty years ago.
I "grief bought" after my Grandmother passed, my Dad, my Mom, my sister and have also spent a lot when I was really sick (all three times), my DH got diagnosed with cancer and pretty much any tough time when I have felt overwhelmed.

I couldn't agree more and condolences to you and to

@dogsandcatsandhorses
I see your 20k cutlery and raise you a 15 room manor house. Yep, 10 months after DH died. What the hell does grief do to our brains

@bubblegumunicorn

Definitely not alone after we lost my FIL last year we booked two week all inclusive in Mexico so we could cry some where beautiful, drained our savings to do it but the spending impulses that accompany grief are so real! I think it's something to do with the endorphins.

@Crazyladee
Little bit embarrassed but I'm not really bothered. I let him tease me 😆 It started off as grief purchasing during lockdown after losing my son quickly and suddenly

and to anyone else I have missed. Sorry for your heartbreaking losses and thank you for sharing your grief purchasing stories.

They have meant a lot to me and made me feel comforted in solidarity

OP posts:

Redpeach · 02/04/2025 17:12

Arraminta · 02/04/2025 10:10

Pretty sure that using the phrase 'collective self reflection' will suck every ounce of joy out of a thread.

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Pretty sure telling other posters off for having a different view point does not spread joy either

Original poster

WhyDidIDiddle · 02/04/2025 17:04

There are so many lovely stories on this thread

@Violetmarmalade

If you live anywhere near the south of England I thoroughly recommend a visit to the incredible miniature world of dolls houses, shops and country scenes at Leonardslee House near Horsham, West Sussex, complete with moving parts like lifts in the department store. I can spend hours in there marvelling at the amazing detail https://www.leonardsleegardens.co.uk/dolls-house-museum

Thank you for this - I'm not near here but it looks really interesting and if I am passing there I will go. I'd never have heard of it if you'd not mentioned it.

@FagsMagsandBags

I'm here to bring a sloth update. .. Friend arranged a capybara feeding for me for 10th April but there were no dates free for sloths before September which doesn't surprise me. I get a message from her today - she's currently in Spain for a short break and still thinking of me - she's somehow managed to get me the sloth experience on my actual birthday, so 7th - and I will probably be weeping while feeding the most precious animals I can think of. I cannot put into words how happy this is making me. I'm in danger of getting over giddy so having to find ways to calm myself down before I lose myself in the excitement!

This is so lovely. I hope you have a lovely birthday and enjoy your sloths.

@eqpi4t2hbsnktd eqpi4t2hbsnktd · Yesterday 13:37

chandelier... £10k. too big to get in the house.

I desperately want to hear more about the chandelier. Where did you buy it from? Did no one give you advice about getting it in? Do you live in a palace that a £10k chandelier would fit?

& what happened ... did they turn up with it and try to get it in and then have to take it away?

Dolls' House Museum | Leonardslee Gardens

The Dolls’ House Museum, created by Helen Holland depicts a magical world in miniature - brilliant craftsmanship and exquisite detail incarnate.

https://www.leonardsleegardens.co.uk/dolls-house-museum

OP posts:

CottonCandyLand · 02/04/2025 16:35

Lentilweaver · 01/04/2025 09:46

I just realised my big splurge item, or rather DHs. He collects Persian and Turkish rugs. Dont know why they didnt occur to me earlier..

Don't want to say how much we have spent but quite a lot.And we lost one in an intercountry move which I still think about with deep guilt. They are worth it though.

Really beautiful and make a room. Last for years ( if you dont lose them).

I wanted a Persian rug so we went to buy one. The problem was we couldn’t decide between two so we bought them both.
They are beautiful and like you say, make a room. Unfortunately one of the dogs made a beeline for one of them when he had diarrhoea 😡. Luckily it was just the edge and we managed to clean it pretty well. I tried to get it professionally cleaned to remove any traces of crap smell out but they said the colours would run and wouldn’t touch it. I’m too scared it will still have some remnants of the smell and the dogs would associate it as a place to crap so my beautiful, expensive pure silk rug is folded up and stored until the dogs are all gone 😞

FagsMagsandBags · 02/04/2025 15:22

I found a few bits of clothing that I haven't sent to eBay/Vinted/charity shop and I'm so glad because one is a skirt I got in Primark about a million years ago (about 25 years ago!) and I've always just loved even though it's nothing special. It's a bit too big but still hangs okay on me so I'm going to wear it out for a trip to the pharmacy now. I am getting rid of so much stuff at the moment but smiling to myself as I think "but now I must have a very lovely pretend Victorian night dress and that lovely velvet throw!" even as I declutter a tiny bit of pretty clutter has to come back into play.

I also discovered a small triangular almost bandau type thing I knitted ages ago and the shape is a big thing at the moment. I'm wearing it over a white three-quarter-length sleeve t-shirt and I look quite the fancy lady!