Page 10 | talk to me if you stupidly bought something £££ you couldnt really afford

WhyDidIDiddle · 2025-03-30T18:44:17+00:00

In my defence, I have had a horrible time featuring death which has left me on a swing between dark depression and f*ck it do it now you might be dead tomorrow. I bought a pair of shoes that I really liked but were a ridiculous amount to spend on shoes of any kind. I feel a bit sick when I think of it. I will keep them as its not bankrupting but it is stupid out of the savings money. I do like them but it was really really really stupid. No one should spend that much on a pair of shoes. Hoping I am not alone and someone can make me feel a bit better with similar tale that didn't end horribly.

Pigeon31 · 01/04/2025 07:53

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/04/2025 04:40

It's nice to know that it isn't just me who grief shops/spends. It has made me feel less idiotic with my grief spending. I truly wish I had known it was a "thing" forty years ago.

I "grief bought" after my Grandmother passed, my Dad, my Mom, my sister and have also spent a lot when I was really sick (all three times), my DH got diagnosed with cancer and pretty much any tough time when I have felt overwhelmed.

So now I am way overloaded with beanies, Harmony Kingdom, Hallmark ornaments, dolls of every style and shape, doll clothing/furniture/accessories, clothes and accessories for myself, and lastly, perfume. WAY too much perfume (1.3K plus). sigh Trying to get any of it under control feels like an exercise in futility.

Ah you just reminded me about my beanies collection, they're mostly stacked on top of a wardrobe now apart from the 2 I liked best: the platypus with its derpy face and the chinese dragon :)

MulberryPeony · 01/04/2025 07:51

FagsMagsandBags · 01/04/2025 07:37

I think it's the context, @LillyPJ We know that there are a lot of people with cutlery that cost at least £20k, hundreds of thousands, millions, stuff like that but it's been in their families for generations or they are super rich and we expect that of them. On a nice simple thread here we expect that while some of us are better off and some of us are worse off, none of us are having the ambassador over for dinner and passing the port whichever way we're supposed to pass it. So, you hear £20k and your mind is blown, but your neighbour's car might be worth more than that just outside your window and we know that the bears worked to get that set bit by bit by bit because they fell in love with it, so they worked hard and they got it and continue to love it.

To some people it's all about the money and the consumerism and to some it's all about filling a small part of their big lives with something they love. My guess is that this thread as a whole, including the bears' cutlery story has brought more pleasure to more people than 20k could measure. Probably. It's less the things that people have bought and yet they're been fun, funny, lovely, silly, all of the above and more glimpses into people's ordinary but also special lives. Threads like this are at the beating heart of a place like this and I'm loving it.

I agree wholeheartedly. It has been joyous to read about cutlery and sloths and everything in between.

I’m not a natural big spender but my DH is so he is my biggest expense that I do sometimes regret. I don’t regret the things he has made me buy like the Denby, Tempur mattress, expensive sofas etc. I love and use them daily.

twistyizzy · 01/04/2025 07:50

Katem90 · 01/04/2025 07:47

If I had it to burn on cutlery, I meant I think I’d already have those things. I just wouldn’t spend money like that on something like that ever, but i acknowledged everyone is different. I wish I didn’t say anything. It just seemed a really, really frivolous choice to me. In my mind you have everything if you’re willing to spend that on eating tools.

I do and would donate money, I’m not trying to win a badge. Everyone is entitled to enjoy things. But point taken, you all think I’m an arsehole for saying I’d rather help another person’s situation than spend tens of thousands on cutlery.

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No but I think you are virtue signalling

Katem90 · 01/04/2025 07:47

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/04/2025 04:23

Or you'd spend it on what you do want. A house, home refurbishing, clothing, a holiday, education. What is your waste is someone else's treasure, and what is your treasure is someone else's waste.

But, go with your story that you'd donate it because then, everyone clapped.

Show quote history

If I had it to burn on cutlery, I meant I think I’d already have those things. I just wouldn’t spend money like that on something like that ever, but i acknowledged everyone is different. I wish I didn’t say anything. It just seemed a really, really frivolous choice to me. In my mind you have everything if you’re willing to spend that on eating tools.

I do and would donate money, I’m not trying to win a badge. Everyone is entitled to enjoy things. But point taken, you all think I’m an arsehole for saying I’d rather help another person’s situation than spend tens of thousands on cutlery.

HornungTheHelpful · 01/04/2025 07:41

Other than the sanctimonious posts (who knew cutlery could be so divisive - even if it was expensive), I love this thread. I have been given a lot of moral bullshit about overspending, and of course you can't overspend (and I am doing much better). But I feel less bad about having a compunction to do this when things are tough. It's really helpful to (a) know I am not alone; and (b) that maybe I am not a bad person just someone who has a non-ideal way of dealing with their distress. So thank you for this.

FagsMagsandBags · 01/04/2025 07:37

I think it's the context, @LillyPJ We know that there are a lot of people with cutlery that cost at least £20k, hundreds of thousands, millions, stuff like that but it's been in their families for generations or they are super rich and we expect that of them. On a nice simple thread here we expect that while some of us are better off and some of us are worse off, none of us are having the ambassador over for dinner and passing the port whichever way we're supposed to pass it. So, you hear £20k and your mind is blown, but your neighbour's car might be worth more than that just outside your window and we know that the bears worked to get that set bit by bit by bit because they fell in love with it, so they worked hard and they got it and continue to love it.

To some people it's all about the money and the consumerism and to some it's all about filling a small part of their big lives with something they love. My guess is that this thread as a whole, including the bears' cutlery story has brought more pleasure to more people than 20k could measure. Probably. It's less the things that people have bought and yet they're been fun, funny, lovely, silly, all of the above and more glimpses into people's ordinary but also special lives. Threads like this are at the beating heart of a place like this and I'm loving it.

LillyPJ · 01/04/2025 06:50

I'd still think it was daft even if it was a man's watch! Reading this thread makes me think we live in a very odd world. It's so strange that someone can spend more on a set of cutlery than some people's income for a whole year. But yes - that's just how it is.

Chrestomanciscat · 01/04/2025 06:18

@FagsMagsandBags I'd love to see photos of you and the sloths ❤️ sounds like it will be AMAZING. I hope you love it x

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/04/2025 04:40

It's nice to know that it isn't just me who grief shops/spends. It has made me feel less idiotic with my grief spending. I truly wish I had known it was a "thing" forty years ago.

I "grief bought" after my Grandmother passed, my Dad, my Mom, my sister and have also spent a lot when I was really sick (all three times), my DH got diagnosed with cancer and pretty much any tough time when I have felt overwhelmed.

So now I am way overloaded with beanies, Harmony Kingdom, Hallmark ornaments, dolls of every style and shape, doll clothing/furniture/accessories, clothes and accessories for myself, and lastly, perfume. WAY too much perfume (1.3K plus). sigh Trying to get any of it under control feels like an exercise in futility.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/04/2025 04:37

FishPie2 · 31/03/2025 20:38

This thread has made me feel so much better. I am recently bereaved and have bought in the last few weeks (no idea why) a Nintendo Switch which I thought I would pass the time but have no idea how to use it but the man in the shop said it was easy, maybe for a 6 year old. A walking machine, used it twice in 4 weeks.
Expensive watch which I do like and 2 pairs of shoes costing far more than I usually spend plus a river cruise and a couple of long weekends away.
Nothing to do with my late husband not spending money just me wanting to spend it. It's weird.
I have had and given away Le Creuset pan sets (2) and Denby pottery which I used to collect but have no interest in now and would have bought the cutlery if I liked it.

I am so sorry for your loss. {{HUGS}} You'll figure out the Switch, or find a 6-year-old to teach you. Getting a bit of pleasure after your loss is hopefully helping you get your bearings. It's certainly not weird.

LunaNorth · 01/04/2025 04:28

Here for the 🦥

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/04/2025 04:24

Mrsredlipstick · 31/03/2025 20:25

I do have blue and white ceramics I don't use but I like looking at. £200 plates! Ditto shoes as I now wear sketchers.
My painting I mentioned up thread is a copy of a Titian. The face of the lady glows like an angel.

I bet it is beautiful! You should put it up and enjoy it.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/04/2025 04:23

Katem90 · 31/03/2025 20:05

If I had 20k to burn on cutlery, I wouldn’t, I’d donate it somewhere where it was needed, instead of wasting it: that’s all I meant.

thats me

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Or you'd spend it on what you do want. A house, home refurbishing, clothing, a holiday, education. What is your waste is someone else's treasure, and what is your treasure is someone else's waste.

But, go with your story that you'd donate it because then, everyone clapped.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/04/2025 04:17

Growlybear83 · 31/03/2025 19:20

Reading this thread I’m perplexed by what people are doing with their teaspoons. 😳. I’ve got to the age of 67 and I’ve never lost a teaspoon in my life.

I am a few years older and I am pretty sure I've lost one to mark every year of my married life (45+ yrs). Still losing them way too often.

Maybe someone sneaks in and steals them for recycling.....😆😉

Lentilweaver · 01/04/2025 04:12

FagsMagsandBags · 01/04/2025 03:03

I'm here to bring a sloth update. Handily, @Violetmarmalade quoted one of my posts from yesterday so it's pretty close to this one making it slightly less "who are you, what are you talking about with sloths, woman?!" than it otherwise would have been.

So, big birthday next Monday (60th) and difficult times. I'd seen that you can get to feed capybara not too far from me and then discovered the sloth feeding too which, seriously, I love them so much they make me want to cry with their beautiful slow faces. Friend arranged a capybara feeding for me for 10th April but there were no dates free for sloths before September which doesn't surprise me. I get a message from her today - she's currently in Spain for a short break and still thinking of me - she's somehow managed to get me the sloth experience on my actual birthday, so 7th - and I will probably be weeping while feeding the most precious animals I can think of. I cannot put into words how happy this is making me. I'm in danger of getting over giddy so having to find ways to calm myself down before I lose myself in the excitement! I'm thinking I'll dolls house rabbit hole and look at pretty things that I'll be doing post next week and my south American animals. I'm not spending money on the feeding experiences but I would if I could/had to/something something, but I am lucky to have some of the best friends you could hope for who are helping me get to do some fun things I otherwise wouldn't be doing around about now. This thread, I don't know, it feels special and sharing this with all of you makes me happy.

There will be photos that I'll happily share if anyone wants to see a grown arsed woman crying next to a bemused sloth! 😅

Please can I see the pic of you feeding the sloth?
Love the capybara feeding too.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/04/2025 04:09

PalmTreeAngel · 31/03/2025 18:18

Who the f spends 20k on cutlery?!

Someone who wants it and will treasure it.

Why do people buy anything? Because they want to.

HTH🙄

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 01/04/2025 04:00

@FagsMagsandBags Most definitely! Lots of pictures, and I'll be "rinsing my eyes" watching your joy!

FagsMagsandBags · 01/04/2025 03:23

I shall share, birthday twin! I like their French name, it's very distinguished.

SiobhanSharpe · 01/04/2025 03:22

@FagsMagsandBags hey Fags, it's my birthday on the 7th too, and I'd love to see a photo of you feeding the sloths if you post one!
I have fed a capybara in France, we were staying near Bayonne for a couple of months and there were capybaras in the river that ran past the house. They were quite curious and tame, and really liked apples...
(We had no idea what they were at first, they are almost as big as spaniels and chunky with it. Had to look them up and found that the name for them in French is 'ragondin'.)

FagsMagsandBags · 01/04/2025 03:03

I'm here to bring a sloth update. Handily, @Violetmarmalade quoted one of my posts from yesterday so it's pretty close to this one making it slightly less "who are you, what are you talking about with sloths, woman?!" than it otherwise would have been.

So, big birthday next Monday (60th) and difficult times. I'd seen that you can get to feed capybara not too far from me and then discovered the sloth feeding too which, seriously, I love them so much they make me want to cry with their beautiful slow faces. Friend arranged a capybara feeding for me for 10th April but there were no dates free for sloths before September which doesn't surprise me. I get a message from her today - she's currently in Spain for a short break and still thinking of me - she's somehow managed to get me the sloth experience on my actual birthday, so 7th - and I will probably be weeping while feeding the most precious animals I can think of. I cannot put into words how happy this is making me. I'm in danger of getting over giddy so having to find ways to calm myself down before I lose myself in the excitement! I'm thinking I'll dolls house rabbit hole and look at pretty things that I'll be doing post next week and my south American animals. I'm not spending money on the feeding experiences but I would if I could/had to/something something, but I am lucky to have some of the best friends you could hope for who are helping me get to do some fun things I otherwise wouldn't be doing around about now. This thread, I don't know, it feels special and sharing this with all of you makes me happy.

There will be photos that I'll happily share if anyone wants to see a grown arsed woman crying next to a bemused sloth! 😅

AlwaysPerplexed · 01/04/2025 02:19

I know this is really small in the grand scheme of things but I spent £20 on a potato peeler - Alessi (just checked it's now £35!) but I just love using it - In fact I have the bird kettle, a fruit bowl, a plate, all Alessi and all used every day.

talk to me if you stupidly bought something £££ you couldnt really afford

TryingToControlMyFinances · 01/04/2025 01:04

babyproblems · 30/03/2025 22:52

Thinking about my spending actually my other huge frivolity is a very small elderly dog who had significant health problems that I adopted at the age of 15… he’s one of the loves of my life and I take excellent care of him; everyone thought he would come home to die basically he was in such a poor state.. We are now several years on from his adoption and he is very much still going, stable and enjoying himself a little bit in life - I have spent thousands on his vets bills this last two years- we can afford it so it’s not a daft expense and of course makes a huge difference to him. My DH hasn’t ever asked me how much he actually costs us because he knows it’s a ridiculous amount 😂 Everyone constantly tells me I’m insane for adopting him and continuing any expensive treatment required at his age but honestly this tiny ancient dog is the most resilient thing I’ve ever seen, and he still has a good quality of life thanks to my investments in him both money at the vets & daily care. And he has taught me so much about unconditional love! For me it’s very worth it. I won’t keep him going when I know it’s his time and he can’t go on. Keep the shoes. Love this thread x

This is one of the nicest things I have ever read on Mumsnet.

Thank you for looking after this elderly dog so well.

In a world where everyone seems out just for themselves this was wonderful to read.

Pollymollydolly · 01/04/2025 00:40

edwinbear · 30/03/2025 20:58

We couldn’t afford the canteen as well! They are individually wrapped up in tissue and kept in the (free) velvet roll we got with them.

OP - can we see your lovely shoes! 🙏

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That is gorgeous!

FagsMagsandBags · 01/04/2025 00:39

Thank you for that, @Violetmarmalade I can definitely get there and I'll almost certainly be doing just that very soon!

Itisfreezing111 · 01/04/2025 00:29

A large wool rug for my lounge, over £3000. 10 years old now and still gives me pleasure