To feel sad that I got nothing for Mother's Day

You need to start your own thread. You’ll get better responses especially if you provide more detail about whether you are married, have kids, how things have worked financially between you until now etc

Hi everyone! Just want people's opinion please. I've been with my partner for 26 years now and we've never been well off, but recently he has come into quite a bit of money, over 100k, he hasn't said anything about giving me any so I asked for 5k to help with my debts. He said no he will give me £500!! Am I wrong in wanting more? I feel like he doesn't care about me otherwise he would want to help me out. x

Why is this so important to you? Haven’t they proved their love to you over the years? I’m sick of the entitlement that comes with this stupid day,

i also feel your pain. My oldest grown up son forgot my birthday 2 weeks ago so my husband suggested he redeem himself on mother’s day. Then on Mother’s Day, he just sent me a text! It does really hurt!! I wish Mother’s Day didn’t exist. It brings the opposite of joy in our house!!

Hi, I feel you're pain, I have 3 grown up sons and didn't receive anything, all I wanted was a card. They all have wives, and kids so they knew it was mother's day!

People may come along to say that this is being transactional, but I totally understand how easy it is to feel unappreciated especially when you make a big effort for everyone else.

My three adult children also let me down yesterday. I have been very upset. My eldest son just sent a text, not even a call. My younger two sons, both live at home. One got me nothing and the other got me a gift but it did t arrive until 6.30pm. I feel your pain OP. I feel very unappreciated as I never miss their special days.

I have three adult children.
One is only just an adult, has ("mild") SN, lives with me, and is completely ignorant to mothers day (it's never really been encouraged so not going to start demanding stuff now!).
One lives in same town, she bought me a gift and we went out for a coffee together yesterday.
The other lives over an hour away, was probably working, I didn't get so much as a message, let alone a phone call (though I can't rule out that I may get some form of contact at some point).

Yes I feel a bit miffed that only one of my kids seemed to care - but it's totally irrational isn't it!? I don't really need acknowledgement and fussing over on this one day a year to know my kids love me - if they didn't they'd have cut me out long ago. It's just seeing so many people wafting around with bunches of flowers and afternoon teas and empty waffle on bits of cardboard makes it look like we're missing out. And the incessant advertising. And the people at checkouts wishing me a happy mother's day (really didn't like that).

Bore off with your horrible comments

I have adult children OP who have left home and I would feel the same as you. It’s hurtful and thoughtless.

I will cheerfully admit I’ve never bought my mother a Mother’s Day card or even rung her on the day. We don’t send each other cards for birthdays either.

But I can understand if your kids normally do that it can be upsetting if they stop though it is easy to forget - my partner hadn’t noticed it was Mother’s Day until about 11am then hurriedly rang his mother!

I hope you spent some time spoiling yourself instead.

Your feelings are validated. We know it’s really just a commercialised day .However it’s nice for one day a year for them to say how much they appreciate you. It’s been another Mother’s Day gone , sometimes I do wonder will my son reach out to me after cutting me off 7 years ago! Went out with my parents and daughter she showed us what her and my son had got their other Nan . Very nice gift , I do feel hurt it’s not about receiving gifts or anything but it does hurt ,

They do care, and that’s what matters. I banned gifts from mine this year. I don’t want any more stuff!

That's absolutely ridiculous. Why do you want anything at all never mind so they're giving you because of commercial obligation.

I really wouldn't think they didn't care. I don't associate caring with material things on one day of the year. Also don't compare with neighbours, we only see the external of other people's lives. You have 2 independent children who love their mum.

Someone has decided to cash in on a day to commercialise it. Don't let that define how you feel.

There is plenty of times when you've had nice conversations or had lovely time spent with your children, I have no idea why we have to force it into 1 day.

Do something nice for yourself because it's a Sunday and the sun is shining :-)

I feel like these kind of disappointments are usually indicative that you're not happy in some other way. It is rubbish that in the modern day a lot of grown up children have to move away for work and whatever else. There just often aren't opportunities and things everywhere anymore, and it is sad that families are so far apart as a result. Hopefully you will see at least one of your children some time soon OP.

I just don’t understand this gifts for Mother’s Day thing. You get gifts for Christmas and birthday. Mother’s Day is a card and a cuddle. Expecting presents as a grown up is a bit odd IMHO. Who needs more tat in their lives?

One rang you and one sent something, I'd say that's a pretty good mother's day and sign that they love and care for you OP, although if they did forget it wouldn't mean they didn't. It's the expectation that ruins the day, DH has spent two weeks saying 'I wonder if they'll send you anything: and 'I wonder if they'll call' and tbh he's been driving me nuts because I don't want to care or somehow feel lesser if they didn't - stupid confected overblown occasion.

Just for a different perspective, I also have adult DC who don't live at home. I got messages from both of them and it's fine. I know they love me and they know I don't need or want cards, gifts and fuss. The one who does live at home will give me a big hug and a bunch of daffodils from the garden and that's fine too. We're all different.

But OP, if that's not your expectation and they usually do things differently I can understand why you'd be upset.

Here's a bunch of flowers from me

I get in a humph about things like this. I really don’t want a gift but I want a card with some rubbish words on it and then I’m incredibly happy 😆
It’s ridiculous I know but I think my dc realise this by now.
Older one sent me a card with a cat on the front, I guess in homage to my fluffy friend, with her own words inside and younger girl baked shortbread and gave me tulips and some printed photos.
Was very happy that they took some of their time for me.

You are not being unreasonable. We’ve been hearing the ads for weeks. It doesn’t take much to send a card or small token in recognition. Having said that, if it’s not normally forgotten I’d cheer up and treat it as a blip.

get off Mumsnet now
get online now
order yourself something you would like … coffee machine, new clothes, a random lawnmower, book a hair appointment but whatever it is do something for you now and get yourself a lovely takeaway tonight with a cheeky glass of wine. Treat yourself right