Page 5 | Husband getting married

Avegtheme · 01/04/2025 14:54

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Avegtheme · 01/04/2025 14:49

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BitOutOfPractice · 01/04/2025 14:31

Neversayit · 01/04/2025 13:06

There are differences re divorce depending on whether you’re in England/Wales, Scotland or NI too though @BitOutOfPractice.

I think sometimes there’s an assumption everyone on MN is in England tbh, or that things are done the same as England throughout the UK.
(You often see this sort of thing on school threads when the OP is in Scotland too.)

Edited

Sure but it sounds like the differences are more extreme in Ireland. Based purely on this thread. Not claiming any expertise.

Cactusmad · 01/04/2025 14:28

The op came on here for support she can’t voice in real life . She had been given information and support, we are not qualified to advise a stranger who we don’t know all the details about. Advice is sometimes ill advised. We are not in her shoes, we are standing with her . Ultimately it’s her life and she did explain it was her first time posting.

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 14:10

GertieET · 01/04/2025 14:06

Thank you 😊 That's helpful. I really appreciate that as I didn't know. At least someone is kind enough to explain and not act like an A over it.
I have literally been where OP has been. Sure my ex didn't get remarried but I know how it is being in a DV situation, I know how expensive and time consuming court and divorce can be.
If my comments weren't helpful fine but people are just extremely rude about it.

You haven't been where she has been. She's in a different country with different divorce laws.

You were very rude to OP.

GertieET · 01/04/2025 14:06

Thank you 😊 That's helpful. I really appreciate that as I didn't know. At least someone is kind enough to explain and not act like an A over it.
I have literally been where OP has been. Sure my ex didn't get remarried but I know how it is being in a DV situation, I know how expensive and time consuming court and divorce can be.
If my comments weren't helpful fine but people are just extremely rude about it.

Original poster

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 13:53

GertieET · 01/04/2025 13:44

I can't be bothered 😂 The point is she asked a question and I replied with what I would do, based off the information given at the time. You all as rude as heck that people can't go through 23 pages of texts.
So many excuses put up when in reality the answer is pretty simple. If she felt she can't report him to the authorities because of fear then maybe she shouldn't have asked the question in the first place because only she knows him and the situation. It just seems senseless if people have given advice when ultimately it seems she can't report him anyway 🤷

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If you cant be bothered dont be bothered to give an ill informed opinion.
I asked a question and have had helpful replies, dont shit on me because you cant be arsed to spend 5 minutes reading a something.
😡

OP posts:

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 13:48

GertieET · 01/04/2025 13:44

I can't be bothered 😂 The point is she asked a question and I replied with what I would do, based off the information given at the time. You all as rude as heck that people can't go through 23 pages of texts.
So many excuses put up when in reality the answer is pretty simple. If she felt she can't report him to the authorities because of fear then maybe she shouldn't have asked the question in the first place because only she knows him and the situation. It just seems senseless if people have given advice when ultimately it seems she can't report him anyway 🤷

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Don't blame the OP because your advice was pointless and ignorant, and you couldn't be arsed to read the OPs posts.

Neversayit · 01/04/2025 13:45

@GertieET
If you press ‘See all’ you’ll be able to read OP’s posts only.

GertieET · 01/04/2025 13:44

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 12:55

Try RTFT

Show quote history

I can't be bothered 😂 The point is she asked a question and I replied with what I would do, based off the information given at the time. You all as rude as heck that people can't go through 23 pages of texts.
So many excuses put up when in reality the answer is pretty simple. If she felt she can't report him to the authorities because of fear then maybe she shouldn't have asked the question in the first place because only she knows him and the situation. It just seems senseless if people have given advice when ultimately it seems she can't report him anyway 🤷

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 13:38

GhostHunterPlay · 01/04/2025 13:22

You should definitely report him. It doesn't matter how you feel about him moving on since your separation, if he gets married without divorcing you first, he's committing bigamy, which is a criminal act.

And what in the shiny shite does that have to do with OP?

Cactusmad · 01/04/2025 13:27

The other woman is not the op problem, that just muddies the water she is in no way responsible for her . Reaching out to her or confronting him could potentially put the op in danger. She has worked hard to make a new life and just wanted a sounding board on here . We have given her that but ultimately she knows him we don’t. I hope this gets resolved with as little disruption to her life as possible. Life at points is crap through no fault of our own, good luck with the rest of your life and stand proud. You are a survivor.

MissBridgetJones · 01/04/2025 13:23

ApolloandDaphne · 30/03/2025 16:42

A humanist ceremony is still a legal marriage.

Not necessarily- only if carried out by a Registrar.

GhostHunterPlay · 01/04/2025 13:22

You should definitely report him. It doesn't matter how you feel about him moving on since your separation, if he gets married without divorcing you first, he's committing bigamy, which is a criminal act.

Neversayit · 01/04/2025 13:06

There are differences re divorce depending on whether you’re in England/Wales, Scotland or NI too though @BitOutOfPractice.

I think sometimes there’s an assumption everyone on MN is in England tbh, or that things are done the same as England throughout the UK.
(You often see this sort of thing on school threads when the OP is in Scotland too.)

BitOutOfPractice · 01/04/2025 12:59

Psychoticbreak · 01/04/2025 08:56

They are unaware of the fact Ireland is independent from the UK I suspect or unaware there are countries outside of the UK with differing laws.

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I don’t think it’s that. It’s just an assumption that everyone on mn is in the uk. We’ve all probably done it, unless it’s stated otherwise in the op.

there is no excuse for not reading updates though.

And this English person is genuinely surprised by how hard divorce is in Ireland. No doubt it usually works against women.

I’ll say again op, I hope you can have your peace restored very soon. The poor woman he’s marrying too. I feel for you too.

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 12:58

PetMummy · 01/04/2025 12:35

Let him get married then report him to the police for bigamy because that's when he's committed the crime. You can enjoy the fun that will cause, just make sure he hasn't got your address.

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He does have her address, it's not the police, and she's not reporting anything.
Helps to read the thread.

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 12:57

RampantIvy · 01/04/2025 12:37

Just had a thought. If he died while still married to the OP, would she be liable for any debts he might have?

Already addressed in the thread: no.

Cactusmad · 01/04/2025 12:55

So he wants to help when you are struggling due to him but abusive when you are thriving. Controlling behaviour and you recognise that and quite rightly want to protect yourself. None of this is your fault.

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 12:55

GertieET · 01/04/2025 11:18

well then why is she asking the question? In the first post she asked if she should report it and to whom? So I have given my opinion. If she has now backtracked on her first post then fine but I missed that 😬

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Try RTFT

WheresYourSnickers · 01/04/2025 12:51

RampantIvy · 01/04/2025 12:37

Just had a thought. If he died while still married to the OP, would she be liable for any debts he might have?

From my reading of OP's posts they are legally separated, so No.

Talkinpeace · 01/04/2025 12:47

PetMummy · 01/04/2025 12:35

Let him get married then report him to the police for bigamy because that's when he's committed the crime. You can enjoy the fun that will cause, just make sure he hasn't got your address.

Show quote history

If you had bothered to read her posts you'd know that he does.

RampantIvy · 01/04/2025 12:37

Just had a thought. If he died while still married to the OP, would she be liable for any debts he might have?

PetMummy · 01/04/2025 12:35

Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 15:53

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

Let him get married then report him to the police for bigamy because that's when he's committed the crime. You can enjoy the fun that will cause, just make sure he hasn't got your address.

Original poster

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 12:25

Cactusmad · 01/04/2025 12:10

So sorry this has landed at your door. You seem certain you don’t want to him in your life and his actions have stirred up emotions from the past . You said he was violent and left you penniless. The wedding is his doing and that you are having to face the past again .His actions are that his not yours . You sound like you have lots of things in place already and due to financial difficulties you can’t divorce yet . You have been proactive and built a life after domestic violence. That takes strength and resilience. This is his mess .

Thankyou! Means alot, and i think that i succeeded in moving on and rebuilt my life has truly pissed him off, when i was on my knees he wanted to " help" imagine that, when i picked myself up and marched on , and it was soooo hard he became abusive again.

OP posts: