Page 4 | Husband getting married

Grassisalotgreener · 2025-03-30T14:53:04+00:00

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week . Should i inform someone in authority? Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

Minecraftvsroblox · 01/04/2025 21:19

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 19:21

Jeesus read my posts I DO NOT DISCUSS THEIR FATHER

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You're arguing with the anonymous. This forum is not always a great place to get advice from. I did once and never again I would say 5% understood the situation. The majority of people who post on here are bored. I think you are unreasonable to expect advice from a bunch of bored women. You know what to do don't take offence to strangers who don't know what you look like.

WhistPie · 01/04/2025 21:03

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 20:12

🤣 IM IN THE UK. So giving MY ADVICE that KNOW is FACTUALLY CORRECT !

It’s the same for 99% of the western world!

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When you think it's as bad as it gets, someone comes along to lower the bar even further 🤦‍♀️

BitOutOfPractice · 01/04/2025 20:29

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 18:23

This is MY POINT! Why is she worrying about something that COULDN'T HAPPEN anyway? Unless she’s still invested in that relationship and what he’s doing! …..And at the moment, he’s not doing anything wrong by being engaged!

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It’s a bit more than engaged. The wedding invitations have been sent out.

bit I agree. The op needs to bide her time now. Do nothing. See what happens. I can’t believe her kids won’t say anything now they know he’s still married and they’ve had a wedding invite. What a shit show this ridiculous man is creating.

WheresYourSnickers · 01/04/2025 20:18

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 20:12

🤣 IM IN THE UK. So giving MY ADVICE that KNOW is FACTUALLY CORRECT !

It’s the same for 99% of the western world!

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But the OP, and plenty of other posters, have said she's not in the UK. So you're "advice" 🙄 is worthless.
99% of the world is not in the UK (despite what you may think).
And there's no need to shout.

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 20:12

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 20:04

They're not in the fucking UK.

Its been said 97 times already.

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🤣 IM IN THE UK. So giving MY ADVICE that KNOW is FACTUALLY CORRECT !

It’s the same for 99% of the western world!

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 20:04

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 19:19

I wouldn’t have even wasted my time writing on MumsNet. (I’m a properly blunt person and yes, it comes across harsh!, but I won’t apologise for who I am).

Don’t worry about what he’s doing, or his new partner and children. Just live your life and enjoy it. He cannot legally get married in the UK without divorce documents.

He’s not done anything wrong, he’s just engaged.

you need to file for your divorce. If you win the lottery…. He’s entitled to HALF as your husband. If you die… all your belongings (regarlesss off a will!) will go to him and he will oversee your funeral. Do you really want that?!

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They're not in the fucking UK.

Its been said 97 times already.

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 19:43

I don’t think AIBU is for this kind of thread OP, not known for its professional legal advice

Original poster

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 19:37

Neversayit · 01/04/2025 19:29

OP is clearly tired of people bringing up things she has already addressed upthread.

People do really need to read all her posts.

Neversayit
Thankyou exactly that!
look at this paragragh from lollylucy101 its insane!

He’s not done anything wrong, he’s just engaged.
you need to file for your divorce. If you win the lottery…. He’s entitled to HALF as your husband. If you die… all your belongings (regarlesss off a will!) will go to him and he will oversee your funeral. Do you really want that?!

OP posts:

Original poster

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 19:32

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 19:24

I don’t really fancy talking about my ex
but my kids…. Well, they want to sometimes and so I suck it up
especially about things like him remarrying and whether we are divorced or not
each to their own

That was meant for lollylucy101 sorry
Its time to stop reading posts as i feel frustrated with people that keep saying irelevant misinformed nonsense and cannot be bothered to read the thread but hey ill throw this in anyways..
Have a bit of common sense lollylucy101

OP posts:

Neversayit · 01/04/2025 19:29

OP is clearly tired of people bringing up things she has already addressed upthread.

People do really need to read all her posts.

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 19:25

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 19:23

Another one that couldnt be arsed and making assumptions, do you do this in your real life or just on o line...ffs

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Heavens op
ok I’ll back away
all sounds quite depressing
all the best

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 19:24

I don’t really fancy talking about my ex
but my kids…. Well, they want to sometimes and so I suck it up
especially about things like him remarrying and whether we are divorced or not
each to their own

Original poster

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 19:23

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 19:19

I wouldn’t have even wasted my time writing on MumsNet. (I’m a properly blunt person and yes, it comes across harsh!, but I won’t apologise for who I am).

Don’t worry about what he’s doing, or his new partner and children. Just live your life and enjoy it. He cannot legally get married in the UK without divorce documents.

He’s not done anything wrong, he’s just engaged.

you need to file for your divorce. If you win the lottery…. He’s entitled to HALF as your husband. If you die… all your belongings (regarlesss off a will!) will go to him and he will oversee your funeral. Do you really want that?!

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Another one that couldnt be arsed and making assumptions, do you do this in your real life or just on o line...ffs

OP posts:

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 19:22

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 19:21

Jeesus read my posts I DO NOT DISCUSS THEIR FATHER

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Yes you don’t
but doesn’t occur to you that your adult children may want to discuss this with their mother? So you have no idea what their thoughts are or whether they’re attending
ok

Neversayit · 01/04/2025 19:21

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 19:17

The news of his up coming nuptials were a shock

and a relief surely?

are his children happy for him?

OP literally wrote “it was a relief to me when he got got engaged” a couple of sentences after the bit you quoted!

Original poster

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 19:21

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 19:17

The news of his up coming nuptials were a shock

and a relief surely?

are his children happy for him?

Jeesus read my posts I DO NOT DISCUSS THEIR FATHER

OP posts:

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 19:19

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 19:09

Wow.
I posted on mumsnet as i often see very good advice from posters.
The news of his up coming nuptials were a shock i didn't want to do anything rash so posted asking for advice. In reading CERTAIN peoples responses i came to a decision.
I am in no way invested in an abusive mans life, it was a relief to me when he got got engaged but i expected him to take responsibility for the first time in his sorry life , do the right thing and divorce me.
He couldnt even do that right and has dragged another woman and his children into his pathetic drama.
It was never a given that i wouldnt report him, thats why i asked for opinions, after all isnt that what this forum is for.

Edited

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I wouldn’t have even wasted my time writing on MumsNet. (I’m a properly blunt person and yes, it comes across harsh!, but I won’t apologise for who I am).

Don’t worry about what he’s doing, or his new partner and children. Just live your life and enjoy it. He cannot legally get married in the UK without divorce documents.

He’s not done anything wrong, he’s just engaged.

you need to file for your divorce. If you win the lottery…. He’s entitled to HALF as your husband. If you die… all your belongings (regarlesss off a will!) will go to him and he will oversee your funeral. Do you really want that?!

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 19:17

The news of his up coming nuptials were a shock

and a relief surely?

are his children happy for him?

Original poster

Grassisalotgreener · 01/04/2025 19:09

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 18:23

This is MY POINT! Why is she worrying about something that COULDN'T HAPPEN anyway? Unless she’s still invested in that relationship and what he’s doing! …..And at the moment, he’s not doing anything wrong by being engaged!

Show quote history

Wow.
I posted on mumsnet as i often see very good advice from posters.
The news of his up coming nuptials were a shock i didn't want to do anything rash so posted asking for advice. In reading CERTAIN peoples responses i came to a decision.
I am in no way invested in an abusive mans life, it was a relief to me when he got got engaged but i expected him to take responsibility for the first time in his sorry life , do the right thing and divorce me.
He couldnt even do that right and has dragged another woman and his children into his pathetic drama.
It was never a given that i wouldnt report him, thats why i asked for opinions, after all isnt that what this forum is for.

OP posts:

Somanyoption · 01/04/2025 18:28

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 18:23

This is MY POINT! Why is she worrying about something that COULDN'T HAPPEN anyway? Unless she’s still invested in that relationship and what he’s doing! …..And at the moment, he’s not doing anything wrong by being engaged!

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What I thought from the very outset

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 18:23

Regretsmorethanafew · 01/04/2025 13:38

And what in the shiny shite does that have to do with OP?

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This is MY POINT! Why is she worrying about something that COULDN'T HAPPEN anyway? Unless she’s still invested in that relationship and what he’s doing! …..And at the moment, he’s not doing anything wrong by being engaged!

Lollylucyclark101 · 01/04/2025 18:19

That’s because it HAPPENS BEFORE THE WEDDING. Between 28 days-11 months before. It’s called giving “Notice” …… it does not happen DURING the actual wedding lmao 🤣

WendyA22 · 01/04/2025 18:11

Zucker · 31/03/2025 16:59

What is The Bans?

My mistake - it's called 'giving notice' in a Register office, 'reading banns' is what happens for the 3 weeks leading up to a church wedding. It basically informs everyone in that district or parish of your intention to marry and it also gives anyone a chance to say if the marriage shouldn't go ahead for any reason. (Him already being married is probably a good example!)

SnoozingFox · 01/04/2025 17:37

It's NOT her job to report anything. Stop trying to get your jollies at the OP's expense! Her duty is to keep herself and her children safe and that is all!

This comment is spot on. Too many posters who watch too many reality shows and soap operas who are desperate to be involved in a bit of drama and egging the OP on for their own gratification. Almost as bad as the posters who start a post with "well if it was me" and then launch into a wild story detailing some action that nobody would do ever, just to make out they are smart.

Add to that the fact that a larger percentage of people don't seem to realise Ireland is a separate country and has been since 1922, that their laws are different and that divorce wasn't even a thing until 30 years ago, or because a certain type of ceremony isn't a thing in England that doesn't mean it is not a thing elsewhere and the whole thread is a bit of a shitshow, isn't it?

@Grassisalotgreener take care of yourself. Not your circus, not your monkeys. If he is stupid enough to try to marry bigamously, then hell mend him. You have no loyalty to him, or the other woman.

llizzie · 01/04/2025 16:39

DuckieDodgyHedgyPiggy · 01/04/2025 11:13

It matters if the OP decides she wants to remarry at some point.

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Has she said that? I was referring to the present state of affairs, that it doesn't matter if she tells the authorities or not, since you say she doesn't have to..