Husband getting married

The OP is trying to say, she is not in the UK.

Just checked my archives that have gathered dust in the wardrobe for the last 16 years.. estranged abusive husband was granted Decree Nisi in 2013 so it took 4 years to get to that point, 6 weeks later we could have got the Decree Absolute but he refused to attend mediation for financials & pensions - why? 12 years later no further forward. So yes Divorce can take a long time - punish the bitch for taking off with another man and humiliating the abusive husband. Yes he was granted a divorce on the grounds of my adultery with co-respondent but it was worth it just to be able to live my life without abuse. Some other mug will be getting it now, and I know she is, 100%.

@Blondeshavemorefun genuinely a case of 'to be sure to be sure to be sure'. So Irish lol

Gotcha. Thanks

wonder why it’s so hard

7yr sounds awful

I get what you are saying, but I think OP is worried that he will come on her physically if she does anything to prevent the wedding to happen. (Though it is solely his fault not to divorce her).

@Blondeshavemorefun I am in Ireland. It is hard to get divorced. It takes bloody forever and my own took 7 years. My point is that it doesnt make a difference why you have separated it takes as long for people who just dont want to be married anymore to someone who has been abused, we just divorce or separate, the reasons for why the split happens is not a part of it so it cannot be rushed any quicker.

You are in Ireland @Psychoticbreak?
I thought reading what op said it was hard to divorce

We have no fault divorce here so DV does not come into it. You just get divorced there is no blame apportioned.

I’m shocked that in 2025 how behind Ireland still is in relation to divorce esp due to DV

I think the OP has been upset by the posts she has received from some posters.

It is not nice to insult anyone. If people cannot say something nice, or helpful, and not judge the OP, it is best they say nothing.

You are being very odd on someone else's thread.

If you want to talk about whatever it is that's concerning you, you can make your own thread.

Completely beside the point, but it is an urban myth that the statue of justice at the Old Bailey is blindfolded. She is not (some other statues of this figure are, I think) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Statue_Of_%27Justice%27_Old_Bailey.jpg

How else can you explain the nastiness of some posters on this and other threads? The figure on the Old Bailey is blindfolded for a reason.

''you are joking ....right?'' How helpful do you think that is to the OP and others attempting to help? Why should I joke?

To me, it is better to believe that someone is researching into the psychological effect on vulnerable people than that it comes second nature to be spiteful.

On another thread, I objected to bad language. Someone posted that if I didn't like swearing and bad language, and nastiness, I shouldn't be a member of Mumsnet. Mumsnet is a public arena. The law says:

• Public Order Act 1986:
• This act criminalizes public order offenses, including using threatening, abusive, or insulting words or behavior, or displaying such representations, within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm, or distress.

.

Lecturing? Is that aimed at me, or is it just another way of tearing apart another poster? Why on earth would I want to know what ChatGPT is? It may be that one day I may need it, though for the life of me I cannot imagine a scenario.

Do you even know what copy and pasting is? It is a printer term - and I don't mean printers with computers, though of course, it is a common thing to create a document using several others. Fraudsters do it all the time.

Cut and Paste has been used in publishing ever since the first printing press was invented.

I use the same ancient system for accuracy, especially in a legal problem, copy and paste does ensure that the poster is not putting their own interpretation on anything. What don't you like about that?

Lecture ended for the moment.

OP indicates that she believes he would know it was her. I assume that it's probably because everyone around them believes them to be divorced. She said her own children were surprised when she blurted it out to them.

It sounds to me as if there is some 'thing' in Irish law that would put her at a serious financial disadvantage if she were to divorce him. That and the fact that he was violent and abusive and she fears him. So if she's found a little 'hidey hole' where she is safe and 'out of sight, out of mind' from him, I don't blame her for keeping schtum and saying nothing.

She says they have a legal separation and that she has consulted solicitors and done estate planning. I suppose at this point all she can do is wait for a change in Irish law or for him to pop his clogs. I agree it's a horrible situation for her to be in, but sometimes we have to just make the best of it.

Apologies if this has already been addressed but how sure are that your own marriage is valid?

If he is prepared to commit bigamy maybe he already has, and your own marriage was not his first and is not legal?

How would one go about confirming this?

Don't be silly his actions and decisions have nothing to do with the op. He would be arrested and prosecuted not the op.

Use to your advantage OP. Ask for clean divorce and he pays and you won’t dob him in!

It was meant to be petty. 🤷‍♀️

I understand your point and agree it’s annoying when people assume laws are the same etc.

It’s still an extremely poor example and lessens the point you are making. It makes what was a very valid complaint seem petty.

Yes. Purposely so, as stated.

Facetious.

FFS - RTFT

It's not called "the police" is the point,vans it was part of a larger point about endless posters wittering on about UK registry offices, UK laws, UK divorces etc..

Since An Garda Síochána describes itself as ‘Ireland’s National Police and Security Service’ this was not a good example of the point you were trying to make.

Ireland does have a police force. Usually just called The Guards, but they’re a police force nonetheless.