Husband getting married

13 years is a very long time. If I was a victim of DV then I’d have been pressing for divorce back in 2012/2013 not have it still going on in 2025 unless you were waiting for him to die and you inherit his estate.

Apologies if loads of ppl have already said this but it’s fairly common in Ireland to stop at legal separation and not bother getting the divorce - maybe it’s down to cost and/or some kind of a religious thing. Maybe after the hassle of mediation and getting the legal separation sorted, people just don’t want the extra bother unless they want to get married again. I’m not even sure people are as prone to remarrying in Ireland - I don’t know anyone personally who has remarried. My parents have had a legal separation since around 1990, my mum has been with her current partner (who is also separated) for the same amount of time - nobody seems bothered about not being divorced! Some of my aunties are similarly long-term separated (with new partners longer than the original spouses) but none are divorced…

My understanding is that all of the issues (property/finances/inheritance/ custody/access etc) have been settled at the point when the legal separation is granted so there is no reason to bother with the divorce except for being free to remarry (not in Catholic church though).

For the people advising the OP that she needs to inform the authorities etc you need to think about the fact that this was an abusive relationship. That she had to escape this man and that even her children were traumatised by what they went through.

So if she rocks the boat then she could be at risk.

If he is marrying someone else, then he is the criminal, the only person OP owes anything to is herself. She needs to stay safe. What this man does isn’t her problem. And neither is the woman he’s marrying. She needs to be responsible for herself.

@Grassisalotgreener

I would recommend that you speak to a Family Law solicitor tomorrow, OP.

Would one in Dublin be suitable for you, or would you need one in a different part of Ireland?

Regretsmorethanafew

I know this may be hard to believe, but people are allowed to have opinions even go online to find out about other countries laws, politics and religions……. Even if we don’t live there. If you’re that touchy maybe MN Is not the best place for you

No advice, just sympathy, @Grassisalotgreener

Currently going through mediation in Ireland with a very angry man.

If you don't manage to get an agreement in mediation in Ireland the price of a divorce is insane. There aren't very many family law solicitors and the process is very difficult.

Ireland hasn't had legal divorce for very long and there isn't anything here like the CSA. It's a nightmare.

If you've told your adult children that you're still married, surely one of them will now ask their father what is going on? I totally understand why you don't want to be the one to rock the boat, but maybe one of your children will get some more information soon.

Lots of people tell guests they're "getting married" when legally they're not - it's actually just a blessing/non-legal ceremony that they're having.

Could you all stop brit-splaining Irish divorce law to Irish people? Go raibh maith agat

I would stay out of it then.

If you think it’ll turn out bad for you or if it has no negative effects on your life and you don’t want to punish him, then I would stay right out of it.

He’ll get caught by one day.

Yes, in Ireland, you can apply for a divorce without the other spouse's agreement, provided you meet specific conditions, including a period of separation and no reasonable chance of reconciliation.

Here's a more detailed explanation:

• No-Fault Divorce:
• Ireland has a "no-fault" divorce system, meaning the judge doesn't inquire into the reasons for the marriage breakdown.
• Conditions for Divorce:
• To apply for a divorce, you must prove to the court that:
• You and your spouse have lived separately for at least two out of the previous three years.
• There is no reasonable chance of reconciliation.
• You or your spouse must live permanently in Ireland.
• Either of you lived in Ireland for at least one year before applying for divorce.
• Sole Application:
• You can apply for a divorce on your own, meaning you don't need your spouse's consent to initiate the process.
• Court Decision:
• If your spouse doesn't agree with the divorce terms or the application, the court will make a decision based on the circumstances. looks petty much the same as England, but I’m not. I could be wrong.

Very nice, but that doesn't apply to Ireland. It's a different country with different laws.

The marriage won’t go ahead unless he lies and says he’s never been married. You have to show your divorce papers to remarry,

Other than the fact that you both must live permanently in Ireland

Zucker

if you go online it looks exactly the same procedure if you are in Ireland or England from my understanding

What's that got to do with the price of fish?

Just wanted to pop on and send you a hug OP.
It sounds like you have spent many years working hard to repair damage from this man’s behaviour. It must be hard to have him drawn back into your considerations in even a small way.
I have no advice but hope you find a peaceful way forward which suits you as soon as possible.
Take care of yourself x

Are you saying you are still using his name because you're not divorced yet? That can be easily sorted out.