Husband getting married

Yes, in the Republic of Ireland weddings carried out by the Humanist Association of Ireland are legal marriages. Weddings carried out by the Spritualist Association of Ireland are also - these are proving popular becase the HAI doesn't have enough celebrants to meet demand. The HSE (aka registry office, where I got married) operates 9-5 on weekdays in their offices or limited other locations, the only other options are religious and in "Catholic Ireland" a lot fewer than half of marriages now take place in a church. The SAI weddings are still counted as "religious" for statistical purposes, but they can have as much or as little religious or "spiritual" 🙄content as the couple wishes, often it's nothing. Just a way of getting around the limitations of office hours and the very limited availability of humanist celebrants.

I don't know about Ireland, but in Scotland, you can do a quick search on the Scotland's People website - it was primarily set up for family genealogists, but it's the official website for St Andrew's House, the central registrar for Scotland.

I did a quick check using my late husband's details. He was divorced in the '80s and it does indeed show his divorce. (No payment required for the check, but you then have to make a payment if you want a copy of the divorce certificate sent to you.)

I can't recall whether DH had to take his divorce certificate into the registry office when we applied for the marriage lines, but given our small population it's really easy for officials here to find details online.

When I registered my mum's death, the registrar looked up the details of her marriage to my dad because the death certificates here show all marriages undertaken by the deceased. My husband's death certificate shows both his marriages.

[Irrelevant to modern checks, but in the case of a relative who was married to his first wife during WW1 and divorced in 1938 there was annotation on the original marriage entry to say that the marriage had been divorced. (It was unusual for a working man to obtain a divorce in those days, but he had ample grounds - his first wife had had children to someone else while he was away in the army.) There was no need to send off for a certificate to see the details for a divorce over 100 hundred years ago.]

As everyone has said you need to check your marital status. If you are not divorced it can have financial consequences.

I’d check where you are legally, if not divorced there’s all sorts of financial assets that people assume stop when you split up but actually dont

i recently read about a couple that had separated and the man had after separation had managed to go from rags to riches with a company and idea that didn’t even exist until a few years after separation but the courts awarded a big settlement to her, there wasn’t even any children involved. So pensions, house, savings get advice asap just to be safe

Is there any access to even brief free legal advice in ROI via a charity esp like a domestic abuse charity?

Im just thinking do you need to double check that you aren’t in any way potentially in trouble for not reporting if you are aware he is getting married and you know he is (possibly) committing a crime?

I totally agree you are well advised to stay out of it as much as possible but I’d really hate anything to come back and bite you when it sounds like that awful man has caused you enough drama and hurt in one lifetime.

Definfely wait until after he’s done it and it might then also be more clear whether it’s a ceremonial event only or actually something with legal substance.

If you aren’t under any obligation to report then I agree stay well out if it but I would just check that one out if you can.

Definfely change your name by deed poll. Surprisingly easy to do as an adult.

And I really hope you get to divorce him in time and end the financial shackle whatever it is. Sounds like that would be the last link in any connection with him and you would be finally free to forget about him forever.

And tbh OP I didn’t even attempt to divorce him because I was terrified he’d find out where I lived. I spoke to one solicitor only and she said I’d have to put my address on court documents so I was out of there so fast. After about 7 years a friend contacted me to say she’d heard he’d died. So at least I saved a big solicitor’s bill.

I had no contact after I left due to DV, no children. I was able to check online if he had divorced me in my absence ( in UK after 5 years he could have divorced me without my consent but I don’t know if the law in Ireland is similar)
Dont know what I’d do in your situation leave him to crack on and if it comes to light it’s bigamous then that’s his lookout I suppose. And feel sorry for the poor woman either way.

@Grassisalotgreener I have only just read your thread. Sadly because we are in Ireland where divorce law is very very different a lot of people will have a lot of advice that just does not wash with us. I am so sorry you are dealing with this but from a legal standpoint while you are legally separated and not divorced then you have personally nothing to worry about. Actually its the new missus that should be doing more digging for her own due diligence but that is on her not you, you have been through enough. Let him go through his farcical wedding. He cant gain off you, he cant even gain off her as their marriage wont be legal. He clearly has something in mind and thinks he is playing someone but reality is that he is only playing himself. Hard on the new woman but well you cannot bring more drama to your door because of it. How they got through the three month check we will never know but they did. Absolute prick though, I was once married to a gem like him. They change women not priorities sadly.

If he's not hiding it could it just be a blessing not a legal marriage ask your children where the ceremony is taking place.

Yes report him.

I agree with @Nazzywish

@Grassisalotgreener - you may have 'nothing' now (though i wonder about home equity, seeing that you have a mortgage)........ but this may change - inheritance, promotion, more adult children becoming independent...

In your shoes I'd seek a divorce. If you have a legal separation agreement, entered into after mediation, I wonder whether most of the costs associated with divorce may already have been incurred. I suspect you'd feel much safer after a clean and final break.

Is there an equivalent of Wikivorce in Ireland, and/or a Republic of Ireland version of Divorce for Dummies or other divorce guides? An Irish equivalent of Citizens Advice Bureau or Women's Aid?

Edit: Sorry - cross posted. Though I still wouldn't leave things unresolved.

Marriage is public for sure, but I’ve never heard of divorces being published. Are you sure about this?

I think you have come to the right decision. I am so sorry, this must have been quite a shock for you and your children.

Please don't tell me there are posters on here that think that after five years apart, a divorce is automatic without actually having paperwork!

If only it were that simple

Seriously?

Im sorry but I can’t believe you genuinely thought that.

Absolutely this!!

Part of me would take great pleasure in shopping him to the authorities and making him pay for his actions, as some sort of justice for what he had put me through.

But the greatest reward is him not being in OPs life and for that I would stay well out of it.

I would try and see if I was still married somehow but leave it at that and hope he gets found out some other way.

The last thing I’d want is someone like him back in my life, especially if he were to blame me for the failure of his marriage.

OP you said you pay a mortgage ,have a car to run etc..somewhere her you have assets that need to be ring-fence against his ex getting his hand on them.
Can you get free legal advice from the Irish equivalent of citizens advice or pro bono centres? I understand there's a financial barrier but there is also an incentive for him to warrant a divorce finalised otherwise his assets are maybe also open to you. But what you need to prioritise is you ,your mh and clean break if you can.
You say legally sepersted what does that mean you have some sort of order in place?

There's to many what ifs in this situation to just leave it you need to sort it out or at the very least get solid free legal advice on your financial position and what's at risk should you die/ I.e. if house is joint tenants then he still has a claim to your home even if a will is in place in England so check the Irish equivalent law etc.

There was a case a few years ago of a Latvian woman in Limerick who was fined €100 for a bigamous relationship. Even if your husband goes ahead with the new wedding it is unlikely he'll be worse off.

Your ex husband could still have a claim on the family home, your statement that he'll get half of nothing is untrue. Unless you have a fully watertight judicial separation that sorted out finances and child arrangements at the time. You can revert to your maiden name at any point.

You could also represent yourself in a divorce case once you have filed the appropriate paperwork. If he contests the divorce it will cost him more money than you to contest it fully given the passage of time. He will have to file a statement of means and a defence among other paperwork. If you apply for a divorce you are the one in charge. If there is evidence of domestic abuse mediation is not acceptable.

If you want to be shot of this gobshite forever you can take control.