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Original poster

Husband getting married

663 replies

Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 15:53

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

OP posts:
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5
Zucker · 31/03/2025 21:31

Here's a bigamy case in ireland a few years ago. Hardly worth the effort of informing the Gardaí.

The original poster would be in no way complicit ffs, some of you just love to make shite up.

Bigamy case 2005 and 2009

Ivita Visnevska - who is originally from Latvia but with an address at Berberis Court, Ilford, London - was fined €100 at Limerick Circuit Court after admitting marrying a man while still married to her first husband. File photograph: Google Street Vie...

Mother of six pleads guilty to bigamy at Limerick court

Ivita Visnevska fined over being wed in Ireland in 2005 and again in 2009 while still married

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/circuit-court/mother-of-six-pleads-guilty-to-bigamy-at-limerick-court-1.2898459

LoveLifeBeHappy · 31/03/2025 21:29

Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 15:53

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

You've been separated for 13 years and had no contact - why do you care? Let him get on with it.

Twinklewrinkle · 31/03/2025 21:28

wherever he is due to be married, if it’s in this country, they have serve notice at registry office so anyone that objects can do so before they day. Also regardless of no contact. If he filed for divorce the papers still need to be served to each other. I’d personally do the right thing and report it. Good luck. X

Xmasxrackers · 31/03/2025 21:28

Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 20:25

Its not in my best interests to involve myself any further than waiting and getting confirmation or not. Its not my problem if he breaks the law. My head is spinning with it all.

OP are your children going? Will they say anything to ex? Big hugs, even though he’s nothing to do with you anymore I can understand how this has probably made you feel xx

Talkinpeace · 31/03/2025 21:24

Pippyls67 · 31/03/2025 21:21

You must absolutely report this to the police. He is committing a criminal offence. You are complicit if you fail to report and have been made aware of his intention to commit said offence.

No
Not True

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 31/03/2025 21:24

Pippyls67 · 31/03/2025 21:21

You must absolutely report this to the police. He is committing a criminal offence. You are complicit if you fail to report and have been made aware of his intention to commit said offence.

This is nonsense. The OP has heard 2nd hand and isn’t 100% sure if it is a wedding or a commitment ceremony. She has absolutely no duty to report.

What she does need is to keep herself safe (both physically and mentally) which is best done by staying well clear.

lylagarrity · 31/03/2025 21:24

Pippyls67 · 31/03/2025 21:21

You must absolutely report this to the police. He is committing a criminal offence. You are complicit if you fail to report and have been made aware of his intention to commit said offence.

Good God, they are all out tonight.

Pippyls67 · 31/03/2025 21:21

You must absolutely report this to the police. He is committing a criminal offence. You are complicit if you fail to report and have been made aware of his intention to commit said offence.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/03/2025 21:03

Grassisalotgreener · 31/03/2025 20:38

Judecb
I do not need to inform anyone, i am not the groom, i do not know his wife to be . I know nothing of his life, other than the county i do not know where he lives.

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this
you haven’t done anything wrong @Grassisalotgreener

at the moment neither has ex

till he actually Marrys this other woman

User753175 · 31/03/2025 21:01

I don't want to seem like I'm totally bashing Ireland here, but there isn't a snowballs chance in hell that if the OP reported this at her local garda station there would be an investigation.
I'm trying to imagine how she could try to flag this up with someone if she wanted to, and it would be very difficult. I think the OP is 100% right to do nothing.

DraigCymraeg · 31/03/2025 20:52

GiraffeCup · 31/03/2025 18:48

You could go along, wait until the "dies anyone know of a reason why these two can't be married?" Bit and wave your marriage certificate in the air and say "yes, because he's married to me!"

Bring your own doof-doof sound track.

Except the OP is scared of him so that's really not practical is it?

PabloTheGreat · 31/03/2025 20:44

Some celebrants aren't legally binding, but a priest, vicar or certified solemniser may conduct a legal ceremony here in the ROI.

One thing I did find out was that in order for it to be legal, it has to be conducted at an accreditated address, so you can't get married at your local unless they have a specific permit, and you couldn't get married on a beach as its not a venue with a permit.

A family member is currently divorcing here, and had to send the papers to the ex overseas to sign as they need to be registered as being sent and received on the other side, signed and returned. Not sure if they need to be witnessed.. Then our relative has to attend court in person with the completed papers. You would have had papers sent to you.

The other possibility is that he forged your signature?

Either way it's not your problem.

AcrossthePond55 · 31/03/2025 20:43

Judecb · 31/03/2025 20:37

You walk into a police station and report it. This is actually a serious offence.

OP's 'H' was seriously and vilely abusive. For her to report this would probably bring hellfire down on her head from him.

No, she needs to look to her own safety first. And staying quiet is the right thing to do.

I'm sure she feels sorry for this unsuspecting woman, so do I. But there's no call to put one's own safety at risk and/or jeopardize one's currently calm and quiet life simply out of sympathy.

Regretsmorethanafew · 31/03/2025 20:39

Judecb · 31/03/2025 20:37

You walk into a police station and report it. This is actually a serious offence.

You walk into a what? And report a crime that hasn't happened yet, and you don't know will happen?

Original poster
Grassisalotgreener · 31/03/2025 20:38

Judecb · 31/03/2025 20:33

As this is illegal, you need to inform the police.

Judecb
I do not need to inform anyone, i am not the groom, i do not know his wife to be . I know nothing of his life, other than the county i do not know where he lives.

OP posts:
Judecb · 31/03/2025 20:37

You walk into a police station and report it. This is actually a serious offence.

Regretsmorethanafew · 31/03/2025 20:35

Judecb · 31/03/2025 20:33

As this is illegal, you need to inform the police.

Inform who?

Judecb · 31/03/2025 20:33

As this is illegal, you need to inform the police.

User753175 · 31/03/2025 20:31

Someone mentioned it earlier-divorce only because legal in Ireland in 1996. And until recently you had to be separated for 5 years before you could get divorced.
It's a hangover from Catholic Ireland. The church fought very hard against it, the same as they fought contraception and abortion rights. There isn't a child support agency that you can contact about maintenance or anything like that.
I'm in my 50s and live rurally and I only know a handful of people older than me who went through marriage breakdowns and they all have legal separations, not divorces.

Regretsmorethanafew · 31/03/2025 20:23

Crazyworldmum · 31/03/2025 20:15

With all due respect I’ve seen it happen a lot of times . I deal with it daily in the U.K. . Is the process that different in Ireland ? All are has to do is call the court and see if there is a decree .

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Yes, it's completely different.

Do you find it so hard to understand that a foreign country has different laws to your country? All due respect is none.

User753175 · 31/03/2025 20:18

Crazyworldmum · 31/03/2025 20:15

With all due respect I’ve seen it happen a lot of times . I deal with it daily in the U.K. . Is the process that different in Ireland ? All are has to do is call the court and see if there is a decree .

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Yes, it's different in Ireland. There's literally no way you could divorce someone without their knowledge.

lylagarrity · 31/03/2025 20:15

llizzie · 31/03/2025 19:54

I think you have duty to report it.

Will you dare attend and stand up when the words ''If anyone has any legal reason why these two people.......''?

Do it. It is a rare event!

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She has a duty to safeguard herself physically and mentally not provide drama for a thread online.

Crazyworldmum · 31/03/2025 20:15

Regretsmorethanafew · 31/03/2025 19:46

Fucking hell people
She's not divorced. You can't divorce someone without their knowledge in Ireland.

There's no 101 to call, it's not called the police, you can't get quick divorces, he can't claim her money or her house.....it's not the UK, it's a different country with different laws and rules....
What is wrong with most of the people on this thread?

Edited
Show quote history

With all due respect I’ve seen it happen a lot of times . I deal with it daily in the U.K. . Is the process that different in Ireland ? All are has to do is call the court and see if there is a decree .

Jocelynjustwantsachance · 31/03/2025 19:57

This reply has been deleted

We've deleted this as it looks like it was posted on the wrong thread.

Sorry wrong thread

CarobBean72 · 31/03/2025 19:57

Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 16:38

That is what i was thinking because you wouldnt go ahead with a marriage witbout getting a divorce, would you? 🤔

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Yes, but does the “bride to be” know it’s not a real legal marriage?

I think you inform police (and perhaps local registry office if you know the location) for her sake if no other.