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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband getting married

663 replies

Grassisalotgreener · 30/03/2025 15:53

Separated 13 years, no contact since children came of age, separated as a result of dv. I was informed today that he is getting Married next week .
Should i inform someone in authority?
Aibu if i report him, i was delighted when he moved on so not upset he is getting married,but im astounded because we are not divorced!

OP posts:
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5
Funnytaste · 30/04/2025 08:35

Is he married OP?!

MCCN · 19/04/2025 19:05

OP, if you did want to find out what kind of wedding it was, leave it a couple of months and then order a copy of the marriage certificate from here:

Order an Irish marriage certificate - HSE.ie

If it was a legal wedding, the certificate will be there. If it wasn't, it won't be.

Order an Irish marriage certificate

Need a marriage certificate? Order an official Irish marriage certificate for €20 from the HSE.

https://www2.hse.ie/services/births-deaths-and-marriages/order/marriage-certificate/

isthismylifenow · 18/04/2025 09:17

You sound a strong and sensible woman OP.

But even the most strongest person would be thrown at this type of news. I think your reaction has been totally normal.

I even had a bit of a wobble when my ex got remarried and we are officially divorced.

You have been through hell and back with this person, and now you are in a position to choose how he affects you. By keeping to yourself, you know you are safeguarding yourself, and in turn your children.

It is very clear on this thread which posters have survived serious abuse and have come out the other side.

Things will play out as they play out. You know you don't have to react to certain things and you are wiser for knowing this.

Regretsmorethanafew · 18/04/2025 08:40

PrettyPickle · 17/04/2025 23:11

Well if the OP is still married to him, if he dies without a Will, anything becomes hers as legally, she is the next of kin surely

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No.

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/04/2025 01:25

PrettyPickle · 17/04/2025 23:11

Well if the OP is still married to him, if he dies without a Will, anything becomes hers as legally, she is the next of kin surely

Show quote history

Or "I leave my entire estate to my wife", quids in for the OP!

PrettyPickle · 17/04/2025 23:11

Twazique · 16/04/2025 19:19

It might be worth looking up what would happen if he dies without a will or a legal wife? That may have an impact on you further down the line.

Well if the OP is still married to him, if he dies without a Will, anything becomes hers as legally, she is the next of kin surely

Talkinpeace · 16/04/2025 21:35

Twazique · 16/04/2025 19:19

It might be worth looking up what would happen if he dies without a will or a legal wife? That may have an impact on you further down the line.

RTFT

Twazique · 16/04/2025 19:19

It might be worth looking up what would happen if he dies without a will or a legal wife? That may have an impact on you further down the line.

Original poster
Grassisalotgreener · 15/04/2025 22:27

Thankyou for the kind messages, if i do ever discover what kind of wedding it was i will update MN..thankyou for the great advice and helping me see things clearly..much appreciated. Xxx

OP posts:
HundredPercentUnsure · 15/04/2025 20:08

I really want to know the epilogue to the story but alas, it isn't a story is it, it's someone's real life.

Good health to you OP!

Talkinpeace · 15/04/2025 17:41

Be well, be happy, hug your kids.

AcrossthePond55 · 15/04/2025 16:56

@Grassisalotgreener

If it was an ‘official’ marriage hopefully he’ll be even more motivated to stay out of your life lest you reveal the truth to his new ‘wife’.

Peace and quiet to you from here now on.

Onceisenoughta · 15/04/2025 01:58

Stay as strong as you are, you & your children come first - he's got his own shovel xx

pollymere · 15/04/2025 00:23

I shall pray to St Joshua that any further information comes via the news headlines. I'm glad you're rid of him x His sins will find him out I'm sure.

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/04/2025 00:06

Grassisalotgreener · 14/04/2025 23:23

I have it on good authority that the wedding took place , however i still have no idea what kind of wedding it was. It does not change my life in any way, i am happy and free.
I do not require any further advice so unhelpful comments arent required.
Once an arsehole always an arsehole, absolutely no respect for anybody, not even himself.
Im good with my decision!
Slán

I wish you health and wealth. I dont need to wish you wisdom, as you clearly already have that.

Much love xx

Original poster
Grassisalotgreener · 14/04/2025 23:23

I have it on good authority that the wedding took place , however i still have no idea what kind of wedding it was. It does not change my life in any way, i am happy and free.
I do not require any further advice so unhelpful comments arent required.
Once an arsehole always an arsehole, absolutely no respect for anybody, not even himself.
Im good with my decision!
Slán

OP posts:
orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 14/04/2025 12:17

ThatFairDeer · 14/04/2025 11:29

So is there any update on whether the wedding went ahead?

Nope. She said she won't be posting here anymore. The thread descended into attacks and scared her off. Nice one, MN.

ThatFairDeer · 14/04/2025 11:29

So is there any update on whether the wedding went ahead?

Psychoticbreak · 07/04/2025 07:58

Quack3rs · 07/04/2025 07:43

You can get legally separated after 5 years without the consent of the spouse. The court will email you a link to the documents or post them. Have you changed email address or where you live? Chances are, you could be divorced and just not seen the paperwork for some reason. The divorce will be registered somewhere. Maybe the registry office local to him or you would be where I would look first. In my opinion, if he was committing a crime then surely it would be done on the quiet and not want to risk you finding out.

Not in Ireland where about 4 thousand pages ago it was established the OP is.

WheresYourSnickers · 07/04/2025 07:46

Quack3rs · 07/04/2025 07:43

You can get legally separated after 5 years without the consent of the spouse. The court will email you a link to the documents or post them. Have you changed email address or where you live? Chances are, you could be divorced and just not seen the paperwork for some reason. The divorce will be registered somewhere. Maybe the registry office local to him or you would be where I would look first. In my opinion, if he was committing a crime then surely it would be done on the quiet and not want to risk you finding out.

FFS! 🤬😠 RTFT

Quack3rs · 07/04/2025 07:43

You can get legally separated after 5 years without the consent of the spouse. The court will email you a link to the documents or post them. Have you changed email address or where you live? Chances are, you could be divorced and just not seen the paperwork for some reason. The divorce will be registered somewhere. Maybe the registry office local to him or you would be where I would look first. In my opinion, if he was committing a crime then surely it would be done on the quiet and not want to risk you finding out.

AcrossthePond55 · 03/04/2025 16:53

xx

Neversayit · 03/04/2025 08:48

Nameychangington · 03/04/2025 07:36

Yes OP clarified that, after I posted.

Show quote history

Actually, she had said where she was (four times!) before you posted the remark pp quoted.

Sorry, I’m just being grumpy now, but threads would be much more useful if people just read all the OP’s posts before posting themselves.

Psychoticbreak · 03/04/2025 08:48

Onceisenoughta · 02/04/2025 23:02

Just checked my archives that have gathered dust in the wardrobe for the last 16 years.. estranged abusive husband was granted Decree Nisi in 2013 so it took 4 years to get to that point, 6 weeks later we could have got the Decree Absolute but he refused to attend mediation for financials & pensions - why? 12 years later no further forward. So yes Divorce can take a long time - punish the bitch for taking off with another man and humiliating the abusive husband. Yes he was granted a divorce on the grounds of my adultery with co-respondent but it was worth it just to be able to live my life without abuse. Some other mug will be getting it now, and I know she is, 100%.

The op is in Ireland so this is not the same here. I also got divorced in 2013 in Ireland but we dont have decree nisi or absolute we just get a letter basically saying we are divorce. Pension hearing is 6 weeks later and once it has been finalised on the day of divorce no need for either party to turn up here. We also have no fault divorce so does not matter if someone cheated, was violence etc a divorce is just a divorce, nobody gets to take or recieve blame here.

Nameychangington · 03/04/2025 07:36

Mayana1 · 02/04/2025 23:49

The OP is trying to say, she is not in the UK.

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Yes OP clarified that, after I posted.