Hello, I’ve been on mn for years but have name changed for this post. I have recently discovered that my grandmother has left me some money in her will, all her grandchildren received £60000 and this was distributed to us this week. I haven’t told my partner of 8 years.
For context, we own a house together as tenants in common with both of us putting down equal deposits and splitting the mortgage and bills 50/50. DP is 37 and earns £65k pa, he has two teen children from his previous marriage who we have EOW and half the holidays, he pays maintenance, uniforms, allowance etc. I am 31 earning £52k pa with no children. We have a joint account where all household expenses are paid from and we both transfer the same amount each month, but get paid into our separate accounts. He has approximately £40k personal savings and also some shares/ crypto but I don’t know the value of these. I only had £20k until now as the deposit for the house are most of my savings.
Our relationship has been very difficult the past couple of years with my partners depression and impulsive behaviour making me feel that we aren’t in a stable partnership. He has always been very insistent on everything being 50/50 financially even when I was earning far less than I am now. I’ve just accepted it because I didn’t want to viewed as a freeloader and I could look after myself. Now I’m wondering if it’s really sneaky of me to not tell him I have this money. I would like to put some of it on the mortgage but then he would ask where it came from etc. Just wanting to know if it’s ok to have a secret bank account or what I should do with the money, we aren’t married.