To find it really irritating when people ask how I’m coping with two?

32 replies

NotWantingToBeRude · 30/03/2025 11:00

I know people are just making conversation and looking for something relevant they can ask about. My sleep deprived brain is no doubt blowing things out of proportion too. Yet I find this question really irritating after a new baby.

It sometimes feels like they’re expecting me to say:

’It’s sheer hell!!! What on earth was thinking? I’ve made a big mistake.’

‘Coping?!! I’m not coping at all. We’ve got the health visitor coming round daily and have been discussing giving #2 up for adoption.’

’It’s just hideous!!! Someone please tell me it gets better soon or I might just go and stick my head in the gas oven now.’

Alternatively:

’It’s an utter breeze! I’m thinking about #3 and #4 already.’

’I’m just loving every minute! #2 is such a joy!’

These sorts of comments seem likely to poss the questioner off too.

There’s something about the word ‘coping.’ Even just, ‘How are you finding it with two?’ would be a bit gentler.

OP posts:

PipFab · 30/03/2025 11:09

They are just making conversation, and yes you are probably blowing this out of proportion due to being sleep-deprived. On the scale of annoying comments, this is pretty low down.

Didimum · 30/03/2025 11:09

It’s just chat. Try to breeze past it.

DuckieDodgyHedgyPiggy · 30/03/2025 11:07

Well, YANBU you're absolutely right with your assessment, I think. Except that it's just polite chit chat, noting that you've had a big change in your life. I don't know what I'd say - would depend on the visitor and my tolerance levels at that moment. I had twins, so had this every bloody time!

StScholastica · 30/03/2025 11:07

Oh for goodness sake.
They are just trying to make conversation.
Not everyone has excellent social skills.
Maybe just show your true feelings and scowl at them then they can see the sort of person you are and avoid in future.

DysmalRadius · 30/03/2025 11:04

People are just asking how you're doing with reference to your recent change in circumstances. It's not a criticism or an expectation that you will be struggling, just an acknowledgement that it can be tough and providing an opportunity to open up.

BabyRuthless · 30/03/2025 11:03

I have asked that before but only because I'm (hoping) to transition from one to two soon. Sadly we were but have miscarried what would have been our second child this year.
I think you are definitely overthinking people's intentions..

TheCurious0range · 30/03/2025 11:01

I think you're over thinking it

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