To find it really irritating when people ask how I’m coping with two?

I had five kids. The number of times people said 'are they all yours?' used to stupify me - like I'd volunteer to take five kids under the age of ten around with me everywhere I went!

But they were trying to empathise and to find some common ground and open a dialogue, not wind me up beyond all mortal understanding. Eventually I got myself a T shirt which said 'Yes, they are all mine', and people would start a conversation based on the T shirt (usually assuming it was referring to my boobs, oddly enough).

People are social. They want to chat, and they have to start somewhere. You're tired and probably a bit run down, I think after you get a few good nights' sleep (ha! I know!) you'll see things differently.

Sorry. I don’t have two kids only one. But I am by your side. I would think ur hormone or lack of sleep made you feel irritating. Yes vent about it, focus on ur babies.

or try to make use of the conversation and gain sth from it. Can the person give you any tips or recommendation of anything ?

What kind of sophisticated small talk do you lead with? It sounds like many of us could do with tips from you.

The OP will be on here one day saying no-one's interested in talking to her and doesn't give a shite about her kids 🙄

When I had my 2nd child all anyone could talk about was how my 7 year old autistic son was coping with the change..and my that fil always saying how my daughter didn't appear to be autistic (until my husband had a go at him, saying how is that meant to make our son feel?!). Fast forward 12 years and I just had child no 4, my 3rd child is another boy who is autistic. Not a single person has asked how I'm finding having 4. I think people just think going from 1 to 2 is a massive change, any more and it's of no consequence

People are just making conversation, passing the time of day..
They might have really shit or dramatic things going on in their own lives and only have brain energy for some platitudes.
Maybe you could share some of the brilliant and original questions you ask people

Grow up. Prople are just being polite and trying to make conversation. They don't give a fuck really!

It’s just social niceties/norms. Are you ND?

People ask questions about common things in life…

Maybe your frothing over nothing looks like you’re not coping?

If they've got a very difficult sleeper or a lunatic toddler then it's normal to wonder. I've asked friends because I wanted to know how they were doing it because I was absolutely dying with just one. It's a compliment so maybe don't all bitter and weird about a bit of small talk?

You just sound really irritable and determined to get riled by very minor things.

Dear me. I’m sure if nobody had checked in you wouldn’t be happy! I am guilty of asking this question of my friend who has not long had her third. I didn’t consider for a minute that it would be offensive. I’ll have to ask her. And it was a genuine question from my end! I was asking if she was coping and was ok. God knows post partum isn’t easy.

I've been there when I had three under five, people would stop me to point out I've got my hands full. Dependent on which day/mood they caught me in I either took it as nice to have the acknowledgement that it's bloody hard work or an unwanted reminder of how many young kids I had to look after!
Either way, it always seemed to come from a kind place, and when I see a parent in a similar place these days I tend to give them a little knowing smile.

And I bet if no one spoke to you you'd be whining how isolated you are and that nobody cares about your bubz

I think you’re vastly overestimating how interested people are in your life OP. People’s reasons for asking these questions are to do with them, not you.

I am beginning to think that there really is fuck all that doesn't in some way shape or form trigger posters on here

I don’t know where you’re going to get these types of questions 🤣

Our elderly neighbour was saying just yesterday how she’s ‘sad’ I’ve not had another baby and that now it’s springtime it’s the perfect time to try 😅 I just laughed it off, what else can you do! She’s only wanting a chat.

Also I nanny toddler twins and if I had a pound for every time some random comments ‘you’ve got your hands full!’ well I wouldn’t be half as worried about money as I am. I just chuckle and say ‘yeah you could say that!’ it’s just a social exchange, no harm done.

You’re tired. People say things. Smile and move on.

I’m surprised anyone dares open their mouths at all anymore 🤷‍♂️

People are just asking how things are in your current situation, it’s not that deep. Maybe avoid everyone from now on then you can start complaining that you don’t have a village.

People ask because they know it's far more difficult that one.

They are being empathic and trying to ne friendly.

They'll soon stop asking given your attitude so you won't have to worry about it much longer.

I think it’s actually asked from a position of empathy. So many of us have struggled in a similar position to the one you are in right now. Asking how your coping is a way of telling you they know it’s hard and you have their sympathy, and they’re willing to listen if you want a chance to off load about it. It’s just an experience so many of us have shared so asking about it is an acknowledgement of your situation and an expression of solidarity. Totally understandable to be a bit sensitive about it when you’re massively sleep deprived though. I went slightly insane when mine were small.

The irritating small talk never stops.

Maybe you've just missed your calling? Eg, the Carmelite nuns.

It’s just inane chitchat.