Sister leaving us out

From unfortunate experience you will get used to this my mom is like this with my sister to the degree my mother used to take my daughter for the afternoon (to "give me a break") and have these gatherings with MY daughter I was never invited my sister was my aunt was cross with ME about me never attending and was mortified when she discovered I wasn't invited I knew nothing about it so i got one pity invite told I was too much trouble and too difficult (I told my daughter off for misbehaving and I bought my own food because I have a food intolerance) she never invited me again and stopped the gatherings blaming me for it

My mom gets a bunch of flowers delivered by courier now but she won't post it on Facebook unless my sister had bought her something 🤷‍♀️ so I'm guessing I will get a message soon from my aunt about forgetting mothers day I spent loads on her flowers next year I'm sending a card

You've had some clueless and nasty replies, OP. I'm sorry. It does sound miserable of your sister, and of your parents. They, especially your mum, could have said 'let's include Lemon as it's Mother's Day'.

If you have difficult family dynamics there's little to be gained by posting on AIBU about it. Mainly bored people waiting to have a go.

Take this as an indicator to not provide so much support for your sister. Focus on creating more positive connections for yourself.

Yes, I'm not sure why you're focusing on being angry with you sister today, rather than your mother.

I think it would have been nice of your sister to include you for Mothers Day.
From what you say it sounds as though her drama calls the shots, which is a shame. Very frustrating for you to see and feel sidelined by.

I don't give a toss about Mothers Day really but I think I'd be hurt by this.

The majority of replies here are just unkind. My sis and I would always ask/check if the other one had plans and everyone would automatically be invited if they could come, and we’re not local. If my sis were a single mum I would make sure she was appreciated today as well as my mum and would make sure she wasn’t left out. If I were your mum and had two grown up daughters I would make sure things were fair before agreeing to plans. It’s not unreasonable to feel hurt by this. I hope you get out for a nice day with your LO and can forget about it. Won’t be long until you’re getting homemade cards and ‘breakfast’ in bed.

They sound a bit toxic and enmeshed in each others lives. Fuck them. Go and have a lovely beach walk with your son and celebrate being his mum. Treat yourself with whatever you fancy/can afford. A bunch of daffodils, a new book for later, a takeaway so you don't have to cook. The day is yours to do as you please. Happy mother's day 💐

And I get that too. It feels like you’ve been blindsided. I would ask them both did they not think to invite you along?

OP, I totally get it! I’d be upset too.
EVERYONE on here would feel the same, despite not saying it. It’s a lack of consideration for your feelings. She’s your mum too. Totally understand.

Then you are being unreasonable to expect someone you think is selfish and not nice to include you.

There's nothing wrong with adult siblings taking turns to do something special for mothers day. Plenty of families don't have group mothers days.

Totally disagree with the majority of replies here. Perhaps other people’s family dynamics are strange but my siblings would always be invited to celebrate mum’s birthday, Mother’s Day etc together. If someone has multiple children it’s ridiculous and selfish to expect to monopolise a special day for a parent and potentially expect that parent to either not see their other children or do multiple outings in one day.

Personally I think Mother’s Day is nonsense and don’t put any importance on it but if your family does then I think it’s awful that you’ve been left out like that.

Can't you see it as your mum does a lot for your sister and she's taking her out on Mother's Day as a treat and thank you for her help?

You say you don't make a fuss, but you are clearly jealous that your sister has a closer relationship with your mother because she does make the effort.

Your child is too young to so something for you, why haven't you arranged something special for you both to do? Single mums everywhere with young kids know they need to make the effort if they want a special Mother's Day.

It's the OPs mother as well....and being Mother's Day, they should have both arranged it or been invited.

Dsis has 364 other days of the year to see their mother on her own

God I hate it when everyone assumes then lays into OP.

Its her Mum too and it should be a family get together if there are siblings all local.

However, OP you need to stope being a doormat and stand up for yourself and make a bit of fuss when you are pushed out.

I get you regarding not even being considered though - I am the eldest of 6 and was often left out of things when my P were alive. But we can't take offense unless you get stuck in etc.

Too late now for MD but there is always Easter

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to think your sister would include you so your mum could see both her daughters and grandchildren on Mother’s Day, especially as you’re on your own. I think it’s pretty mean to exclude you actually. If it was me, I’d start pushing back with both of them. Ask for more help from your mum if you need it with childcare and don’t be the people pleaser all the time. Don’t roll over and let your sister dominate!

It sounds like your mother is the problem not your sister given your update.

You're not her mother. You can do something with your DS and DM another time. It doesnt have to be today.

You also can't claim rights to a place you've made arrangements to go to previously.

Oh right - just seen the backstory!!

I don’t understand why you haven’t arranged to see your Mum yourself. That would give you something to do on Mother’s Day! Are SIL/BIL expected to pick up the tab? Would you be covering yourself and half the DPs bill’? Do you have form for joining in and not contributing? Maybe they just wanted to talk to the DPs by themselves? Maybe it was just an oversight.

I am guessing there's a back story and the sister is the one who always takes the initiative and organises everything.

The OP has the expectation she would also be invited but didn't initiate anything for her mother.

Sister is perfectly fair and within rights to invite mother without sister. It's weird to expect to be invited as the default.

You knew it was Mother’s Day so did you have a conversation anytime in the last few weeks with your sister where you said ‘hey do you have any plans for M day?, oh breakfast, that sounds nice would you mind if me and DD came too?’