Sister leaving us out

Jesus. You might find this thread useful. The second post summarises the type of family dynamic you might be dealing with:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5272966-february-2025-well-we-took-you-to-stately-homes

From your updates, your sister is unreasonable and your mum is enabling it.

I would suggest you extricate yourself from the dynamic and leave them to get on with it. Doesn't stop you seeing either of them, but don't allow yourself to get caught up in it.

I'm sorry to hear that. You mum and your DSis both sound awful. I'd stop trying to have a relationship with both of them. What is your dad like? Do you have a good relationship with him?

Ok having read your other posts I think your DM should have said something given you are a single parent with a young DC. Your DSis also should have included you if you don’t have form for expecting her to pay for you.

Presumably she is treating her mum. Do you think she should treat you too?

It was thoughtless of your sister and mum to leave you out when you're a single mum on Mother's Day. Not nice of your mum to not commit to doing something with you too, I'm sure she could have managed to fit in a walk on the beach with you and your DC. I hope you've managed to have an okay day 💕

Actually that's a really shit response from your mum.

I would have gone and had a lovely day out with just you and your DS and completely ignored your mum. Even if she didn't want to eat again, the beach walk was a lovely idea.

It was also rather rude of your sister not to consult you.

It sounds like you don't even like your sister very much so would you really want to go for breakfast with her?

Take this as face value that she has done something nice for your mum to thank her for all that your mum does for her

Have a lovely day with your son and celebrate with your mum another day

And if you read my post, I said OP could prepare better for next year - perhaps she should have asked earlier! Perhaps both dsis should have communicated better.

Why do siblings have to do everything together? What about Dmums birthday? What about Christmas, since you mentioned it? Who has Dmum for Christmas? Etc etc.

Or the flip side, OP could ask... "it's Mother's Day soon, I want to treat DMum to a nice lunch. Would you like to join us?"

Or even better: "hey sis, can your DP take your kids and my kid for the afternoon on Mother's Day so you and me can take Mum out together without the kids? A mother's day treat for all of us! Pleeeeease!"

If you read the OP she did plan but her sister got there first.

Maybe you think she should have forward planned at Christmas? My point was there is one mother on one day. Would sharing have been that hard?

And OP has 364 days to better prepare a gift for next year's Mother's day, also. And 364 days to communicate better their expectations to be involved if ever DSis has the audacity to treat their mother again.

🙄

Do you have form for being a small-minded prick on AIBU?

I'd be upset too.
I can't imagine treating my 2 dc differently.
Spoil yourself op and just think fuck them.

Can you not read op's comments?
Something wrong with your phone?

Honestly I think you’re over thinking this. Your sister is treating her mom for Mother’s Day. It sounds like she got in before you so you mom had prior plans when you asked to meet up. Maybe it’s the back story but I don’t think anyone here has been unreasonable .

Do you have form for not paying your fair share of the bill when you go out together or is your child badly behaved?

OP's much earlier explanation makes your post redundant:

"I did invite her out for chips and a beach walk and she said she didn't know as she had already been invited to breakfast."

Phone and ask DM over for pancakes for lunch.
Pick her up.

Help your son make them for you three.
Teach your child how to make a really good pot of tea.
Set the table, including some flowers from the garden, and present your mother with a card.

Plan to play a card game or board game or watch a funny movie together.

I don't see how you can't improve your Mothers' Day.
Your DS was a bit thoughtless but you live close by so do your own thing.

@LemonDuck223 Perhaps I have displaced anger because my mum sees Dsis every single day. She helps with her kids etc. Where as I'm a single parent and receive no help and hardly see DM even though we don't live far apart. I understand now. she is the golden child so whatever she wants to do will always take priority with your mum. sorry. xx

Hi OP. I understand. We're a close family and tend to acknowledge most "events" together. On mother's day, I typically ask my sister what she's thinking before arranging with my mum then we come up with a plan. Sometimes she does things with her husband and pops into my mum after and sometimes we agree to go out together. It's perfectly fine for your sister to see your mum alone but I think when that's not the usual dynamic and you're generally quite a close family, I can understand why it'd be upsetting to be left out when it's just the two of you. I'd find it difficult if I asked my mum or sister what they wanted to do only to be told we're doing X together. You and your son should do something lovely and enjoy your day together.

Some of the responses are nasty. Your sister seems to enjoy having the power to control your mother and hurting you in the process. Unless your mother can challenge her this will continue.
Rise above it and go out with your son and enjoy yourselves. Think about your relationships with family going forward. Do what is less stressful for you and your son. He will realise sooner rather than later that his cousins are treated differently to him. Protect him from that. Happy Mother's Day 💐