To think that people pretend not to understand obesity

I lost 6 stone on Mounjaro, few side effects on the higher doses but good luck on your journey.

YABU for thinking they're pretending not to understand. In most cases when people say things on the topic that are completely wrong, there's no pretence. They genuinely do not get it, and either can't or don't want to look past their cultural baggage over weight in order to not be full of shit on the issue. We've had examples on this thread.

The problem is that on loads of "how much do you earn threads" lots of people do seem to have that attitude!

I guess there might be a crossover between those people and the ones here who over-simplify, and think it's just will power and eating sensibly....

I'm not going to disagree with anything you say.

However, the food stuffs that poster describes are designed to fool our body's own "I'm full" signals.

Yes, there are medical conditions that cause this but how many of the people whose bodies don't recognise "I'm full" signals don't because the foods they are eating don't trigger them?

Imagine if a bunch of CEOs told the rest of us that because they work hard and make sacrifices to earn their seven-figure salaries, pretty much everyone else has the same capability and we're all lazy/simply not trying hard enough.

You have quoted me (fine) but not included what I was responding to.

The comment was "very few people over 30 can eat what they like, do no exercise and stay slim."

and I said But keeping an eye on what you eat (I don't mean restricting or being obsessed, just putting good food into your body) and exercising shouldn't take mighty will power, these things should be the norm.

You are saying "many people it's not the case", which I don't disagree with. I do disagree with "very few people over 30.....".

I think some people are genuinely ignorant about the psychological side of obesity, ie the food addiction. For some people it's just an 'addiction' (or compulsion) to eat and the pleasure it gives them (food does hit pleasure centres in the brain apparently).

On the flip side, and not to humble brag in anyway, I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum where I can get addicted to dieting and the control of being underweight. It's still a form of addiction.

People need to stop judging peoples' weight, whether overweight or underweight, in any case.

Good luck with your weight loss journey. Remember health is the most important thing!

PS - @Mezzoprezzo your analogy to eczema is great. I have eczema too - lucky me! You know it didn't help when people told me to just stop scratching; like it doesn't help when people tell me to just eat less.

Also - the blood test I did before starting mounjaro shows my thyroid function is only a smidge above the lowest point in the normal range. Which probably explains why when I tried a traditional diet of "eat less move more" eating less than 1000 calories a day for a month lost me less than 2lbs.

You're not unreasonable - but the fact is, that people who don't struggle with their weight do not understand.

Gaining a bit of weight and then being able to get rid of it fairly quickly and easily is not the same as struggling your entire adult life, whatever the reason might be.

Case in point: this comment by @rosemarble on p.1:
But keeping an eye on what you eat (I don't mean restricting or being obsessed, just putting good food into your body) and exercising shouldn't take mighty will power, these things should be the norm.

Yes, it should be the norm. But for many people, it simply isn't the case. I'm taking mounjaro (and paying for it) and it has been so so helpful. I am no longer thinking about food obsessively. I'm no longer thrown into depression because this week I didn't lose. I'm not having to radically alter my diet to fit in with some fad, I'm just eating a lot less because food isn't dominating my thoughts.

Neither my brother nor my sister are like me. The rest of my family is relatively slim. But I am fat, very fat, and have been the majority of my adult life. And the fatter I get, the worse I feel, the more I use food to cheer myself up. Which yes, I know is wrong, but people seem to be ok to accept that alcoholics have an illness and should be shown compassion but definitely not the Fat!

I don't think most people would find it workable to exercise a level of "self-discipline" equivalent to locking themselves in a room for the rest of their lives, and I don't think it's reasonable to ask that when there is a medication available that means you don't have to.

You know what, OP? I feel quite excited for you! You're going to feel so much better and when you feel good in yourself, the world becomes your oyster. I wish you all the best.

I think it’s when people in the same environment end up different sizes you realise how much there is that comes into play besides diet and lifestyle. It’s something you see in boarding schools - particularly prep level where they all get the exact same PE and games routine as well as school-regulated amounts of food.

But some people like to imagine it’s all down to superior self-management. Until you’ve seen it, you can’t see it I guess.

@WiddlinDiddlin My brother was the same. I was stick thin, he was very overweight from about 6 to 13. We were both active. He was ridiculously active, in fact. He will say that he was overfed but I was there. He wasn't. Neither of us was. Pretty healthy diet as well, all home-cooked food, plenty of veg.

But also where is the responsibility, just dont scratch for every itch? Yes you're hungry and your brain is telling you to eat but as an adult just dont eat, ignore it, distract yourself. Hunger is a temporary discomfort that's it, after a week or two your body will adjust and you genuinely wont feel that hunger anymore.

I dont eat everytime my brain was hungry or fancied some food and that's the bit that people struggle with. Just have some discipline and willpower. I know I come off so nasty here and I'm overweight myself and have been obese in the past but for the vast vast majority of people they eat to much and have no self respect or discipline (that may stem from various issues) but if those people were locked away in a room and delivered healthy meals and portions size they would 100% lose weight.

Everything else is an excuse, cant cook, look up recipes, weigh food, count macros, be accountable.

If it were as simple as calories in/calories out then explain why as a child in the 80s and a very active child at that, I was overweight at 6 years old?

My sister, 18 months younger, was basically a stick insect, my nickname was 'Chunky'...

Same diet - three meals a day, snacks occasionally but we're talking a mini mars bar at the top of Snowdon, a chunk of Kendal Mint Cake on Helvelyn, a mini Snickers down a cave... not the endless snacking kids do today.

The rest of the time it was home made normal food, normal portions though there was the obsession with clearing your plate and a lot of food stress over things I would not eat (meat, fish, things with a very distinctive texture).

We were very active, walked a lot in the week, even more at weekends, parents members of various caving/climbing/walking clubs - canoeing, swimming, caving, hillwalking, rock climbing, horse riding, skiing... We were joining in on those activities as soon as we could, I was down my first cave at 2, skiing at 4.

Despite endless diets, increasing the exercise, and absolutely not sneaking food as there was no food to sneak, I continued to gain weight, and my sister did not.

Food is engineered to make people overeat. I notice the minute I eat anything processed, even bread, my hunger goes crazy and I just want to more. Eating intuitively does not work for me. I have to track calories/macros and keep a very close eye on my weight and body composition.

Obesity is a hugely complex problem and I support the use of weight loss injections to give people the head space to reset their relationship with food. Once people get that start they can then turn to exercise and changing their lifestyle. It’s not always effective to try and change lots of things at once.

You seriously think eating less doesn't lead to weight loss?

I say this with a bmi that just tipped over into obese in january.

I decided to do something about it. 4kg down since january and yes all I have done is eat less. A lot less. No I'm not a 20 something where it's easy to do it either.

I think delusion about how much you're eating also plays a part.

I did think about weightloss injections but every study done says the weight in regained once you stop.

Ah, because you've managed it, that means that everyone is the same.

Newsflash, bodies behave differently. Plenty of responses on this thread explaining examples of this.

Ignore it if you want. Doesn't change the fact. Just proves the OP's point.

I've seen prepped soup packs that you make in advance and freeze. So you're putting the time in somewhere. There isn't really any way to avoid putting time in if you cook from scratch. I've been doing it all my life and you're either sourcing recipes, sourcing ingredients, doing the shopping, doing the prep, or cooking. Thinking about it all the time. I'm sitting here doing a shopping list for later and it's a monumental faff - worth it in the end but there is time being spent, ykwim.

@Mumtumtasticit really sounds like you’ve been through it and I totally understand - I’ve also suffered with depression and I’d say that’s the worst part of it for me. If you ever want to chat, send me a PM. The thyroid affects most things in our body so it has a lot to answer for and no wonder we feel so ill x

Lots of interesting observations in this post and the one before.

Neither could I. I make a nice veg soup but it takes a while to prep and meld the flavours.

It's so true. People love to feel in control. That the good things in their lives are down to their own good judgement and self discipline. Whereas we're walking sacks of hormonal chaos and if one of those switches is set wrong or goes wrong then we falter. All of this in combination with eating half decently and exercising - it's not like it doesn't matter at all (although for some people, it doesn't seem to).
There was a book out a few years ago called Gut, about the gut microbiomes. A bit of it was devoted to the interaction between the gut microbiome and expressions of willpower. I'm not saying I believe it, this is a pop science book likely over interpreting emerging data. But imagine telling that person who prides themselves on the ease with which they choose good food...that it might all be down to whichever bacteria they have in their gut. They'd implode.

I think sometimes it's easier for some people to (want to) believe that obese people are obese because they eat the wrong food/eat too much/eat upfs/ are lazy ....because assuming they are fully in control, somehow persuades the other person that they themselves couldn't get like that because they would simply be more disciplined.
Because if it's a combination of things, some (possibly not all) are beyond a person's control then it could happen to you regardless of how much you tried to reverse it. And that's probably more uncomfortable. and it also makes naturally thinner people feel superior

When I read what a lot of people eat in a day and what their calorie restrictions are and that they can't lose weight, I have come to the conclusion that the main reason I'm not overweight is luck.