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To think that people pretend not to understand obesity

387 replies

Mezzoprezzo · 30/03/2025 08:49

After 30 plus years of failed diets I've recently started on mounjaro. Because I've placed an order and spent weeks searching stuff about weight loss medication, my Facebook feed is full of adverts from suppliers, many of which use vlogs from real clients who have lost weight. And the vast majority of comments are along the lines of, couldn't you just eat less, haven't you heard of exercise, why not just stop eating crap etc. Surely people are faking ignorance to have the fun of fat bashing. Obesity is rife! Everyone knows someone who struggles with their weight and who talks openly about it. I and every other obese person I know have tried every diet under the sun. Walk into any gym and you'll see a fair number of larger people trying bloody hard. And I know someone's going to reply to this post by talking about an obese friend who they once saw eating an entire packet of biscuits. Well numerous times I've given in to the overwhelming urge to do that too. And hated myself afterwards. It's part of the horrible condition. People have got eyes and ears and they seriously know full bloody well how hard obese people try to lose weight. They just pretend not to so they can have the fun of hating.

OP posts:
Cucy · 30/03/2025 10:41

NorthernGirl1981 · 30/03/2025 10:35

Another example of money widening the health gap between the rich and the poor.

Yep and obesity affects poor people more than it does the rich.

Cucy · 30/03/2025 10:40

Obesity is a disease.

We wouldn’t tell someone with asthma to just breathe properly, which is so simple.

It’s fine to recommend stopping smoking or increasing exercise to help with the asthma symptoms but you wouldn’t tell an asthmatic to just simply breathe in and out and then you wouldn’t be asthmatic.

There is more judgment around obese people than there are alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers, shopping addicts etc.

Our bodies need to eat to survive and we are programmed to store food as fat. So it’s not as simple as just reducing food intake.

I think the injections sound incredible but I’ve read a lot of posts about people planning to stay on them long term, which I don’t think is sustainable or possible (we know that the supply of medicines can fluctuate).

I think they should be used as tool to get help you regain control over your body and mind, get the weight down so exercise is easier and reset the way you eat.

rosemarble · 30/03/2025 10:36

TryingMJ · 30/03/2025 10:27

People aren’t saying that exercise doesn’t help with depression, just like people know that eating less will help to lose weight. Just knowing these things to be true isn’t enough for many people to actually be able to do it though. In the throes of depression, just going out for a walk around the block feels like too much, similarly at the peak of obesity skipping one chocolate bar isn’t going to immediately lose 5 stone so “might as well eat and enjoy it…” and so the mentality goes. It’s hard to break the cycle.

I want to be clear, I am NOT talking about someone being deep in depression, that’s not what I said.

NorthernGirl1981 · 30/03/2025 10:35

Locutus2000 · 30/03/2025 10:32

private prescriptions are not 'no questions asked'

Not entirely, but claiming your BMI is <30 and sending a couple of photos is far from rigorous.

As always if you have the money you can access far more treatments.

Another example of money widening the health gap between the rich and the poor.

Winifredtabago · 30/03/2025 10:34

MyMachine · 30/03/2025 10:24

Hmm, I have no skin in this particular game having been slender all my life, but I think it's somewhat disingenuous to compare nicotine or alcohol addiction to food addiction.

You know how difficult it was to give up smoking, but the ultimate solution was to not smoke. A person can't not eat, so a person with a compulsion to overeat is faced with their addiction multiple times a day. You can't avoid food as you can with alcohol or nicotine, so I imagine it's a much tougher nut to crack.

I agree somewhat with your point but there is plenty food out there which is healthy. And they can still have the willpower to reduce their portion sizes. A lot of people gave up smoking when society's view of smoking changed (eg not being allowed to smoke indoors in public) and people realised it was so bad for you. It forced the change in people. That's why we have to be careful about body positivity when obese. Do we want to go down the route of telling people it's fine to be obese. Given the known health implications.

Locutus2000 · 30/03/2025 10:32

NorthernGirl1981 · 30/03/2025 09:02

Who is eligible for MJ on the NHS? Do you have to be a certain weight/BMI?

And are people who don’t fit the NHS criteria able to buy it with no questions asked?

private prescriptions are not 'no questions asked'

Not entirely, but claiming your BMI is <30 and sending a couple of photos is far from rigorous.

As always if you have the money you can access far more treatments.

NorthernGirl1981 · 30/03/2025 10:28

cardibach · 30/03/2025 10:19

The difference is that with smoking you can completely stop. With eating you cant. It’s different. How many ex smokers say they’d be back to 20 a day if they had just one? Now think about that for meals.

I understand that people can’t just stop eating, but they can just stop eating sugary and/or fatty food can’t they?

They are still in control of what food they choose to eat?

Or do people on MJ still make poor food choices, or eat that kind of food because they're addicted to it, but they just
eat less of it because their appetite is suppressed? And so as they eat less of it their addiction eases?

I’m just interested in how MJ addresses the addiction or psychological side of obesity? As surely if that’s not addressed then the person will stall want/need to eat the type of food they say they’re addicted to whether they’re on MJ or not?

Winifredtabago · 30/03/2025 10:28

cardibach · 30/03/2025 10:22

Read what you replied t9 again. Yes, obviously overweight people are eating too much. It’s not because they are lazy fuckers with no willpower though (usually). It’s a chemical and emotional addiction.

I would say I have a chemical and emotional connection to food. Plenty of other factors come into it also.

TryingMJ · 30/03/2025 10:27

rosemarble · 30/03/2025 10:12

Well exercise really can help with depression. It’s often the first thing a good GP will ask about when someone presents with low mood. Rather than reach for the ADs they may suggest a programme of exercise and to then review in a week or two.
Not all obese people have deep seated psychological issues or an addiction or have tried all the other weight loss methods, and could be supported in ways other than injections.

People aren’t saying that exercise doesn’t help with depression, just like people know that eating less will help to lose weight. Just knowing these things to be true isn’t enough for many people to actually be able to do it though. In the throes of depression, just going out for a walk around the block feels like too much, similarly at the peak of obesity skipping one chocolate bar isn’t going to immediately lose 5 stone so “might as well eat and enjoy it…” and so the mentality goes. It’s hard to break the cycle.

Randomer27 · 30/03/2025 10:26

Well numerous times I've given in to the overwhelming urge to do that too. And hated myself afterwards.

The problem with this is that for a lot of people the hatred (or bad feelings) come beforehand, and then become the displacement feeling. As is dieting, a displacement activity or “punishment” for not being who/what you want to be.

Of course it is super easy to solve other people’s problems, but if you ask yourself why do you overeat, what’s that about? You will know that the answer is not about food.
BTW, there’s no need to answer that to anyone here.
If you deal with the root cause then surprisingly quickly you will find your eating habits change, because you aren’t trying to hold back the tide.

MyMachine · 30/03/2025 10:24

MesmerisingMuon · 30/03/2025 09:31

Which is why she is doing it SLOWLY over a year to gradually reduce the portion size rather than cutting them to a normal size straight away.

It is an addiction but there is always still a choice. Some people are just not good at helping themselves.

Either you are over eating or genuinely dieting. Diets do work. They fail because people cannot stick to them due to food addiction.

It's like any addiction. It takes effort to beat them. Mine was with nicotine. I had to WANT to stop to be successful and would make excuses why I needed another. I've had that battle with my head and won. Eventually.

When you WANT to do something you will.

Hmm, I have no skin in this particular game having been slender all my life, but I think it's somewhat disingenuous to compare nicotine or alcohol addiction to food addiction.

You know how difficult it was to give up smoking, but the ultimate solution was to not smoke. A person can't not eat, so a person with a compulsion to overeat is faced with their addiction multiple times a day. You can't avoid food as you can with alcohol or nicotine, so I imagine it's a much tougher nut to crack.

OddBoots · 30/03/2025 10:24

Losing weight feels a bit like stretching elastic, if you only have to stretch it a bit then it takes work but having to stretch it a lot then it's more work and each of us has a different snapping point. Out biology fights to keep us at the biggest we have been, making that stretch even harder.

We only know how it feels like for us, we don't know how that stretch feels for anyone else.

cardibach · 30/03/2025 10:22

Winifredtabago · 30/03/2025 09:42

Yes I can see it must be horrible for people who have some sort of medical reason for not being able to lose weight or gain weight too quickly. The problem is the vast majority of overweight people are like that due to the food they eat, the amount of food they eat or the lack of movement.

Read what you replied t9 again. Yes, obviously overweight people are eating too much. It’s not because they are lazy fuckers with no willpower though (usually). It’s a chemical and emotional addiction.

cardibach · 30/03/2025 10:19

MesmerisingMuon · 30/03/2025 09:31

Which is why she is doing it SLOWLY over a year to gradually reduce the portion size rather than cutting them to a normal size straight away.

It is an addiction but there is always still a choice. Some people are just not good at helping themselves.

Either you are over eating or genuinely dieting. Diets do work. They fail because people cannot stick to them due to food addiction.

It's like any addiction. It takes effort to beat them. Mine was with nicotine. I had to WANT to stop to be successful and would make excuses why I needed another. I've had that battle with my head and won. Eventually.

When you WANT to do something you will.

The difference is that with smoking you can completely stop. With eating you cant. It’s different. How many ex smokers say they’d be back to 20 a day if they had just one? Now think about that for meals.

femininomenon · 30/03/2025 10:14

NorthernGirl1981 · 30/03/2025 09:02

Who is eligible for MJ on the NHS? Do you have to be a certain weight/BMI?

And are people who don’t fit the NHS criteria able to buy it with no questions asked?

A very small amount of people are able to get it on the NHS (purely for weight loss, different if it’s being used to treat diabetes), and those that do have been in the weight loss ‘tier system’ for years most likely.

The vast majority of people are buying privately, there’s in depth questionnaires and photos required with lots of prescribers also moving towards wanting video calls as well.

cardibach · 30/03/2025 10:14

Summer2025 · 30/03/2025 08:55

I had an obese friend who did tell me BMI was not indicative at all and fit men here prefer bigger girls (so they have something to hold onto) so she likes being large. I do think some people don't mind being large which is up to them. I have seen her consume breakfast, then mcdonalds chicken nuggets, Greg's sausage roll and a full packed lunch of noodles all in one sitting, then go onto to eat a full dinner to maintain her weight. She often pats her stomach in satisfaction.

Edited

Well done for not reading the OP and coming on to do exactly what it said someone would do. In all likelihood she says that because it helps her not hate herself (and no doubt doesn’t really believe it). And goodness me! How horrible that she should ‘pat her stomach’ after eating. Never seen a thin person do that.
maybe your friend knows you judge her so is trying to divert you by telling you she likes it.

rosemarble · 30/03/2025 10:12

Togglebullets · 30/03/2025 10:01

I don't think they're pretending. I think if you've never struggled with your weight then you're not going to understand obesity. It must seem such an easy solution - just eat less!
It's a bit like people who've never struggled with their mental health telling people who are depressed to go for a walk.

Well exercise really can help with depression. It’s often the first thing a good GP will ask about when someone presents with low mood. Rather than reach for the ADs they may suggest a programme of exercise and to then review in a week or two.
Not all obese people have deep seated psychological issues or an addiction or have tried all the other weight loss methods, and could be supported in ways other than injections.

fingertraps · 30/03/2025 10:11

I had a problem gambling addiction and managed to give it up with only one relapse. I also quit smoking after multiple attempts.

Losing weight is harder than those things ever were.

Winifredtabago · 30/03/2025 10:10

WateryBottle · 30/03/2025 10:07

Sorry but you don’t get it at all. Saying obese people just don’t want it badly enough or they would lose weight is ignorant and offensive.

I guess it's just that there are different categories of obese people. There are those who are too lazy or chose to eat the wrong things for no other reason than they prefer it.

WateryBottle · 30/03/2025 10:07

MesmerisingMuon · 30/03/2025 09:31

Which is why she is doing it SLOWLY over a year to gradually reduce the portion size rather than cutting them to a normal size straight away.

It is an addiction but there is always still a choice. Some people are just not good at helping themselves.

Either you are over eating or genuinely dieting. Diets do work. They fail because people cannot stick to them due to food addiction.

It's like any addiction. It takes effort to beat them. Mine was with nicotine. I had to WANT to stop to be successful and would make excuses why I needed another. I've had that battle with my head and won. Eventually.

When you WANT to do something you will.

Sorry but you don’t get it at all. Saying obese people just don’t want it badly enough or they would lose weight is ignorant and offensive.

rosemarble · 30/03/2025 10:05

ClawsandEffect · 30/03/2025 09:43

Obesity is so multi faceted, there is no one fix.

Yes of course, how much and what we eat is a key factor. And exercise plays almost no role at all in weight loss. It's great for health of course. But to lose weight? No.

But so are hormones. Any woman in or past the menopause will tell you, they can practically fast and the weight won't come off. I've experienced this. With GP support.

Hormones change for a period after weight loss surgery (got this from the horses mouth, from one of the UK's leading weight loss surgeons) and this is what makes weight loss surgery work. It's also why the effect of the surgery wears off after a few months, despite still having a hugely reduced stomach size.

Insulin resistance. Makes losing weight very very hard, regardless of calorie intake. Another reason that WLI work. Because they're designed for diabetics. It isn't just about the appetite suppression.

When losing weight, the body is designed to try to cling onto the weight. Losing just 3 percent of your body weight can result in a 17 percent slowdown in your
metabolism – a body-wide starvation response that blasts you with hunger hormones and drops your internal temperature until you rise back to your highest weight.

So no one is saying that eating junk food, drinking fizzy drinks loaded with sugar, high fat, high fat and crappy food isn't too blame. But it isn't the whole picture. ~

And people that have never been obese aren't experts. All this calories in, calories out crap is just that.

If you talk to a REAL expert, they know this.

Edited

Where has the cut and paste option gone!!!

re hormones. It’s simply not true that every woman around or post menopause needs to fast lose weight.

wherearemypastnames · 30/03/2025 10:04

Yet people who are depressed abs nevertheless go for walks get better quicker than those who don’t and avoid relapses more

there are people who take responsibility for themselves and those that won’t

FortyElephants · 30/03/2025 10:03

NorthernGirl1981 · 30/03/2025 09:28

So do people with this problem have to stay on MJ for life because if they stop the food addiction will begin again?

Maybe

Togglebullets · 30/03/2025 10:01

I don't think they're pretending. I think if you've never struggled with your weight then you're not going to understand obesity. It must seem such an easy solution - just eat less!
It's a bit like people who've never struggled with their mental health telling people who are depressed to go for a walk.

Winifredtabago · 30/03/2025 09:57

Cunningfungus · 30/03/2025 09:50

Again - addictive foods are made that way - to trigger the pleasure pathways in the brain - you don’t need a “medical condition” you just need a brain that is more susceptible to reacting strongly to these substances either through genetics or just the way your brain is/biological variations.

So yes it is partly the food they eat (which is designed to be addictive) and partly how their body metabolises and stores food - and it is way more complex than calories in/calories out.

Here is just one short quote which might help people understand why obesity is very complex - people can google “NAD” to understand better if they want to help the obesity epidemic rather than just victim blame.

“NAD+ plays a crucial role in metabolism and energy production, and its levels are often reduced in obesity, potentially contributing to metabolic dysfunction and insulin resistance. Boosting NAD+ through precursors like nicotinamide riboside (NR) or nicotinamide mononucleotide (NMN) may help improve metabolic health and combat obesity.”

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37761000/#:~:text=Adipose%20tissue%20plays%20a%20key,;%20sirtuin;%20type%202%20diabetes.

Yea addictive foods work that way and they are everywhere in life today unfortunately. It is hard filling up on say vegetables when there are so many other more tasty options. Problem is they dont actually fill you up and you just crave more.