Page 9 | Accused of shoplifting after mistake. Should I complain?

johnd2 · 30/03/2025 07:56

HelenWheels · 30/03/2025 07:53

ds was in the trolley holding the loo paper was the first time i stole from supermarket, unwittingly
also a dolly being held by dd in woolies
a bottle of baby oil put under the pram by dd, the woman in boots was quite disbelieving of my innocence

ds eating a tomato in tesco, checkout operator insisted on charging me

i do feel your mistake was to not attempt to use a basket, it is possible to hold a basket while pushing a pram, and you put it in a bag, looks dodgy to me too
obviously the security guard was over enthusiastic which is your complaint

Edited

Technically eating food in a supermarket that even if you intend to pay for later is theft, as you are treating it as your own when it's not.
(It's not like a restaurant where you are supposed to eat and then pay.)

HelenWheels · 30/03/2025 07:53

ds was in the trolley holding the loo paper was the first time i stole from supermarket, unwittingly
also a dolly being held by dd in woolies
a bottle of baby oil put under the pram by dd, the woman in boots was quite disbelieving of my innocence

ds eating a tomato in tesco, checkout operator insisted on charging me

i do feel your mistake was to not attempt to use a basket, it is possible to hold a basket while pushing a pram, and you put it in a bag, looks dodgy to me too
obviously the security guard was over enthusiastic which is your complaint

Thirteenblackcat · 30/03/2025 07:49

He sounds horrid. This was obviously a genuine mistake, and he touched your property without permission.

they will have cameras at the checkouts, I’d complain given the heavy handedness of his manner

Viviennemary · 30/03/2025 07:48

outofofficeagain · 30/03/2025 02:29

But you were shoplifting.

I know it was a mistake and we’ve all
done something similar, but it’s difficult to see what you would complain about.

Shoplifting is rife at the moment - I imagine stores are just sick of it.

Quite. The shop had no way of knowing if this was deliberate or a mistake. However, common sense should have pointed towards it being a mistake because milk would be quite a cheap item and hardly worth stealling and quite bulky. But it really was quite unwise to put it into a carrier bag. Don't do that again.

Icanhearabee · 30/03/2025 07:48

Gremlins101 · 30/03/2025 07:41

This could have happened to me a few times over the past few sleep deprived buggy years, i was very lucky it didn't. He sounds very aggressive. What a big shot, saving the world against accidental milk thieves.

Actually I'd probably go back and shop there forever more and stare him out with crazy eyes when leaving the shop every time until he started having nightmares about me.

Someone recently posted on my Facebook page about a security guard who followed him all around the supermarket and wouldn’t leave him alone. The man had enough of it in the end and asked the guard to stop so the guard squared up to him against the wall and threatened him. He was blatantly on a massive power trip which I’m sure a lot of them are.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 30/03/2025 07:47

Dueanamechange2025 · 30/03/2025 03:13

It’s a standard shoplifters scheme to take the sleeping baby in with them and use the pram to take items.
You know it was a mistake but they don’t. Perhaps testing it with just milk (assuming normal milk and not baby milk) ready to come back and try something more expensive next time if you got away with it.

Yes they may get about 10 of these a day. How does he know who to differentiate as a mistake?

I’ve done it myself where something was on the hood and I walked out, so had to go and fess up. So it’s easy done but I wouldn’t have complained about being told off if I was caught. He does sound a bit over the top, but you don’t know how many he has to deal with a day…

Lovelysummerdays · 30/03/2025 07:43

Chiseltip · 30/03/2025 07:28

Your understanding of the law is wrong. The security guards in your old job also didn't understand the law.

Show quote history

My understanding is the same as the pp. I was told by a police officer that security guards aren’t allowed to search your bags without consent. The only people who can insist are the police. If they do search without consent then it’s difficult to prosecute, illegal searches being fruit of the poisoned tree. I am in Scotland if that makes a difference. I think the laws of property are different here so technically if you are within a building that the owner of the property controls then the property hasnt left their possession.

When I lived abroad it was really common to have your bag searched on the way out. Not just for me, for everyone. They would also check bags on the way in and seal them if possible so they would staple them closed (carrier bags) or cable tie zip pulls together. There were lockers in local lidls as no bags allowed in store. I do wonder if we will get to that point in the UK.

Icanhearabee · 30/03/2025 07:41

outofofficeagain · 30/03/2025 02:29

But you were shoplifting.

I know it was a mistake and we’ve all
done something similar, but it’s difficult to see what you would complain about.

Shoplifting is rife at the moment - I imagine stores are just sick of it.

It wasn’t shoplifting, it was a genuine mistake and there was no need for the security guard to be so aggressive to a mum pushing a small child in a pram.

And yes, shoplifting is rife at the moment. I’m fortunate that at the moment I can afford to stay afloat in the midst of a cost of living crisis that’s getting worse and worse with no sign of it abating. But there are thousands of families up and down the country who are struggling. It was reported 250 thousand more families were thrown into poverty after the chancellor’s spring statement, including 50 thousand children. What are they supposed to do when they run out of money? That’s the harsh reality many face. I’m more outraged by that to be honest.

BallerinaRadio · 30/03/2025 07:41

I imagine the security guard deals with 'accidental' shoplifters multiple times a day and just doesn't have the patience to listen to another 'but I was going to pay for it honest' story anymore.

Plus whenever I read a story like this I imagine the aggression of the security guard is embellished, or you felt he was more aggressive because of the situation.

Shoplifting is rife at the minute, especially with prams and things being put in bags so I'd just maybe not complain and use it to be more careful next time which it sounds like you will be

Gremlins101 · 30/03/2025 07:41

This could have happened to me a few times over the past few sleep deprived buggy years, i was very lucky it didn't. He sounds very aggressive. What a big shot, saving the world against accidental milk thieves.

Actually I'd probably go back and shop there forever more and stare him out with crazy eyes when leaving the shop every time until he started having nightmares about me.

Thingymajigii · 30/03/2025 07:40

You were treated badly but I would let it go. It's any easy mistake to make - I have done it myself but I wouldn't complain - he was just doing his job (even though he could have handled it much better)

Cottesloe · 30/03/2025 07:40

SarahAndQuack · 30/03/2025 03:04

Why would you complain?

Personally, I'd feel mortified my silly mistake meant they'd had to waste time and energy checking my shop.

It's rotten you are so tired - and I remember that stage - but I think because you are so tired, you're forgetting it's not personal. They just have to follow up when someone walks out without paying.

But she hadn't left the shop

Fioratourer · 30/03/2025 07:37

Years ago this happened to me an angry security guard chased me out the shop. Stupidly maybe I took something out my bag to compare to the product they sell then put my item back in my bag. I didn’t actually buy anything or steal. I was so cross as if they looked at the cameras properly they could see what happened. The security guard was ott and the manager was apologetic. So I know how you feel op. Mistakes happen but in future I would learn to steer the buggy with one hand and use a basket. I manage to do this but maybe depends on the pushchair/pram.

Littlebrownfreckle · 30/03/2025 07:37

But you DID shoplift. You can’t complain!! You stole the milk and got caught. Yes it was an accident but when I opened the thread I thought the ending would be that you were accused and HADNT stolen anything.

you can’t kick up a fuss when you DID steal something. Just thank your lucky stars they didn’t prosecute.

Woodywoodpecker321 · 30/03/2025 07:37

I would complain as the security guards reaction and the way he treated you was beyond reasonable. Not fair to make a tired mum feel that way! I hope you're ok OP!

Cerealkiller9000 · 30/03/2025 07:31

They need to prove you had intent to deprive them of the goods.

Cerealkiller9000 · 30/03/2025 07:31

MARG07 · 30/03/2025 02:24

Tonight I went to Lidl which I go occasionally to (I'm not a regular shopper there and prefer Tesco, but I was shopping near it and popped into get a few items) I was pushing my 2 year old son in a push chair. He was asleep, and I had the hood pulled all the way down on the stroller. I got yogurts and put them on the hood (I was only getting a few things and couldn't get a trolley or basket as I was pushing my son) then i got milk and realising it would fall off the hood as there was already stuff on it (as it wasn't folded up but pulled all the way down) because he was asleep, in a split second I put it in a carrier bag I had at the side of the pushchair on a clip. Stupid I know but I wasn't thinking.

I then got two birthday cards and some chocolate and placed them on the hood as they were small and would not fall off, and proceeded to the check out. I didn't sleep well and was exhausted also. I was in a queue and by the time my turn came I paid for everything and began to walk out, as I was putting the stuff in the bag I suddenly saw the milk and remembered it, but before I could do anything, an aggressive security man began to shout at me and proceeded to accuse me of stealing. He pulled out all the items i had, including stuff I'd purchased minutes before in another shop and kept shouting to give it all back. (One or two items they sold too) I had a receipt for the stuff from another shop, and kept telling him to look at it. He just kept ranting and rifling through all my stuff though really really aggressively. Everyone was staring and another customer came over with my receipt which i had not taken, and handed it to him, he looked at it and then started going on about the milk not being on it and I was lost for words. I felt so embarrassed at everyone looking and couldn't properly defend myself.

I said it was a mistake that i only put the milk in the carrier bag as it would have fallen off the stroller, and that I couldn't carry a basket and push my sleeping son at the same time. But he was so aggressive and didn't listen at all.. He then just grabbed the milk and walked off. I still wanted the milk (it was actually what I'd gone in for) and was about to pay but he just left. I was almost in tears and just walked out.

It was a genuine error and I feel it should have been handled better. I told my husband when I came home and said I want to go back and officially complain, but he said as I didn't pay its my fault and better to just drop it. AIBU to ask for a manager tomorrow & make a complaint? Or should I just leave it? I can't stop thinking that maybe someone I knew saw me there and thinks I'm a shop lifter. I feel sick..

My husband however said to just forget it and go back there to shop again if I want to, as I've nothing to hide, but not to complain over it. He thinks it's best to just act like it didn't happen.

Any advice?

at This pint you’d committed no crime….he can’t touch you or your bags. Did you give consent?

nah. The company is in the wrong here

Chiseltip · 30/03/2025 07:28

MugsyBalonz · 30/03/2025 02:40

I would complain. I used to work on retail and the law says that an offence is commited when you take goods with the intention of permanently depriving the owner of them. In every shop I ever worked in, this was when you physically left the store as that point of crossing the shop threshold was when it was clear you weren't going to pay - so many times we'd have a shoplifter in and security weren't allowed to touch them until they passed through the doors as up until that moment they still had the opportunity to pay for the goods they were carrying.

The security guard was over-zealous and heavy handed, he also had no right to search your bags without your consent even if you had been shoplifting - legally he could detain you but if he wanted your bags searched and you refused then he'd have to call the police to do it.

Your understanding of the law is wrong. The security guards in your old job also didn't understand the law.

Pricelessadvice · 30/03/2025 07:24

I feel I must add that I accidentally once stole a pint of milk, literally in plain sight. I tucked it under my armpit because I didn’t have a basket and my hands were full and then I went to the checkout (pre self checkout days). I paid for the other items but forgot about the milk under my armpit and the assistant didn’t notice either.
It was only when I was getting into the car that I realised and I felt my blood run cold. So easily done, I do understand.

Lovelysummerdays · 30/03/2025 07:22

I’ve been in that position. I chucked a bag of potatoes under the buggy as I had a wheely basket. And they would take up too much space in the basket. I realised after at the packing shelf and everyone was nice and I paid for the spuds. I don’t think it’s necessary to be rude and tbh I don’t think milk is what supermarkets worry about being stolen.

It’s the booze and the high value stuff. That said it’s really awkward to complain as you were in the wrong. I suspect if he treats customers like this management will end up moving him on.

Pricelessadvice · 30/03/2025 07:20

I guess the security guard was just treating you like a shoplifter, because to him, you were.
He wasn’t to know it was a mistake. Should genuine shoplifters be treated covertly so nobody knows what’s going on? Personally I feel they should be made a spectacle of. Theft is awful, after all.
I know you didn’t do anything wrong on purpose, but I bet 99% of actual shoplifters try to wriggle out of it by using the excuses you did (not saying yours was an excuse, but you see what I mean) so how was the security meant to know any different.

Dueanamechange2025 · 30/03/2025 07:12

EasternEcho · 30/03/2025 06:39

We aren't talking about every single shoplifter. It's OP's case we are discussing based on taking what she has written at face value.

Show quote history

Yes but I’m talking from the shop & security guards POV.

HelenWheels · 30/03/2025 07:07

can you write and complain, email the company - far easier than doing it in person

Bringbackjaspers · 30/03/2025 07:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TinyTheresa · 30/03/2025 07:05

TwinklyBird · 30/03/2025 05:22

The OP wasn’t shoplifting. Inadvertently or not.

Shoplifting comes under the Theft Act 1968.
“A person is guilty of theft if he dishonestly appropriates property belonging to another with the intention of permanently depriving the other of it”

The word intention is right there. You can’t inadvertently intend to do something!

The security guard was in the wrong and even if he suspected the OP was shoplifting he is not a judge or magistrate, or even the police, it’s not his call to make and there was no need to be aggressive.

Yeah he might be sick of people stealing but that doesn’t mean he gets to shout at the OP. In my line of work, I get sick of people turning up late for appointments but I don’t shout at them in front of a waiting room full of people!

You are allowed to make a mistake.

I would have asked to speak to the manager there and then, but I probably would not go back to complain now. I would not shop there any more either, they should train and manage their staff properly!