Accused of shoplifting after mistake. Should I complain?

I’d let it go and write it off as a bad experience, @op even though it does sound as though the security guard went OTT. As you were (unintentionally) shoplifting, I doubt they would be interested in addressing the manner of their security staff.

Off topic, but I’m curious… why do you call the pushchair a ‘stroller’?

Hi OP,

I'll share my story to hopefully make you feel a little better. I have done similar - and to make it worse, my DH worked at the store!

I think the security guard handled it badly, but as others have said, stores are targeted every day for theft and many people become aggressive when confronted.

I was with my two children buying a handful of items and they were doing their typical of asking me millions of questions, walking off to look at the slot machines at the end of the tills (heading in different directions). I was distracted and somehow my payment on the self service till didn't go through.

I didn't realise and walked out. I was intercepted by security guards at the door and a member of staff and was absolutely mortified. They just asked me to follow them back to the till and I paid. It was humiliating, mortifying, embarrassing. But, they were kind - and not because my husband worked there. It is a big store so they wouldn't have realised.

I say forget about it and move on. I doubt the security guard is giving you a second thoughts. You are one of many people he would have intercepted that day.

The security guard doesn’t know anything about you other than you put items in your bag without paying. He will see this every day. Yes he perhaps was too shouty but all you can do is chalk it up to experience and don’t go there again. Years ago a friend of mine working as a security guard stopped someone and asked to see a receipt. No argument or anything but because this person was a vicars wife she was ‘humiliated’ etc , made a ranty complaint and ultimately my mate was sacked from a minimum wage job!

A good security guard, even when dealing with prolific shoplifters, should not be doing it in an aggressive and humiliating way. He was right to pull you up on it but it in no way means it is ok to be as aggressive as you describe.

As another poster says, I would absolutely feed this back both to the store and their head office. Accept you made a mistake and it was right you were pulled up on that, but the demeanour of the security guard is not acceptable or professional.

Does that make it all right? You think someone who only steals low-value items should just be allowed to get on with it? How odd.

It’s not that OP was desperate because she couldn’t afford milk for her baby - she had other items she was willing to pay for, including chocolate. (But in this instance I accept OP was not intentionally stealing.)

My eyes are rolling back so hard at this I can barely see

Let it go.
You know it was a mistake. You know it was just tiredness.
The security guy didn't know, and deals with actual shoplifters all the time, and from his pov there wasn't much difference. He didn't make a mistake, you did. But it's ok. There's no long term consequences and you'll be more careful in future. Let it be water under the bridge.

I had a vision of a trolley that the mum wheels the pram on to, then the whole thing can be pushed, with space somewhere for the shopping.

What would a disabled mum be doing? How do they manage the situation? Often that's where the innovation lies.

I’d probably frame it as “feedback” rather than a complaint. It sounds like the security guard could have handled it differently. But you effectively were shoplifting so it’s not really reasonable to complain about having been called out on that.

I'd put it down to experience OP. I absolutely believe you didn't do it on purpose, but from the stores perspective I get the security guard will hear this line from practically every person every time they are caught.
Give it a few weeks and you will be sharing it as a funny story.

Definitely complain about the aggressiveness of the situation, although acknowledge that you were in the wrong, even though it was accidental.

They have - Lidl and Aldi have small baskets on wheels that can be pulled along one handed whilst the other hand pushed the trolley. Alternatively, I’ve seen baskets on the trolley hood, or even on the actual child!

How could she prove that she had ‘no intention of permanently depriving the other’ of the milk, which she had put in a bag with shopping she had bought from another shop instead of keeping it with the rest of her shopping?
I went into Tesco yesterday and picked up a potted plant from the stand outside before entering. I put the plant in the front end of the trolley. I then did a big scan and shop so by the end the trolley was pretty full. As I put the shopping in my car I saw the plant and realised I hadn’t scanned it so returned to the store and paid for it.
If I had been stopped I could argue that I had not attempted to steal it as it wasn’t concealed. The OP concealed the milk amongst other shopping so I would argue that she would find it hard to prove her innocence. It would be interesting to see the CCTV recording of the encounter with the security guard though.

Oh for goodness sake. If someone stole from you, would you consider that’s ok because it might be a "cry for help"?

And don’t tell me OP might have been desperately short of money and unable to afford milk for her child (even if she had hidden the milk intentionally, which I accept she didn’t). She says she had chocolate she was willing to pay for.

This. Its always a mistake apparently.

That is, and I'm pretty certain you know this, a different issue.

Maybe the staff should be coming up with a solution for how the hell mums with prams can shop?!

I think I’d have more sympathy with a mother stealing milk than someone stealing a bunch of booze or expensive perfume. Isn’t there a de minimis rule about prosecutions for shoplifting? It is cumulative so can tot it up over time but I think you’d have to go steal milk every week for years.

It also might be a cry for help.

if you intend to pay you aren’t committing theft.

I'm pretty certain there's a very good reason that this phrase isn't in The Theft Act 1968.

Yes.

We would handle this if we spotted it by saying “So sorry I think you’ve forgotten the milk on your pram.” So they can pay for it and avoid a scene. Can’t approach or apprehend them for shoplifting until they’ve left the store.

I never said it was likely to be "an issue" or otherwise.
You can disagree all you like but I'm just quoting the legal position on consuming food in a supermarket before you have paid.
It's not hard to Google if you don't believe me.

Some people on this thread seem to believe that the rules should be different for a mum with a pram

That really does women a disservice.

The tomato poster was expecting a freebie

I’d disagree with this as there is a mental element to theft, if you intend to pay you aren’t committing theft. There’s a costa coffee machine on the way into Tescos. I often buy a drink and have it on the way to the till. They are made at drinkable temperature. So it’d be tepid if you waited.

It’s not theft, I have every intention to pay. I want to pay for it as I get a meal deal so it’s cheaper with a coffee than without!

Its never been an issue.