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Original poster

Accused of shoplifting after mistake. Should I complain?

262 replies

MARG07 · 30/03/2025 02:24

Tonight I went to Lidl which I go occasionally to (I'm not a regular shopper there and prefer Tesco, but I was shopping near it and popped into get a few items) I was pushing my 2 year old son in a push chair. He was asleep, and I had the hood pulled all the way down on the stroller. I got yogurts and put them on the hood (I was only getting a few things and couldn't get a trolley or basket as I was pushing my son) then i got milk and realising it would fall off the hood as there was already stuff on it (as it wasn't folded up but pulled all the way down) because he was asleep, in a split second I put it in a carrier bag I had at the side of the pushchair on a clip. Stupid I know but I wasn't thinking.

I then got two birthday cards and some chocolate and placed them on the hood as they were small and would not fall off, and proceeded to the check out. I didn't sleep well and was exhausted also. I was in a queue and by the time my turn came I paid for everything and began to walk out, as I was putting the stuff in the bag I suddenly saw the milk and remembered it, but before I could do anything, an aggressive security man began to shout at me and proceeded to accuse me of stealing. He pulled out all the items i had, including stuff I'd purchased minutes before in another shop and kept shouting to give it all back. (One or two items they sold too) I had a receipt for the stuff from another shop, and kept telling him to look at it. He just kept ranting and rifling through all my stuff though really really aggressively. Everyone was staring and another customer came over with my receipt which i had not taken, and handed it to him, he looked at it and then started going on about the milk not being on it and I was lost for words. I felt so embarrassed at everyone looking and couldn't properly defend myself.

I said it was a mistake that i only put the milk in the carrier bag as it would have fallen off the stroller, and that I couldn't carry a basket and push my sleeping son at the same time. But he was so aggressive and didn't listen at all.. He then just grabbed the milk and walked off. I still wanted the milk (it was actually what I'd gone in for) and was about to pay but he just left. I was almost in tears and just walked out.

It was a genuine error and I feel it should have been handled better. I told my husband when I came home and said I want to go back and officially complain, but he said as I didn't pay its my fault and better to just drop it. AIBU to ask for a manager tomorrow & make a complaint? Or should I just leave it? I can't stop thinking that maybe someone I knew saw me there and thinks I'm a shop lifter. I feel sick..

My husband however said to just forget it and go back there to shop again if I want to, as I've nothing to hide, but not to complain over it. He thinks it's best to just act like it didn't happen.

Any advice?

OP posts:
TheBuffetInspector · 30/03/2025 03:46

I think I'd just let it go in this instance.

Velmy · 30/03/2025 03:42

A store security guard can't search you or your bags without consent. Did you give consent?

If not I would complain - if you hadn't actually left the store then you'd committed no crime and a reasonable person would have understood your explanation.

It would be highly unlikely that an actual shoplifter would return to the store to straighten things out, but if you're nervous about going in, you could always call ahead, or go in with your partner.

Make sure they know that you were searched without consent and how it made you feel.

A similar thing happened to a friend of mine in Sainsburys a while back, I marched her in to speak to a manager the next day. They were lovely, gave her flowers and an £80 gift voucher!

Tbrh · 30/03/2025 03:42

Just forget it. You're the one who made the mistake so why would you complain. I wish supermarket's had more power so there weren't so many people stealing, it is becoming more and more brazen, and the costs get passed back to the consumer. Us!

OldCottageGreenhouse · 30/03/2025 03:38

SarahAndQuack · 30/03/2025 03:04

Why would you complain?

Personally, I'd feel mortified my silly mistake meant they'd had to waste time and energy checking my shop.

It's rotten you are so tired - and I remember that stage - but I think because you are so tired, you're forgetting it's not personal. They just have to follow up when someone walks out without paying.

Again, it’s not the fact that she was challenged, it’s THE MANNER IN WHICH IT WAS DONE….! Ie: aggressively and ott from OP’s description. Thats not how they are trained to approach the issue regardless of how anyone on here thinks it should be done.

OldCottageGreenhouse · 30/03/2025 03:35

Why are there so many people on this thread pretending to not understand what OP’s very valid point is? It’s not that she was challenged, it was the MANNER IN WHICH IT WAS DONE.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/03/2025 03:21

MugsyBalonz · 30/03/2025 02:40

I would complain. I used to work on retail and the law says that an offence is commited when you take goods with the intention of permanently depriving the owner of them. In every shop I ever worked in, this was when you physically left the store as that point of crossing the shop threshold was when it was clear you weren't going to pay - so many times we'd have a shoplifter in and security weren't allowed to touch them until they passed through the doors as up until that moment they still had the opportunity to pay for the goods they were carrying.

The security guard was over-zealous and heavy handed, he also had no right to search your bags without your consent even if you had been shoplifting - legally he could detain you but if he wanted your bags searched and you refused then he'd have to call the police to do it.

I agree with this. Were you still inside the shop? Rifling through your bags wasn’t ok at all.

Dueanamechange2025 · 30/03/2025 03:13

It’s a standard shoplifters scheme to take the sleeping baby in with them and use the pram to take items.
You know it was a mistake but they don’t. Perhaps testing it with just milk (assuming normal milk and not baby milk) ready to come back and try something more expensive next time if you got away with it.

SarahAndQuack · 30/03/2025 03:04

Why would you complain?

Personally, I'd feel mortified my silly mistake meant they'd had to waste time and energy checking my shop.

It's rotten you are so tired - and I remember that stage - but I think because you are so tired, you're forgetting it's not personal. They just have to follow up when someone walks out without paying.

steff13 · 30/03/2025 02:46

I would imagine everyone says it was a mistake when they're caught shoplifting. There is no way for him to know whether it was a genuine mistake or not.

He sounds aggressive, And you could complain about that, but I think anyone taking the complaint is going to assume that you were shoplifting and probably not take it super seriously.

MugsyBalonz · 30/03/2025 02:40

I would complain. I used to work on retail and the law says that an offence is commited when you take goods with the intention of permanently depriving the owner of them. In every shop I ever worked in, this was when you physically left the store as that point of crossing the shop threshold was when it was clear you weren't going to pay - so many times we'd have a shoplifter in and security weren't allowed to touch them until they passed through the doors as up until that moment they still had the opportunity to pay for the goods they were carrying.

The security guard was over-zealous and heavy handed, he also had no right to search your bags without your consent even if you had been shoplifting - legally he could detain you but if he wanted your bags searched and you refused then he'd have to call the police to do it.

nocoolnamesleft · 30/03/2025 02:35

If you complain to the shop about being challenged for shoplifting when you were (albeit inadvertently) actually shoplifting, then I anticipate you'll get banned from the shop.

outofofficeagain · 30/03/2025 02:29

But you were shoplifting.

I know it was a mistake and we’ve all
done something similar, but it’s difficult to see what you would complain about.

Shoplifting is rife at the moment - I imagine stores are just sick of it.

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