Is he a knobhead for not picking me up?

It must be an awfully long way if it's not walkable.

Clearly not. Your other half would probably rather see you crawling that mile, bare knee'd on gravel.
Because otherwise you would be smothered and feel incompetent. I mean cherished. D'oh.
It's all so confusing isn't it?
I mean how far is a mile anyway?

I suppose I am not cherished then! 🙄

First you mention a daughter to make it sound like you had a child with you. She is an adult and wasn’t even with you anymore at that point!
A 20-minute walk is nothing and you had been away just a few days, and you don’t live together. He probably didn’t have time to collect you and have a big debrief about your holiday in the middle of his workday.
I’m surprised you hadn’t made plans before to have dinner or stay over at his if being away a few days is a big thing to you.

I would expect my husband to respect what I say if I say I can walk and don't want a lift I would expect him to respect that, same I do the same for him

My dh would pick me up. I’m always his priority.
Even if I said don’t worry I can walk he would be there.

@WTF99 does your dp cherish you op?
Everyone in a relationship deserves to be cherished.

No, I dont ever expect my DH to pick me up unless I am ill or had a small baby. Certainly not if he's working.

A mile is nothing. I walk five times that daily.

Did you drop it on him while he was working OP, or did did you give him a bit of notice?

He probably should have come for you if his work is something that he can take a quick break from. But if you dropped it on him last minute he may have thought that you were being a bit cheeky if there were taxis or walking was an option.

It might have been one of those really long miles.

He was working, no i would not expect it

It depends on the day and what you're working on for some people. Some days might be cruisy, other days I don't have time to go to the loo. I think this is a red herring and it's more about what he's like in general

Unless it was pissing it down and you live in an area where walking is a death sentence, you're being unreasonable. When was the last time you walked or run a mile?

Bin him off, OP. You're old enough not to put up with someone who doesn't treat you well. Don't wait for him to need something so you can turn him down - that's not who you are. Look at this clearly - he could have picked you up and he didn't, not because he couldn't but because he didn't want to. Do you think he's punishing you for having a nice time without him? Regardless, you deserve better than someone like this.

Expect? No.

But both my husband and I would have done it for each other without hesitation, even from when we were dating.

He would have known I was exhausted from travelling all day and would probably have had a heavy bag to carry too. It's always nice to have the opportunity to do something to lighten the load of the person you love, and it feels like a warm protective jacket around you to know they would do the same for you without even thinking about it.

I suggest you take a good, hard look at this relationship and think about whether it's what you really want.

Did he know your time line -

If he did - then you were not unreasonable - most people I know can and do - block a 'pretend meeting' into their timeline to do such tasks - or he would have known in advance and told you 'i'd love to be able to collect you but can't make it till X as a meeting has been booked in'

If he did not know your timeline - then he may well not have been able to collect you

I do think there is an element of priority though - your gut reaction (he made no effort) is the right one

If he was just sat at home not doing anything, absolutely but he was working.

Pathetic isnt it?

And yet 6 months later he still doesnt understand why I (and his ex wife) dumped him!

My ex was like this. I am in 50's and he is an ex......

ETA

When we first got together he couldnt do enough for me, but once I started to go through menopause and the sex was a bit on and off, funnily enough he lost interest..wonder why.

I agree with other posters who have said he could have popped out for 15 minutes.
he could have taken the time as a break which surely he is entitled to.
i expect you were shattered after travelling and could have done with being picked up.
I suppose you could have got a taxi but you were counting on your dp being pleased to see you and wouldn’t have minded taking just 15 minutes off to pick you up.
never mind op, one day he may require a similar favour but of course you’ll be too busy.
I hope you had a lovely time away with your dd.

It's not like you spent 6 months in space. How do you know how his boss would have taken him leaving during work time for a personal errand that wasn't a necessity or emergency. He told you he was too busy.

"I just thought he'd be pleased to see me and might make the effort to pick me up."

Why didn't you make the effort and walk without interrupting his work? You were the one on vacation. He's the one actually working.

You felt entitled to his time because you went away, even though he was working and on the clock. That's very unreasonable.

I agree with you OP. I would definitely have picked you up. I have a Big Job but would have found the time for my DP. I’m sure you are capable of walking or getting an uber, but that’s not really the point is it