Is he a knobhead for not picking me up?

I got home from a weekend today. I got a taxi the mile or so home. My DH was at home, not working today, but it wouldn't have occurred to me to ask.
My weekend was to see my Dad, he offered to get me from the station at his, to go the mile or so to his house. I declined, and walked.
I appear to have survived both.

I'm not remotely heavily monitored. I can work whatever pattern I like (hence taking a long lunch break today). But I still have important work that often has urgent deadlines. So some days it would be fine to nip out and pick someone up and other days it definitely wouldn't be

Not everyone can drop work like that. What do I do when I’m chairing a meeting with 20 attendees, tell them they have to wait whilst I pick up my partner? I’d get sacked.

Totally. I hate this idea that it’s all about meetings and managers. You didn’t have a meeting in the sense people normally mean (you had something more important!) nor I expect did you have a manager breathing down your neck, but you had important work that needed doing right then, as did everyone else in your hearing.

I thought your DD was four from your reaction! I would always walk home from the station. My DH might pick me up if I had lots of heavy luggage or it was raining but if he was working probably suggest I get a taxi.

It's lovely to be picked up but YABU to be disappointed if you're not; especially as he was working at the time.

Like maybe he'd missed you and wanted to be nice, but in reality he was ticked off bc you went away without him and so he cba/was being stroppy?

It's a mile, 1609 meters, you're being unreasonable.

If you don’t like walking why didn’t you park your car at the station? How did you get there?

Yabu to assume wfh is not working.

WFH is still working so no i wouldn't expect him to pick me up. If he could flex out and do it I'd consider that thoughtful, but i certainly wouldn't think him a knobhead if he couldn't because he was at work

If he was working I’d say it’s reasonable for him to have declined to collect you. If it’s a mile away from the station that’s only a 15 min walk or so

I would have tried to pick you up but if I was working then it’s unlikely it would have been at the same time as your train getting in.

By the time I was able to come and get you, it would have been easier to just walk.

I wouldn’t have assumed that you needed a lift but if you had asked me then I would have tried.

I don’t the WFH should mean being able to have a 15min break whenever you want and I’d like to know if you WFH too and whether you think it’s more flexible that it actually is.

I only WFH during covid and it was much more flexible than in person, but I still wouldn’t have been able to leave for 15mins whenever I wanted.

The adult daughter is particularly irrelevant. She wasn’t even with the OP as they’d parted company in London…

You are an adult who can get independently from point a to point b, right? You got yourself from Spain to the train station. Then why can't you get a mile down the road?

Why should picking you up and taking you a mile down the road be his priority when he is WORKING? WTF. Would you have expected pickup service if he was we working in the office?

This is his livelihood and you're trying to fuck with it because you think him picking you up for a mile drive should be more important than his earning his living. That's not kind, that's entitlement.

This is the kind of bullshit that is getting work from home turned back to work in the office.

I don’t know about that. Sometimes second time round relationships can be complicated by ‘errors’ in previous ones.

As an example, I am very reluctant to make myself available for little jobs for a man, in case I fall again into a trap where I make their life easier, by making mine harder, and it is expected rather than appreciated.

So the line between thoughtful and doormat is quite narrow.

I’m not saying that’s what’s going on here and of course you say you would have collected him - but have you actually collected?

"Virtually no effort"? You're deluded, not that I'd feel like making any effort for someone who throws around insults like "selfish, miserable fuck" at the drop of a hat.

And your exactly why wfh doesn't work- prioritise everything over the work you're paid to do.

A Mike walk isn't far unless you've got really heavy luggage.

The arse is you for rudeness. The fact OP was with her (adult) daughter was irrelevant but OP only clarified that later. There was no need for the OP to even mention it.

My DP wouldn't be able to leave "the phones" to do this. If his job was more flexible, I'd expect a lift, if it was 10 - 15 minute job. So if he has that flexibility YANBU.

I WFH and this would be absolutely fine in my job. DH also WFH and not a chance would he be able to do this. Even his lunches are scheduled for him.

I imagine DH would be pissed off if I didn’t offer, because he knows I have that flexibility, unless I’d told him I have a meeting. I’m always nipping out. I wouldn’t even dream of suggesting it to DH because I also know how his day works and doing a half an hour round trip would not be okay.

OP, only you know what his general work life is like. Some of us have that flexibility and some of us don’t. I’m guessing you know if he does or not.

If adult daughter then I think less unreasonable for him to not pick you up.

Absolutely I would pick up DH if he had been away and spent the day travelling. You'd have to be a selfish, miserable fuck not to. It's a little gesture of kindness that takes virtually no effort but makes your partners life a bit easier. Fair enough if the DP had a meeting or a job that required strict presenteeism but OP has explained this is not the case. I often pop out to drop/pick up my mum to the station. 100% my DH would do this for me. I don't think you have much of a relationship if you can't be bothered doing even a small favour for your partner. That's a pretty miserable way of life.

My son WFH and definitely would not be able to take time out to do a favour for his gf. Only if it fell in his scheduled lunch break could he.

If he’s in meetings and stuff and/or his online use is monitored etc then you are being unreasonable. If not, then I’d expect him to pick you up as the time can easily be made up.