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Original poster

Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?

218 replies

Coranne · 29/03/2025 21:10

No offence intended. But why do so many mother of the brides wear these horrible long coats with stiff dresses and a huge hat.

I took my mum to a wedding stylist (not cheap) and all she did was pull out outfits like the first image. I told the stylist I wanted my mum in something like the second outfit plus pashmina.

I’m British but my family is European by origin. Is it just tradition? The go to? It’s not even the most flattering. My mum is slim so I don’t get the knee jerk reaction to go for such a dated look

So confused!

Neither image is of my mum

Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?
Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?
OP posts:
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18
Paydaystressday · 29/03/2025 23:35

My lovely Mum had the most amazing MOB outfit from a charity shop. She looked amazing. She was a very unique lady and was very happy and comfortable with her choice.
We all had our school uniforms from Harrods ,for context.
She did buy a hat ,shoes and bag to complement her beautiful outfit and the stupidly cost of our wedding!!
My Mum enjoyed telling all the guests that her clothes were from a charity shop 🥰

Original poster
Coranne · 29/03/2025 23:35

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/03/2025 23:32

One shop and Google.

Hardly representative of an entire nations women.

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“Google” 😂

Many agree on here it’s almost the default uniform for MOTB.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 29/03/2025 23:32

Coranne · 29/03/2025 23:31

I’m basing it off what’s being pushed in the shops/sm

Show quote history

One shop and Google.

Hardly representative of an entire nations women.

Original poster
Coranne · 29/03/2025 23:31

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/03/2025 23:30

I agree that it isnt a great look. I agree that it is dated. I agree that there are better options out there.

But you lumping all of us into one homogenous whole on the actions of one stylist in this country is ignorant and racist. It just is. You dont say what your home country is, and it doesnt matter, but I wonder how you would feel if I had one bad interaction with a personal shopper in your home country and then decided that all the women in your country dressed like she suggested I should. I rather think that you would be pissed off and tell me that I was wrong, and rightly so.

Show quote history

I’m basing it off what’s being pushed in the shops/sm

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 29/03/2025 23:30

Coranne · 29/03/2025 23:08

I don’t get why this has hit such a nerve.

Many people agree that the look I have described is considered the default

And many have agreed better alternatives exist

Im certainly not being racist

I agree that it isnt a great look. I agree that it is dated. I agree that there are better options out there.

But you lumping all of us into one homogenous whole on the actions of one stylist in this country is ignorant and racist. It just is. You dont say what your home country is, and it doesnt matter, but I wonder how you would feel if I had one bad interaction with a personal shopper in your home country and then decided that all the women in your country dressed like she suggested I should. I rather think that you would be pissed off and tell me that I was wrong, and rightly so.

Original poster
Coranne · 29/03/2025 23:28

I see my mum in something like this. That silhouette does NOT just suit rake thin women. Statement earrings, killer heels. Job done.

Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?
OP posts:
NattyTurtle59 · 29/03/2025 23:21

Foolsgold74 · 29/03/2025 21:34

It's not sincere though. It's critical and superior.

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It's actually not. I feel exactly the same way (and I'm 65). I don't have kids but whenever I see photos of people at their children's weddings I inwardly cringe. It's rare to see a woman actually looking stylish - other than one of my friends, who always looks stylish but wouldn't dress like that ever (yes, she has been MOTB and MOTG in the past). It's almost like a uniform.

abracadabra1980 · 29/03/2025 23:16

I've just googled MOTB Spain and I agree there are much nicer suggestions.

outofideas2 · 29/03/2025 23:16

Well I'm with you @Coranne. My DD is getting married and my instagram is inundated with outfits just like your examples Of course, I will make my own mind up what I wear, but I value my DD's opinion, and have actually checked she isn't expecting me to wear anything like the MOB suggestions that keep coming up. Fortunately, she isn't!

SwedishEdith · 29/03/2025 23:11

I've just googled Spanish and Swedish royal weddings and there are the same horrors there. The problem in the UK is unreliable weather so I can see why some go for a dress with a jacket "just in case". I'm already thinking if I'm ever motb I'll choose a trouser and jacket combo.

NomNomNominativeDeterminism · 29/03/2025 23:11

To be honest, I would have sacked the stylist for replacing the first woman’s head with a football. But each to their own.

Ecotype · 29/03/2025 23:10

Smallmercies · 29/03/2025 22:58

I'm Scandinavian and find the whole Kate/Carole style utterly hideous and dated - in my country we simply put on a løpårtuk with our stadfeistar and call it good 👍.

Eh?

Pepperypottery · 29/03/2025 23:09

I think anything labelled as ‘wedding’ immediately takes a turn for the naff.
I’ll see your point about the motb outfits typically being incredibly dated, but I’ll raise you the wedding dress. Why are people still buying these absurd white confections, it absolutely baffles me.

Original poster
Coranne · 29/03/2025 23:08

I don’t get why this has hit such a nerve.

Many people agree that the look I have described is considered the default

And many have agreed better alternatives exist

Im certainly not being racist

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 29/03/2025 23:04

Coranne · 29/03/2025 22:32

This is absolutely not the go to in my home country. That is just a fact.

Edited

But you are not in your home country. People in other countries do things differently. In the US if you google MOTB outfits you will find floor length dresses in pastel colours because that is their go to.

What you are saying is the equivalent to me living in India and being baffled why so many women wear saris and a lot of jewellry to weddings "Why has this taken such a hold in this country?!". That would be ignorant and racist. Think about that.

Smallmercies · 29/03/2025 22:58

I'm Scandinavian and find the whole Kate/Carole style utterly hideous and dated - in my country we simply put on a løpårtuk with our stadfeistar and call it good 👍.

Smallmercies · 29/03/2025 22:56

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Ooh, saucer of milk, table 2!

TizerorFizz · 29/03/2025 22:54

@Ecotype It’s a discussion! No need to be so rude!

Ecotype · 29/03/2025 22:53

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TizerorFizz · 29/03/2025 22:44

Expected by whom? They are what some women choose but others truly won’t! I think finding a dressmaker you trust is also a fraught process. I think I will prefer a brand with products I already admire. What that costs won’t really matter but often looking smart isn’t remotely swanky. This is why French women look chic. They know how to dress but aren’t swanky in a show-off way. Classically chic is what I prefer.

KatzenRatzen · 29/03/2025 22:43

Where are you finding these outfits, op? Just stop googling motb 😂

Original poster
Coranne · 29/03/2025 22:43

I was just curious why “the look” has taken hold in the UK.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 29/03/2025 22:41

I don't think that it looked ugly on the modrl, just dated. So what if it isn't what you'd wear in your home country? Just find something that is. Do you have a picture of a typical MOB outfit? There's been some shockingly bad outfits from European aristocracy at royal events.

Diversion · 29/03/2025 22:36

I was Mum of the Groom and looked at the expected outfits on Google and was horrified. I tend towards more of an alternative look and am lucky that someone I knew well was a costumier/dressmaker. I came up with some ideas, she added her knowledge and we went shopping for fabric together. I could not have been more delighted with the outfit and felt a million dollars and it probably cost me a whole lot less than some swanky shop. if you can go bespoke, do it. I have worn the outfit several times since.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 29/03/2025 22:35

Coranne · 29/03/2025 22:32

This is absolutely not the go to in my home country. That is just a fact.

Edited

Please can we have an example of your home country's MOTB style?

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