Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?

whatever the month you cannot guarantee sunshine for a wedding, so some form of jacket is required

As others have said, it’s the female version of the morning suit. I really hate morning suits too.

The answer is to steer well clear of bridal shops or wedding stylists.

if you are british then you are european

I just don’t get your problem OP. There’s a traditional mother of the brides outfit- like there is with many traditional attires. I’m guessing not many people wear it, as there’s other shops and choices and you can wear whatever the you want whenever you want. There are so many shops selling so many dresses. Buy what you want, no one’s forcing you to buy a dress.

You can go to a ball and if you were to walk into a shop selling ball gowns you would get Cinderella type dresses but you don’t have to buy it. You could go to phase 8 and buy whatever you want.

Your post is weird. It’s just a rant, it’s bizzare.

Heres the grown up answer… message your sisters in a what’s app group and say ugh those dresses weren’t nice , let’s try other dresses from different shops. And then do so. Are you worried people will look at your mother and judge her that she’s not wearing the correct outfit in your perception?

Oh and in he got photo above the only bad dress is the top right blue one. The rest would look banging with hair and make up and heels. So god knows what your point is

This is a lovely dress for a bbq or a summer get-together in my opinion. If your wedding is more that style - e.g. bride is wearing a similarly floaty dress rather than structured traditional bridal gown; groom is wearing casual suit or even less formal; you’re on the beach or in a casual garden setting; the meal is a buffet or similar - then this floaty summer dress would be perfect. The traditional British wedding is a more formal affair and therefore the traditional British MOTB clothing is more structured and formal too. You’ve had the explanation and the example of the Middleton’s, which you seemed to accept, but then you’ve gone on arguing. As weddings have become less formal, lots of MOTB have moved to wear things they’re more comfortable in and therefore you don’t need a “MOTB” traditional outfit. You don’t want a traditional British formal wedding outfit so don’t look for one - easy! When/if I get to that stage, I will choose my outfit based on what will best suit the style of the wedding I’m a part of, balanced with what I feel comfortable in.

The nice thing about society today is that we actually aren’t beholden to traditions anymore. But I think the previous posters who pointed out that you wouldn’t say this about henna tattoos, saris and gold jewellery in Indian weddings have a point - think twice about being so disrespectful of other people’s traditions.

The mother of the bride isn’t supposed to outshine the bride. The OP seems to want to make it all about her mother.

You’ve slated some lovely dresses and the ones you have put on look cheap and horrible 😂🙈 maybe do go with the stylist she’ll help you out. Or do your own thing and don’t come on the internet being rude, obnoxious, purposely trying to cause a rift about British women’s style and European women. Or are you on the spectrum and can’t see how your posts come across as

I like all bar 1 of snooty’s suggestions, and completely agree with her breakdown of what’s looked for in an MoB outfit.

You don’t have to wear an MoB even if you are the MoB, but there’s a reason for them!

The Queen chose her style so she could be seen as a petite woman in among dramatic backdrops. Solid colour and shapes, which will last the day without mishap.

MoB need similar, though they can get away with pattern.

Did you ask the stylist what dresses she had and what kind of attire you were looking for?

If you have such an eye for this kind of thing, I’m not sure why a stylist or Mumsnet thread is needed. My mum is very stylish and knows how to dress herself body shape and complexion better than anyone and she dressed herself for my wedding and my sister’s very different one. She looked fabulous and striking (without upstaging through her cut/colour/print choices). I was told a handful of times how incredible she looked too. We went with her to choose but just for fun - she doesn’t need advice. We take it from her!

A ‘Mother of the Bride’ outfit suggests something specific- formal, substantial and involving a hat. Often chosen to flatter/disguise the matronly figure that creeps on lots of women with age.

If you want a stunning dress for a wedding, ask for that- not a MoB outfit!

https://www.janeatelier.com/collections/new-in?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtJ6_BhDWARIsAGanmKeQSZteGJ0FR_HTWIKEC2UmrSEFV8eLzgPrzrX5cs5Oy5dy0XxfihsaAm62EALw_wcB
Jane Atelier has worked very well for me.The wool crepe sits beautifully and doesn't have the horrible shiny effect and texture.
I'm petite and the tunic styles in particular work really well for me and are also very wearable.
It's such a shame to buy an outfit you'll never wear again and the typical mob styles are just not wearable.

i would hope that when my dd get married they trust my judgement and dont take me to a stylist.

Your pictures on my opinion have two ugly outfits. One is formal but old fashioned the other isn't. UK weddings are traditionally formal, structured clothes are generally worn, material is chosen to make sure it doesn't crease and the mob looks consistent all day on photos. The colours are chosen to photograph well with bridal party so no patterns or bright colours. Nothing too eye catching to upfront the bride. Formal and not controversial. Something that can keep the mob both warm and can have layers of it's very warm.That is British tradition. The version of this you have pictured is old fashioned o haven't been to a wedding with a mob like that these are more like what I have seen and expect mob to wesr

https://snootyfrox.co.uk/product/rosa-clara-8g153-smoke-dress/

https://www.flormiss.co.uk/sheath-column-stretch-crepe-scoop-1-2-sleeves-knee-length-mother-of-the-bride-dress-f23m734.html

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/bridie-maxi-dress-100029745010.html?istCompanyId=c38fe7a0-ffd0-4925-94b3-cff8df449484&istFeedId=5a41320b-c741-4d1e-b90d-1091450d147c&istItemId=qipltpawm&istBid=t&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=21783433593&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=21783433593&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtJ6_BhDWARIsAGanmKdS_0R8k1n_-4OagiZz3ZMzEp7vR09JSSJaMgkPm8C5WU0bH1hOPz0aAtxgEALw_wcB

https://blushboutique.co.uk/product/dressed-up-by-veromia-du635g-silver-dress-with-chiffon-overlay/

https://www.veni-infantino.com/blogs/occasionwear/modern-mother-of-the-bride-dresses

Your sleeveless option is not formal, it could be worn on a beach, do you come from a warmer climate? The mob

Yes, we get it: you’ve made your point that you hate that style of outfit. you started your post ‘no offence’ but have done nothing but say rude things about it since, over and over.

Last time I checked the U.K. was in still in Europe, And I very much doubt that every MOB in every country Europe wears what you consider to be stylish clothing.

I don’t think the dress you picked is any nicer than the first dress. Neither would be my choice for a MOB outfit.

They are mostly hideous. I don't understand fascinators either.
Luckily I won't be wearing one.

Any chance of a pic? This sounds great.

Rose Nyland has entered the chat.

Rose Nyland has entered the chat.

oops, quote fail.

It’s a uniform many women feel comfortable with, especially in a prominent role as MOTB where they’re going to be noticed. Better that than something off the shoulder, too clingy, too short, or sparkly, all of which I regularly see at a wedding venue near me.

I was having a similar conversation with my best friend recently. She’s mid 40s and her daughter is getting married next year. She’s asked me to go dress shopping with her in the summer as she’s struggled so far to find any MOTB outfits that aren’t ageing and matronly/frumpy. Everything she’s seen so far are completely not my friend’s style at all and it’s the first of her children to get married - she’s got 4 daughters: 2 29 y/o twins (both engaged and due to get married in the next few years), a 19 y/o and a 13 y/o. She’s stressing herself out that she won’t look good and feel comfortable on the day.

I’m determined to help her find the perfect outfit but will be steering clear of some of these examples!

When I got married, it was in Greece, so the main consideration for my Mum’s outfit was that she stayed cool (mid August wedding!), felt comfortable and confident and could move freely so she could have a good dance! Also this meant no need to worry about hats, jackets etc which was handy!

We found her a lovely dress (from either John Lewis or Debenhams) and then I paid for alterations so it fit her perfectly. She looked beautiful and was really happy with how she looked. I’m so glad we found the right outfit to make that happen.

They are definitely associated with an older woman ime but maybe that’s just here! Even my mum would not wear one and say “Do you think I’m that old?!”

The shop’s stock was clearly a bit dated. I’d just get a nice dress from a brand to suit your budget eg Net a Porter for higher end brands or maybe something like Phase Eight or Karen Millen if they are still around for something not so pricey. If a pashmina or hat is required, also buy them separately. Outfits like this are less matchy and more stylishly and effortlessly put together.

When I go to a wedding I get up that morning and look in my wardrobe to find something I want to wear. Regardless of whose wedding and the season and how involved I am in it. I feel very alone in this method reading the thread.