Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?

Did you research the stylist first? Although that style is definitely popular with a lot of people in the UK there are plenty of other options. It's also a class thing, the outfits you're referring to are definitely more 'working class' (not meant as a negative, just an observation)

I got married in 2002. My mum was 61 and wore a beautiful layered chiffon dress in shades of cream and coffee, with matching shoes and bag (as was the fashion in Ireland at the time) and a huge hat. The hat was her only regret as it got bumped everytime someone tried to hug or kiss her.
My Mil wore a pale pink dress and jacket as that is what she wanted

I read this thread with interest as I am looking for an outfit for my daughter's wedding.
I don't like the traditional mother of the bride outfits either. I was hoping that the op would have some wonderful outfit ideas since she appears to have such strong ideas on style and the shortcomings of people in the uk.
But the two "stylish" outfits they posted are truly awful. The pink and orange monstrosity, that is half pleated and half straight would flatter nobody. It just screams look at me I have money but no taste. As for the green and purple dress it is just horrible. It looks like a cheap throwaway dress you would buy online for a holiday and then still never wear.
It just shows that everyone's idea of style is different and it's not until you are trying (probably too hard) to find an outfit for the most special of occasions that you realise how difficult it is to find something that makes you feel amazing. (Especially when you are a short apple shape.)

Um ok, I think you've made your point.

Lucky we unstylish British women have you to point us in the right direction, eh?

Well exactly! Am not OP but that's why I don't like them.
I agree OP could word her posts better.

I’ll be in a Me & Em jumpsuit or maxi dress with a beautiful bag and an amazing pair of shoes. None of this two piece nonsense.

Killer heels is decidedly not what women of a certain age and class would wear to a religious service.

Oh I don't know. Recalling the younger Royal women at Prince Philip's funeral actually having to be helped down the step from their seats as they competed to wear the highest heels - in particular Zara Tindall. And I did have to laugh when the men sent the cars away so they could all walk back to the Castle.

I’m a fat 50 year old and just dressed myself for Mother’s Day

I look a bit shit

if I was trying to dress myself for my kids wedding I’d go for grumpy because I’m still stuck in mindset that funky fashionable is for the slim

I agree with you OP re the typical British mob style. I felt the same when I watched the British apprentice a few years ago. The women’s business attire was so old fashioned. I don’t think that of British fashion in general though, I just think formal attire has just not evolved for decades. Maybe have a look at Me+Em for your mum.

If you look at what the Royal family wear to formal occasions the clothes you don't like are versions of those.

And I meant this as a way to understand where the MOTB look has come from. If you and your mum don’t like it just pick something different. Saying you don’t like hats with formal outfits is a bit like saying you don’t like ties on men’s formal outfits. Fair enough, but you’ve missed the point about why people wear them. It’s just a social code that demonstrates a certain level of formality. How people perceive the aesthetics of that is partly influenced by the importance they place or don’t place on conforming to that social code.

I didn't wear anything like a coat dress combo for my Dds wedding and no hat I had a fascinator, I think sometimes the stereotypical outfit is a safe outfit.

British women of a certain age are more likely to be a certain shape than European.

With that often goes a loss of confidence.

The UK is much more prone to fashion trends which are difficult because thats what the shops have in. European clothes shopping is a different experience because it's less fast. The emphasis is on classic styles and fashions that don't move as fast so it's much easier to find things that work for you and have 'go to' styles. In the same sense UK fashion is geared up to younger women with older women viewed almost as past it in a way that doesn't exist in Europe.

I genuinely find shopping in Europe easier than in the UK. Even if going to chains we have here (and have some of the same lines. I think it must owe something to store layout too for this reason and choice of lines that work in multiple countries whilst others don't). It's less fussy and has less features that will date quickly.

Clothing in Europe is bought to last for longer than in the UK. That's not universal but as a rule of thumb it is. European fashion is more down to earth and practical in many respects too. It's plainer - less awful aging patterns are available. It's tailored and collections chosen to be elegant/timeless rather than favouring showing skin where it doesn't need to be and having the trim / pattern/ in fashion pattern.

This is just about everywhere across Europe too.

The UK can be more daring and that has it's benefits but this tends to go off an age cliff.

So I think British women have heads that understand this hypersexualised youth look and then they age out and go to frump because they don't know where else to go. Flowers patterns are an absolute killer for that.

It's a pet hate. I hate the UK fashion industry. It's awful. I spend my time going 'oh that would be nice if it didn't have that bit on, or was simpler'.

I think it lets women down.

So actually I do think British women get a rough time with it. They could be served so much better.

Look up ´day at the races’ outfits. Daytime formal wear rather than evening wear. These events used to require a hat as part of the dress code and it’s definitely still traditional to wear one. A jacket or coat is more practical than a shawl and it’s often too cold to not have one at an all day event, even if you don’t wear it during the warmest part of the day.

Quite. Vertiginous heels look so dated now.

Killer heels?
Why the hell would any woman want to torture themselves in such ridiculous footwear for a day.

I am jumping in just to say that it isn’t your opinion hat has hit a nerve OP it’s your delivery. I live in Europe and am married to a European ( as a Briton I am also European) and I am used to European delivery. OP your language and how you are delivering your points are rude and you can’t see it as you are not hearing it the way Britons hear it. It doesn’t matter how good your English is. It lacks nuance and it is rubbing people up the wrong way. Hitting that nerve as you say. You are just rude. That’s your problem.

I don't particularly like any of the dresses in the post above, except the one for the larger lady. The others all.look very Dynasty/Dallas to me.

They are not my style but many, many people will like them and that's good.

When I was MoG, I looked at Shibumi and plumped for Caroline Charles. Next up, I'll be MoB and who knows, except it won't be pastel - I don't do pastel and I don't do anything I won't wear again.

Because it’s the traditional female formal morning wear in England so was the default outfit for the middle and aristocratic classes in the 20th century. Women wore hats almost always and especially on formal occasions and ALWAYS in church. Weddings are often in summer (never during Lent so late April onwards) so a short sleeved dress is in order but a jacket or coat is needed in church. You will notice our dear late Queen was often dressed thus on daytime engagements, but not in the evening or when not “working”. It is what ladies if a certain age and class wore when “an outfit” was required for a daytime occasion. Killer heels is decidedly not what women of a certain age and class would wear to a religious service. Buying a new frock for every occasion is relatively recent so in the past when invited to a wedding people put their formal outfit and trotted along. Some people think it’s rude to wear bright, patterned or distracting outfits to weddings as it draws the eye on photographs. It’s not something I’ve seen much since the early naughties as it fell out of fashion as women my mothers generation (I was married in 2001) didn’t want to dress like their own mothers. I’m not part of the aristocratic classes and not very English either but I do go to a lot of weddings and I definitely saw this a lot 25-35 years ago. My guess is someone making a living selling specific MOTB is guessing their clientele is aspirational (want to dress like the Carol Middleton) and not especially clued up on fashion (or they would just go and buy something).

Mine would never have attempted it. But then she’s always admired my taste.

Good for you. You certainly don’t speak for everyone and your opinion is worth no more than anyone else’s.

I think your view of frumpy might be out of kilter with lots of others. It seems like actually you just want something less structured and a bit more informal judging by the dress you posted.

What I would say though is I remember when my mum was looking for MOB outfits (and she went for one of the traditional ones), a lot of
the brands were actually Italian or Spanish.

The other thing to bear in mind is the formality of the men and what they’ll be wearing. If you’ve got them in morning suits you probably don’t want to go to informal for your mum. If they’re in a slightly more casual set-up, you can then match accordingly.

Although I think the OP could have been less confrontational I do tend to agree with her. I live in a rural backwater and MOBs and MOGs outfits tend to be the outfits she describes. They cost £££s then appear on Vinted for £50 less than their original selling price, with the ‘worn once and got loads of compliments’ tag line.

Of course some women look fabulous in gorgeous outfits but most follow the party line, possibly through lack of confidence or the simple fact that, around here, it’s almost mandatory to go to the MOB outfit shop and get the whole lot - dress, hat, shoes and handbag. Sad really.

I think they are just more traditional formal mother of the bride outfits. They are very similar to what the royals wear.

The dress you posted is more of a summer dress in my opinion, it’s dressed up with heels and a bag in the picture but I could see it paired with sandals and a tan on a summer evening out for a low key dinner. Where as the first outfit would look way to OTT paired down. It’s formal.

Because it’s a way to get them to spend £££s on something they will never wear again. It’s just capitalism mixed in with the social pressures on women to look a certain way -a way which ultimately means them spending more - I agree with you 💯