Why is the go to mother of bride outfit a hideous stiff coat dress with hat?

It would be rude of me to say lurk moar (IYKYK) so I'll explain that on MN, writing something crossed out is used when you're making a slightly sneery aside - as if the crossed out bit is what you're thinking to yourself but it's too blunt to say out loud.

E.g. if your friend Sandra asked if you like her red or green dress best and you say the red but are also thinking both look terrible you've got no taste Sandra

It’s probably so the mother doesn’t upstage the bride!

Why is half of it crossed out?

I think that your preferred dresses are ghastly.
The red and pink sack dress has hideous colour combo and the green blotchy thing is something you might run to the shops in.

I went with a friend shopping for her
step-daughters wedding (the brides birth mother passed away afew years back) and her step-daughter lives away so we went for an intitial look.
I think there’s alot of traditional MOTB stuff about still which my friend viewed as a bit dated but there must be a market for it as there is tonnes of it available!!

my friend went for a jumpsuit with a hat and a little jacket and it looked really good and she’s worn both items since and she’d hired the hat as she knew she wouldn’t wear that again.

I think the key is get something you like not what you think you’re expected to wear I’d say.

Personally, I’d wouldn’t take inspiration from Julie Andrews curtain outfits, but if you want to put your mum in a frilly flouncy dress with high heels, crack on. Just make sure you ask her what she thinks.

@Thestarsintheskycan you show a photo or link to your trouser suit . I think that’s the sort of thing I fancy for my mob outfit later this year

Maybe you chose the wrong stylist then. It seems a bit silly to base your comments on the experience of one stylist.

This.

Heels haven’t ever gone away. They just only come out for a more formal event. Women are not wearing Louboutins every day. It’s a case of whether you are comfortable in them for a wedding. And how high?

We have a local boutique which has dresses around the 100 EUR mark, assorted colours and styles.
Plus a mother of the spouse selection of quite strange dresses with frills and floating bits around 750 EUR. They are Spanish and Italian.

If I saw a MOTB in a dress like the one the OP likes, I’d be wondering why she’d borrowed her daughter’s frock.

Whaaat? How did this go from dresses, jackets and hats people do or don’t like, to overt racism?

How about a nice cup of tea instead?

Of course European are more stylish... because they are all small minded middle class people form small towns.

I agree.

OP is right about different tastes.

Context of the wedding is everything: such as venue, location and level of formality. The Queen was a style icon, esp for a woman of her age, despite wearing this ‘stuffy’ old style which Catherine etc also looks very elegant in despite being decades younger. The cut and fit is just different for her but it’s the same style essentially. The likes of Carole Middleton’s MotB outfits with the dress jacket and hat had rave reviews from stylists etc commentating at the royal wedding. Had she worn a floaty dress at Westminster or St Paul’s etc, it would not have gone down well and I’m not sure it would have at different kinds of weddings with the exception of a beach/hot destination one tbh. I recall Sam Cameron getting criticised for not wearing a hat to that wedding, for instance.

I just wanted my mum to feel comfortable and confident.

Well, I live in London and I'm seeing them at all the events we've been to recently, both work and social, they're prominently displayed in shops and all over Net A Porter, My Theresa and so forth.

Where’s “everywhere”? I was in London last week and didn’t see a single pair.

This does seem to have been the standard for 30+ years now. Neither DH's mum nor mine wore anything like that at our wedding!

Bolero jackets should be made illegal for everyone.

I agree OP. It is a dated and awful ‘uniform’!

So why are you not sourcing your mob dresses from your European country that prefers bright beach dresses for weddings? Surely that's the very easy solution here

If you like the second dress you posted, I'd suggest a look at Saloni @Coranne. Some gorgeous, less traditional dresses there.

https://saloniworld.com/collections/dresses

I love this one!
https://saloniworld.com/products/michelle-dress-in-nerine-azure

And for those saying heels look dated, I'd take another look. They're everywhere again (and I, for one, am glad).

I don’t think either of the photos are helpful in proving your point - the first outfit isn’t at all flattering because of the cut of the unstructured ‘coat’ over and the second would be suitable for an evening event. Formal British weddings have generally not had MOTB in long dresses, nor guests come to that. More of an American custom that some have taken up here.

Depends on the general style of the wedding - the MOTB dresses offered by a specifically wedding stylist in the UK are going to be on the more dressy, formal side. There’s a whole load of customs that have built up with a formal British wedding - the MOTB being rather more formally dressed is one of them and the wearing of hats. I assume you aren’t going for morning dress and hats for the men ! However, it’s your choice entirely - if you find something more casual casual or more like a party dress , then do so.

Tailored dress and jacket combinations are popular in weddings I have been to, especially in something like a slub silk - not stiff at all, though the jacket benefits from being lined.

I had a dress as MOTB and had a pashmina at the last minute because the forecast looked dodgy - regretted it and quietly dumped it as soon as possible during the photos because it I kept fiddling with it to stop it slipping. Not such a problem when it’s slung over a coat or used to keep warm over a summer dress at an outdoor event. They are also quite dated now.

The second outfit would not suit a larger lady. It would look like a circus tent on her.

Weddings in Spain can be very formal and often in the evening (due to heat). Its also common for MoG to wear black.

There was a very long running thread a while back which (despite the OP and other posters explaining it was a Spanish wedding) went full "cancel the cheque" with repeated posters disparaging the MoG black dress choice, long dress choice and generally criticising the MoG for wearing a very standard choice at a Spanish wedding. It became a cracking pre-emptive MiL hate thread.

As you say, customs vary widely between culture and country but a clutch of posters failing to read this in an OP is a certainty 😁