To be sick of the Mother's day obsession

I think its more that any special occasion tends to highlight how shit some men are the rest of the year.

I've had a homemade card, coffee and breakfast in bed, with a very small gift chosen very thoughtfully. None of that is commercial. And my kid loves doing it.

I agree in principle, but in reality the fact I haven’t even had a card this morning does make me feel a little disappointed.

I agree. I think this is more about their relationship at all times of the year.

To many on MN (but not me), the church and/or organised religion is the root of many of the woes in the world, including Mother's Day. 😄 Those are not my words - I am merely quoting the many recurring threads about religious wars, MILs "indoctrinating" children with Noah's Ark toys, schools "indoctrinating" children with bibles, threads about Bible content being presented as fact, threads about sky fairies, imaginary friends, etc, and the importance of the phrase "some people believe".

Exactly my point. If they’re not practicing Christians, why are they celebrating?

I don’t have anything against getting your mum something nice, a nice card and showing her a bit of appreciation - I’ve done it for my mum. What I hate is how extravagant it’s become. How you have to spend hundreds, have to have the perfect day. It goes beyond celebrating your mum at that pans becomes a show of “look at me, look at how brilliant I am!”

I don’t think it’s deranged women getting worked up over a random day, more it’s the straw that breaks the camels back. A lot of women have to put up with a lot of shit from their husbands over the year whether that’s general laziness or weaponised incompetence and there is one day that the women are supposed to be put first for once and when it doesn’t happen, emotions are heightened.

Excellent post! Thank you.
Of course, all this drama also applies to all the Easter/Christmas/any other BH event. The drama of where to spend the day, who with, what's the pecking order, how much my family loves me is dependent on the number of cards/presents and/or value...
It's exhausting and so not what getting women out of the 'just get married, have children, pamper your husband until you die' expectation many worked so hard to escape from.

And how many Brits are remotely practising Christians anymore?

As did Christmas 😀

Yes but Mothering Sunday has roots in the church - not buying extravagant gifts and cards.

100% with you.

So much drama over a Hallmark Day designed to flog shit, which turns it's 'you don't love me' because they husband or partner didn't ensure they got bought lunch at a shitty over priced second rate pub (because anywhere actually good really was beyond planning).

It's commercialised misery.

I'm much happier not getting a card, than half the women who do, because I know what an utter load of bollocks it is.

Follow my lead bin it.

Exactly. It’s fine to rail against the increasing consumer slant companies put on religious celebrations (Eid seemed really commercialised this year too) but ridiculous to call traditional celebrations made up to sell cards without taking the time to understand the meaning behind it.

We don’t celebrate ‘Mother’s Day’ in the U.K. we celebrate Mothering Sunday.

The title of this thread should be something like: Has the Americanisation of Mothering Sunday driven some women off the deep end.

The answer is that actually women are pulled in so many different directions these days looking after home and family with little acknowledgment from their loved ones that they are desperate for any small opportunity to get some thanks and recognition.

It really does show what we've become as a society. I'm finding many of the threads over the last few days (about various topics) quite sad and disturbing. It's all about me, me, me and all superficial shit

There are different mums for different dramas though…

There are the ‘doing it for likes’ social media narcs. They don’t actually give a shit about anything but getting the curated photo. They’re the types that shout at the children for not smiling properly on the Facebook ‘look how much of a princess I am on Mother’s Day because I’m the world’s best mum’ brag.

Then there are the mums who shacked up with the knob who can barely function as an adult but still live in the vain hope he might muster up a trip to the card shop with the kids. No. He won’t. He still is a child Lauren. You do his washing and make his work sandwiches. You are not getting a Mother’s Day card because that’s what you get when you breed with an idiot man-child.

Then there is DIL/MIL dynamic. Always a useless DH in the middle.

Normal families just muddle through, usually have no overblown expectations, they communicate effectively and are usually flexible and inclusive of all the mums.

The very mention of Mothers Day makes me recoil. I’ve hated it since I lost my mum and went through years being upset on the day, then years of disappointment once I became a mother and my ex made no effort, years of nothing after we split when they were little. So now it means nothing to me.
However, I do think mums who have people in their life that they make all the effort for, and then this day comes and is marketed as a day to be spoiled and appreciated - of course it’s going to hurt when no one does that for them. And I do think it’s really sad that so many mums are left feeling like this.
I’m glad I’m free of that now. But I empathise (to a point).

I don't know anyone who makes a big fuss about mother's day. Personally I think it's nice to have a day devoted to mothers but different strokes for different folks. Dh and I both lost our mums in the last few months, our adult dc are planning a special day out for us and I am looking forward to it.

My DC used to give me Mother's Day cards when they were at primary school, probably because their teachers made them make one. I made all the right noises but I didn't really feel as if Mother's Day was "for" me. It was for my own mum and MIL. Now they're both gone, I was surprised when someone said to me, "What are you doing for Mother's Day?" "Well, nothing, I haven't got my mum any more." I honestly didn't realise what they were getting at at first. I certainly won't be dropping any hints!

The origins of Mother’s Day are from the Victorian era when youngsters were sent away from home to work in rich homes as servants or Nanny’s. They were given a Sunday off during lent to return home to attend mass at their ‘mother’ church. They then went to see their actual mothers as it was a day off from work.

So we can do away with birthdays as well then 🤔

I’ve become so insecure about the presents I get my parents.

i don’t earn a lot of money. I wish I had more and could give them more, but I can’t. For my mum’s gift this year I’ve got her a lovely loccitane gift set, some aromatherapy shower steamers and a garden ornament. I thought this was nice, but I know that it’s not enough

It’s just become another commercial thing to brag about or bitch about when it doesn’t go your way!

That's what makes it so perfect for MN / Social Media. I think a lot of mums just want pictures for Facebok to show how 'blessed' they are.

There'll.be lots of cringeworthy humble bragging tomorrow. Tragically some women will be deprived of their right to show off on social.media. Poor things.

That's awful. What a spiteful man.

Did you bother with Father's Day?

The whole thing is ridiculous. It’s not like the kids are paying for all the things these entitled mothers seem to want anyway. I see a lot of people also treating it as an excuse to get smashed as well, which I find odd.
I also don’t get why it’s become so much more of a bigger deal than Father’s Day either. To be fair DH isn’t that bothered by Father’s Day and is usually just hoping for nice weather so he can do a bbq.

I agree. I expect nothing more than a card and some chocolate which if no one genuinely has time to get I don't mind getting. My mum gets the same and we take her for a coffee and she's very grateful.

Fathers's day same for DH.

Valentine's day same plus takeaway.