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To think that most relationships would improve if women stopped mothering their partners?

31 replies

FunnyMentor · 29/03/2025 19:55

If you treat him like a child, don’t be surprised when he acts like one.

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Crikeyalmighty · 30/03/2025 16:45

@TeapotTitties oh I don’t disagree- a fair few Italian men seem to want full on being looked after like mama - that’s why Scandinavia for me was a real eye opener- saw same in Sweden too -

stayathomer · 30/03/2025 06:24

This is true but don’t forget that women also try to take charge, the ‘I’ll do it’ can as likely come from the ‘if you can’t do it right I’m doing it’, this is from someone working at a checkout where time and time (and time and time!) again a couple get to the checkout and a woman elbows the man out of the way, or grabs stuff from him to use her own method, snaps at him ‘that doesn’t go there’ etc.

And yes I know weaponised incompetence is a thing, but I don’t believe it’s that much of a thing!

Millyjanice · 30/03/2025 06:19

FunnyMentor · 29/03/2025 19:55

If you treat him like a child, don’t be surprised when he acts like one.

Isn’t this a blaming of women for men’s’ bad behaviour ?

Cl0cks · 30/03/2025 06:17

God I’d hate petty resentful relationships like this. What happened to working as a team and appreciating what each other does.

pinkstripeycat · 30/03/2025 06:13

SnowFrogJelly · 30/03/2025 02:15

Wow man haters are out in force tonight

Calm down. It’s just a discussion. Folk are allowed their opinions.

pinkstripeycat · 30/03/2025 06:11

My FIL actively encouraged DH to be lazy. He’d say to me “I can’t believe you are expecting DH to make his own tea,” when DH was going out and was eating before the rest of us.

Also he’d say to me “What you want to do is: paint the kitchen, fix a door etc. DH works hard enough already.”

FIL did everything for MIL, cooking, baking fruit and meat pies (I never knew a man who baked), cleaning, gardening, DIY, shopping, washing,
the lot. MIL wasn’t lazy and did things but FIL wanted to look after her.

No idea why FIL didn’t want his son to be the same. It’s taken me years to get DH to finally do things. I just stopped doing his washing, cooking etc so he had to do it. He’s still a bit hit and miss. Cooks for himself and no one else. Have a week off work and do nothing. Only shops for things for himself unless I know he’s going and give him a list.

My boys are very independent thankfully. They don’t understand why their dad is so lazy.

Flutterbees · 30/03/2025 06:09

Bex5490 · 29/03/2025 23:00

Or to reframe…

Most relationships would improve if men stopped behaving like pathetic man-children.

Much better, thanks.

HouseCaptain · 30/03/2025 05:58

Bex5490 · 29/03/2025 23:00

Or to reframe…

Most relationships would improve if men stopped behaving like pathetic man-children.

In my observed experience it is absolutely this.

JHound · 30/03/2025 03:12

SnowFrogJelly · 30/03/2025 02:15

Wow man haters are out in force tonight

That’s your imagination.

SnowFrogJelly · 30/03/2025 02:15

Wow man haters are out in force tonight

Whatonearthdoiknow · 30/03/2025 02:02

Bex5490 · 29/03/2025 23:00

Or to reframe…

Most relationships would improve if men stopped behaving like pathetic man-children.

Exactly! But you do have to set your stall out at the start. My now DH started off being a bit pathetic when we first moved in together. “Wasn’t sure” how the washer worked, “ wasn’t very good” at cooking. I told him he was going to have no clean clothes and eat a lot of sandwiches then because I wasn’t doing it all for him, why would I? We both worked ft. He sorted it sharpish and now does more than I do a lot of the time.

outerspacepotato · 30/03/2025 00:57

I think quite a few relationships would founder.

Some people go straight from their parents' home to a partner or spouse and expect that same level of caretaking from the partner rather than being an independently functional adult. It's not just men expecting to be taken care of either.

Isthisrealomgwow · 30/03/2025 00:51

TeapotTitties · 30/03/2025 00:49

You're not stuck with them though.

Stop mothering them and they'll see themselves out the door eventually.

My earnings would not cover the bills, even with CMS (which wouldn't cover childcare fees) so for now no upgrade

TeapotTitties · 30/03/2025 00:49

Isthisrealomgwow · 30/03/2025 00:38

Because they are like used car sales men...amazing with the initial offering and sealing the deal, but lack any form of aftercare.
By then it's too late, you're stuck with a useless banger that you can't afford to upgrade.

Edited

You're not stuck with them though.

Stop mothering them and they'll see themselves out the door eventually.

Maitri108 · 30/03/2025 00:42

Isthisrealomgwow · 30/03/2025 00:38

Because they are like used car sales men...amazing with the initial offering and sealing the deal, but lack any form of aftercare.
By then it's too late, you're stuck with a useless banger that you can't afford to upgrade.

Edited

Not always. In many cases they're useless, lazy twats from the start.

Isthisrealomgwow · 30/03/2025 00:38

TeapotTitties · 29/03/2025 23:52

There are far too many pathetic man children out there.

But why are so many women attracted to them?

That's what I find weird. It must be like literally dating a child.

Because they are like used car sales men...amazing with the initial offering and sealing the deal, but lack any form of aftercare.
By then it's too late, you're stuck with a useless banger that you can't afford to upgrade.

TeapotTitties · 30/03/2025 00:24

Crikeyalmighty · 30/03/2025 00:22

@TeapotTitties I must admit when we lived in Copenhagen I saw an awful lot more men taking kids out on their own and managing children when families were out together or clearly doing domestic work around the house and home, it was noticeable

Ok but you'll see an awful lot of men doing the same thing in all different countries.

And probably just as many doing far less in all different countries.

Crikeyalmighty · 30/03/2025 00:22

@TeapotTitties I must admit when we lived in Copenhagen I saw an awful lot more men taking kids out on their own and managing children when families were out together or clearly doing domestic work around the house and home, it was noticeable

TeapotTitties · 30/03/2025 00:12

What does not being British have to do with it?

There are good and bad men all over the world.

Some are immature dicks and some are not.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/03/2025 00:09

I married a man, not a boy. And he was trained to be that way. Why aren’t dads preparing their sons to be men? I certainly prepare DD to be a woman.

Of course he’s not British…

Maitri108 · 29/03/2025 23:55

There's a thread at the moment which is very enlightening. A woman asked her husband of two decades to arrange a surprise for her birthday and she's had scores of women scoffing at the idea that a man would be capable of such a Herculean task.

nachoaverageusername · 29/03/2025 23:55

Men need to stop acting like children, man children are not attractive.

ShouldIEvenBother · 29/03/2025 23:54

Bex5490 · 29/03/2025 23:00

Or to reframe…

Most relationships would improve if men stopped behaving like pathetic man-children.

THIS^

I do think it would be a glorious time to be a divorce lawyer though if all the women married to pathetic man-children were to call time on the marriage.

Onabench · 29/03/2025 23:52

0/10

TeapotTitties · 29/03/2025 23:52

There are far too many pathetic man children out there.

But why are so many women attracted to them?

That's what I find weird. It must be like literally dating a child.