Where are the squeezed middle? How do you know you are being squished?

Another vote for Dave Ramsey (ish). Think most people replying have been there with the juggling. One salary only is mega hard and it’s frustrating to know there are so many people worse off but how precarious the gap is to being one of them.

I won’t suggest you should have an emergency fund or get your debt paid off (if you could do that you wouldn’t be out of money at the petrol station!’

But there was a time I started a debt and outgoing spreadsheet and at the start of the pandemic there were months where I was in the red before I’d even been paid. The pandemic put a halt to my spending and things improved, I’ve since had lots of pay rises and I’m in a lot better position but really feel for you constantly feeling squeezed as I remember it well! Sounds like you’re pretty frugal already but no one should need to be a complete saint!

Here’s some things that have and still help me

Realising my debt was unsustainable. The months I was in the red I’d take out more debt. My payments were in the 100s each month. I called all my creditors and asked for time where they’d freeze interest and lower my payments for a few months. This helped and could be a good temporary option if you are in the same boat but it was too late for me, I couldn’t get on top of it so I went to StepChange and got put on to an arrangement. My credit is obviously impacted but that was a hit I was willing to take.

Second I started finding little side hustles by using all the cash back sites like TopCashback, tuck, AirRewards etc, and I buy £400 Tesco vouchers on Tuck every payday (Get £20 cashback) and means I don’t run out of money for food during the month.

I started earning money on Swagbucks, Clickworker and Field Agent, but they’re time consuming and with kids I doubt you have much free time, but I’ve earned £1000s from them over the past 5 years.

I started to make an effort selling the things I don’t want on ebay/vinted/fb marketplace instead of throwing it away.

It’s not much but can get an extra £20-£100 each month depending on how much effort I put in. But the main one for me was getting debt down to begin with, then after getting on the property ladder I went to step change. Obviously if you’re already on a 0% credit card and your payments are manageable then that’s not helpful.

Feel like it’s harder and harder to have a comfortable standard of living and sounds like you’re doing a great job with your kids and sorry you’ve had that happen at the petrol station!

Also second Dave Ramsey. Tbere is a UK Facebook page which is helpful.
My DH lost his job and Ive had to take control. The amount we spent before on tops ups at Tesco, little treats throughout the week at the petrol station and coffees was a real eye opener.

I get it OP. There are two of us earning a combined £60K, living in London, two children. We barely get by and something small like a car repair or fine throws everything off. Our credit cards are maxed out and our emergency fund gets eaten into every month. You sound like you’re doing a really good job OP, give yourself the credit you deserve. It’s hard going, hang in there. Better times will come.

It sounds really tough and actually you are trying to so a lot on a small salary. I would advice carrying cash and not paying by card. That way you can avoid overspending. Also try to limit impulse buys like pringles by doing 1 weekly shop at somewhere like aldi or lidl and making sure to include some cheap treats like pringles.

Glad to hear this, OP.

I’ve been there (even though I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be), and I’m afraid I don’t have much advice, but I hope things get better for you.

I think if you are paying high interest so the balance is not going down quickly and the £200 you are paying monthly is putting you in financial difficulties then you should consider a DMP. If you have a poor credit rating and have been in debt for a significant time and your budget doesn’t allow for emergency savings or essentials like fuel or food then a DMP may be the best option.

I don’t think you are squeezed middle. £30k single income with a mortgage, car and 2 children is probably low income. If your debt repayments are so high you cannot afford to live you may need to consider a DMP. I suggest you post on MSE debt free wannabe forum. Are you paying interest on your debts and do you just pay minimums?

I get it. To the outside world you look like you are easily managing, that you have it all together (and most of the time you do). But the reality is that, although in our minds we should be able to afford what we want within reason, we have to live within budgets with little room from manoeuvre.
Please don't beat yourself up. It is so easy to do.
Life is a balancing act and we all make rash purchases we can't really afford. You are human like the rest of us.
I also try and keep emergency cash in the glove box and in my bag (not loads just £20 or so). I try and forget it's there but it's come in handy more than once. If you could do that it will give you a bit of confidence that a situation like today won't happen.
I bet if you looked around you would be surprised at how many of us are in the exact same position you are in.

This sort of thing really depends where you live. Im in the south east near london and its just impossible to live on 30k with kids. After tax pretty much all of it would just go on rent/mortgage & utilities.

Do you get any CMS?

It sounds to me like you're doing a fantastic job, I earn 2k a year less than you and have 1 child at university (full loan but I help where I can, pay phone and TV etc) and although I've never had this situation, it's one I could definitely be in!

I have been slow to climb a short and not that rewarding ladder but expected a better standard of living than what I have now from my income, but the col has seen to that! I've just had my brakes done, month before was oil service and next month I need 4 new tyres 😬.

'treated' myself to a meal deal thing from Asda, few pence less than a tenner for a meal for 2 with starter, main, side and dessert, have had half the main for my tea (on my own) and the rest of that in the freezer and then the side and starter is for tomorrow. But it felt wildly extravagant and will do tomorrow as well as it's 'nice' food the likes I don't have very often!

The kids won't remember the pringles, they'll remember what you did and realise as adults how tough it was and how much you love them because of what you do to support them.

Yes, had same happen to me more often than I like to think about. App on phone said I had x amount for petrol then went down when I went to pay - signal it seems hadn't deducted previous shop - I had to ask someone to borrow £20 and drive back over there (they allow 48hrs in most places and they had a laminated card with their account details on) and they said it happens all the time where people are £5 short or so and not noticed limits. I have to do a 4 hr drive twice a week and it's costing £75 to fill the tank - now a fair amount more expensive than my council tax every month.

Hats off to you, you’re doing an incredible job. Something like this happened to my mum when I was young, as I’ve grown up it’s made me really appreciate how tough she had it and what a strong person she was, as are you

Hey, you’re not alone.

I’m also a single parent and nearly a year ago discovered Dave Ramsey’s baby steps (google it, there’s a book and websites and stuff).

I am now two months away from being out of debt and I know where every penny goes. Spent many years not really knowing and slamming everything on the credit card. I don’t want to be in this piss poor situation any longer, and I’m soon going to be able to have savings and be on top of things.

Are you not getting anything from the other parent, OP?

Everything is just so expensive at the moment.
I have also seen stuck in the garage- had to drive away, with a letter from the police. Horrible.
Nearly the end of the month.

That sounds really tough op but on that salary and your situation you are not the squeezed middle. It's bloody good going you've managed to get by and run a household on 30k alone.

This was me last week in Morrisons, fortunately it was shopping and put a couple of things back. I actually did have enough (just) in another account but panicked. I put £20 per month into a linked account and have that round up thing that puts change into that account but by the end of the month it is always used.
It is soooo difficult paying for everything on one mediocre wage, I totally understand

Just sending you a massive hug, OP. I'm so sorry about the pringles and I hope on payday you get to have your pringles and brownie and can take out £20 cash to pop in the glove compartment so it never happens to you again.
We're all out here doing our best and you're juggling a lot on a single salary.
💐

Also, I’ve also had a very embarrassing situation at the petrol station. I must’ve zoned out when filling up once, I looked at the price and it said £50, I was like WTF I’ve not been standing long enough to put £50, so I decided that I must’ve paid for the person before me as well. I went into the desk and explained, I was told it was impossible for it not to shut off when left for longer than a couple of minutes but I was adamant I’d not been stood there long enough. The lady could see I was getting upset and asked me to turn my engine on to check the fuel gauge, lo and behold it was full to the brim. I was so embarrassed and apologised. The lady said she has seen and heard it all over the years, so basically what I’m saying is, don’t beat yourself up about the petrol station experience, they will have had worse!

I’m not sure many people would want to invite a lodger in when you have young children, it wouldn’t be particularly fun for anyone!

OP I just want to say you definitely need to speak to citizens advice to find out what benefits you’re entitled to, if you haven’t already.
Also I am too a 30k earner with 2 DC, although I do have a DH who earns about 45k, however we’re in that horrible high childcare phase which feels like it’s been going on forever (over 4 years) and we have £1 in our account this evening. Everything has gone up hugely, food, council tax, now water. Disposable income is surely a thing of the past for a much larger percentage of people than previously. It’s worrying how much debt his country must be in.

Fair play to you - you’re putting a roof over your heads alone while working and showing a brilliant example to your kids of hard work.
Okay so it went a little awry today but see it as a one off reminder to keep checking. It’s very tough doing all that on 30K. You have my sympathy and utter respect.

I would consider getting a lodger in perhaps - you might need to convert the living room if you don't have a bedroom but in the short term it might be helpful to get you back on your feet again. Or consider Airbnb a room for short periods e.g. a week or weekend here or there perhaps, you could share with a kid? It's not ideal but that's what I would be doing!