Page 3 | Friend posting things to my parents house

HattenO · 2025-03-29T15:29:21+00:00

Hi all. I'm British but we now live in north of France (my DP is french). I have a friend here who is Canadian but also lives here in France. She is aware we are going over to the UK to visit and stay with my parents over Easter. She asked me a couple of weeks ago if she could order something online from the UK which can only be delivered to a UK address and if she could get it posted to my parents house and I could collect it for her when we are all over at easter. No worries I said, I'll let my parents know and I'm sure that's fine. I gave her the address to use. She replied later that day to say thank you and she had ordered 3 things which would be delivered separately. Okay that fine I said (although she hadn't told me it was 3 things beforehand). My parents let me know when each of the packages had been delivered - then messaged me to day a 4th had come.Before I got round to messaging my friend about this - she messaged me saying I hope you don't mind but I ordered just one more thing. I said yes I know it's already arrived you have all 4 things at my parents already. Today my dad messaged me to inform me that yesterday a 5th parcel arrived for her and today a 6th parcel. I knew absolutely nothing about it. My dad is pretty unhappy. He feels like his house is being used as a parcel delivery Depot for someone he doesn't even know so now he's narky with me. How unreasonable am I being to be feeling bloody annoyed with this friend and how would you handle it. Truth be told I'm not very good at asserting myself in situations like this and I don't want to be impolite. Thanks in advance

BooneyBeautiful · 30/03/2025 22:52

oviraptor21 · 29/03/2025 15:48

You will need to open all the packages before you even think of taking them through customs.

This.

BooneyBeautiful · 30/03/2025 22:50

Loopytiles · 29/03/2025 15:31

Would message friend saying she’s taken the piss and that your parents will turn away any more attempted deliveries.

This.

pipthomson · 30/03/2025 22:18

She is taking the piss but you are enabling the situation

pipthomson · 30/03/2025 22:15

I think you need to nip this in the bud allowing it to continue is not good for either of you
she is taking the piss but you are enabling the situation!

EdgyGreyUser · 30/03/2025 21:55

The friend is Canadian and probably hadn't even visited the UK and more unlikely to so in the future.

YourWildAmberSloth · 30/03/2025 21:49

I think you and your friend were both taking the piss. You didn't ask your parents before saying yes to your friend. You said yes and then told your parents afterwards. Cheek, the pair of you.

Kelly1969 · 30/03/2025 21:34

HattenO · 29/03/2025 16:00

Thank you to everyone for your replies - they are all really appreciated! I needed a little help because I can be very timid when it comes to asserting boundaries. All replies have been helpful thank you. I definitely need to say something to her now (as in today) before she ordered a 7th! I can't understand it to be honest - I don't know what it all even is but as others have said - And my DP said this morning - I need to open them before taking them through customs. I mean I don't suspect anything dodgy is in then but of course it's still a very bad idea go take unopened parcels not ordered by yourself through customs.

And also we are flying over not driving so yes - all these bloody parcels have to fit in our luggage

Omg she’s been so rude!
depending on size of items I would tell her to make her own arrangements for posting them on and tell parents to refuse any more parcels!

FrozenFeathers · 30/03/2025 20:02

HattenO · 29/03/2025 16:00

Thank you to everyone for your replies - they are all really appreciated! I needed a little help because I can be very timid when it comes to asserting boundaries. All replies have been helpful thank you. I definitely need to say something to her now (as in today) before she ordered a 7th! I can't understand it to be honest - I don't know what it all even is but as others have said - And my DP said this morning - I need to open them before taking them through customs. I mean I don't suspect anything dodgy is in then but of course it's still a very bad idea go take unopened parcels not ordered by yourself through customs.

And also we are flying over not driving so yes - all these bloody parcels have to fit in our luggage

I would inform her that you won't be taking any packages home for her. She has abused your- and your parents' kindness. I would send all these packages back asap. I would also tell her to cancel this 7th package.

If she ends the friendship over this, so much the better. Let the trash take itself out.

Buffs · 30/03/2025 19:39

The fact that you will have to fly these back makes this beyond cheeky! Airlines are becoming increasingly strict about luggage allowance. The excess luggage fee is a fortune.

Bitofanchange · 30/03/2025 19:35

CF of the highest order!

Gcsunnyside23 · 30/03/2025 19:16

That would annoy me so much, she's really taking advantage. Are you going to be able to fit it all in you luggage? If you haven't messaged her yet do so asap and tell her you'll not get able to fit this all in your luggage so she will have to pick

Single50something · 30/03/2025 19:05

That would irritate anyone I'm sure. Plus how big are the packets? Even if you drive over and back you'll have your own things to take etc.
My dad lives in france and whenever we go we get given things to take and it can take up a decent space each time:(

notimagain · 30/03/2025 18:56

In fact I'd be telling my friend I will be opening everything to check it myself and not bring anything dodgy through customs.

Absolutely right to check it - but the main reason why airlines are keen are asking at check-in if you are carrying something for somebody else has nothing to do with customs or smuggling..

Here’s the why:

https://tsi-mag.com/ann-marie-murphy-hindawi-affair-30th-anniversary-review/

https://www.nytimes.com/1972/08/18/archives/women-duped-into-taking-bomb-to-their-el-al-flight-women-are-dupes.html

gardenflowergirl · 30/03/2025 18:48

You should also ask your friend what's in the packages as you don't want to be arrested at customs if they're found dodgy. In fact I'd be telling my friend I will be opening everything to check it myself and not bring anything dodgy through customs. You need to protect yourself and your family.

ClairDeLaLune · 30/03/2025 18:34

HattenO · 29/03/2025 16:00

Thank you to everyone for your replies - they are all really appreciated! I needed a little help because I can be very timid when it comes to asserting boundaries. All replies have been helpful thank you. I definitely need to say something to her now (as in today) before she ordered a 7th! I can't understand it to be honest - I don't know what it all even is but as others have said - And my DP said this morning - I need to open them before taking them through customs. I mean I don't suspect anything dodgy is in then but of course it's still a very bad idea go take unopened parcels not ordered by yourself through customs.

And also we are flying over not driving so yes - all these bloody parcels have to fit in our luggage

They don’t all have to fit in your luggage. Any that don’t can and should be left behind. She’s absolutely taking the piss, the CF!

Planetmonster · 30/03/2025 18:26

@HattenO ! We want a live opening thread once you get to your parents

Mumof3confused · 30/03/2025 18:25

Bring back the first three and return the rest to sender. Then never speak to her again. WTF

TheTavern · 30/03/2025 18:10

Do you know what’s in all these packages? Has you Dad sent you a photo of them?
I think your friend has a nerve and is abusing you kind nature.

Gravytanned · 29/03/2025 22:14

Once you’ve opened it all, weigh it in a box and tell her how much postage will be.

Absolutely no way would I be filling my luggage allowance for her shopping. One or two small things, fine but this is massively taking the piss.

Is it clothes or bulkier stuff?

outerspacepotato · 29/03/2025 22:06

3=6 on what planet? Sorry, I don't have room for all the stuff you ordered. Send money to reship to you or they get left behind.

You're taking parcels that you don't know the contents of on a plane???????? WTF. You need to open and see what you're carrying.

Eldermilleniallyogii · 29/03/2025 21:49

Your friend is a CF

ftp · 29/03/2025 21:42

Yes tell her no more! Ask her why she is doing this, as she knows you will have a luggage weight limit.
Ask parents to refuse delivery if received after 3 days from you telling her
Yes check all parcels to see what you can/should take back. Then weigh etc any remainder and ask her to send you/parent an Evri label to post them on.

NoWayRose · 29/03/2025 21:26

Every day a new type of CF!

JustSawJohnny · 29/03/2025 21:25

HattenO · 29/03/2025 16:00

Thank you to everyone for your replies - they are all really appreciated! I needed a little help because I can be very timid when it comes to asserting boundaries. All replies have been helpful thank you. I definitely need to say something to her now (as in today) before she ordered a 7th! I can't understand it to be honest - I don't know what it all even is but as others have said - And my DP said this morning - I need to open them before taking them through customs. I mean I don't suspect anything dodgy is in then but of course it's still a very bad idea go take unopened parcels not ordered by yourself through customs.

And also we are flying over not driving so yes - all these bloody parcels have to fit in our luggage

You'd be perfectly within your rights to tell her she's ordering too much, but if you find it uncomfortable you can just say tell her that 7 items is a lot to expect you to fit in luggage and please don't order any more.

You have the perfect out.

Cornishclio · 29/03/2025 21:16

Yes they are cheeky and that would irritate me. First you need to open them so you know what they are. Tell her in no uncertain terms not to order anything else and if you don’t have room in your luggage they need to sort out a courier or all the stuff will go down the charity shop. Very inconsiderate.