No wedding invite for my

It doesn't sound like you are very close to the couple. It's not a judgement on your relationship. Weddings are expensive and they have presumably prioritised people they are closer to. Fine to be disappointed but I think you need to let this one go.

Mumsnet is so weird sometimes: I don’t know anyone in real life who would think this is ok.

YANBU @Wonderworld25 . It’s just rude. If they can’t afford to have you both then they shouldn’t have either, or cut their cloth better.

i don’t think I’d go if my long term partner was excluded

I can never understand why anyone would be invited to a wedding just becausae they are the partner of a guest.

Why do you want to go?

Stop taking it so personally, they are obviously trying to keep costs down and do a cheap wedding, you’ve met them twice, you aren’t there friend, your husband is. Why should your husband turn the invite down, again it’s not a personal dig so he doesn’t need to stick up for you. Me and my husband didn’t invite any plus ones to our wedding either, it costs around £70 per head and would have doubled the cost of the day, apart from one guest who’s wife messaged me on my wedding day to ask why she didn’t get an invite (I ignored her message and her husband apologised for his wife’s weird behaviour) nobody else had a problem.

I think it's very rude to not invite you. I can't imagine not inviting a friend's long term partner.

There are a lot of weddings threads and sometimes I can see both sides. But in this instance I can't. If you were a girlfriend of a few months then fair enough, but you are a longstanding partner, you have children. So i would have thought a +1 was appropriate.

If I hadn't been included in these circumstances then I probably would not go as an afterthought. I would plan a nice day out with the kids, or see if grandparents or someone would mind the kids for the day, and plan a nice day with my friends.

I wouldn't try to make my partner not go, if he wanted to go.

Agree witb first poster. You are not unreasonable to feel a little hurt but don't force yourself in where you're not wanted. We can't always be invited to everything. Your partner didn't make the decision so shouldn't be punished for it. It also now clear to you where you fit in with this couple.

I don’t think you can say anything to him. People are in very difficult situations with wedding’s these days as the industry has gone completely mental. If both bride and groom have large families and they’re paying by the head, they’ve likely had to make some difficult choices. Also if other friends from the same group do not have plus ones, I can see they don’t want to make exceptions.
Ultimately this one is out of your hands and I don’t see what your DH can do either. Just let him go and wish the couple well. Can you book something nice for you to do that day? I love a day to myself when I get one!

Are other partners going?

I wouldn't be bothered by this. It's their day to celebrate with whoever they want.

How many people are they having to the day part?

If you’ve only met them a few times as a couple it seems OK for them not to invite you for the whole thing, unless you personally see the groom quite a bit and get on well.

It would be wildly unreasonable to try and make him ask for an invitation for you.
It wouldn't be unreasonable to decline to go just for an evening if the offer arises.

How big is the wedding? If its close family and friends only then I think you are being unreasonable, you don't know them well. If it is a big wedding and all the other family and friends have a plus 1 then you would be justified in feeling a bit offended. But I still wouldn't challenge them on it. Who wants a pity invite anyway?