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Original poster

No wedding invite for my

164 replies

Wonderworld25 · 29/03/2025 14:08

So I've been with my partner for almost 10 years and we have lived together the dull duration of that time. We have 3 children together and are in a very secure and content relationship. His best friend whom I know is getting married and only my partner has recieved an invite to the wedding with his name on it. There is no mention of me apart from a verbal conversation convo with them where his friend said that I'm allowed to come for the evening, but still no official invite for the evening. I have not mentioned anything to my SO. Yet. As time has gone on, I feel a little disappointed in my partner for accepting the invite for himself only for the ceremony without his SO joining him. I totally understand its their day and i am trying to see it from their perspective on cost etc, howver I personally feel that my partner should of stood up for me considering we are in a very long term relationship. I will add that I have met his friend and partner a few times and have been out together as a couple twice however I don't have their contacts as my friends and I appreciate it is my partners friend. How would other people feel about this and what would you say to your OH without sounding like a crank 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
Wonderworld25 · 29/03/2025 16:07

Civilservant · 29/03/2025 15:44

You’ve not answered posters’ Qs about the size of the wedding.

Big wedding, over 100 to the daytime and 150 to the evening. So I've heard

OP posts:
Original poster
Wonderworld25 · 29/03/2025 16:06

Lorie94 · 29/03/2025 15:47

Same thing has happened to me and I posted on here, my partner has been invited to a wedding and I've not been invited as a plus one, I was disappointed and my partner was very blasé about it too

How did you navigate it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wonderworld25 · 29/03/2025 16:04

Radra · 29/03/2025 14:45

It is rude not to include you but it's also weird to me that over ten years, you have only met your partner's best friend a few times. What's behind that? I wonder if they think you don't like them

I'm currently asking myself the same questions believe me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wonderworld25 · 29/03/2025 16:02

saraclara · 29/03/2025 15:47

You don't.

Show quote history

I quote... "How would other people feel about this and what would you say to your OH without sounding like a crank 🤔"

I'm quite clearly asking for others people views on this particular relationship issue and how I can discuss this with him without sounding silly. The fact that everyone seems to be skimming past this and choosing to attack me speaks volumes. I highly doubt alot of people on this thread would say these things in such a heartless manner in a face to face setting.

OP posts:
DisappearingGirl · 29/03/2025 15:53

Hmm, if it was me I guess I might feel slighted if other partners were invited.

However if they invited a particular "friend group" but without partners/kids then I wouldn't mind that. As it's the difference between (say) 5 people or 20 people.

I think weddings are so expensive, plus people marry later so have more friends and acquaintances, and they all have partners and kids, so you can end up with potentially loads more people than you can really invite.

Sassybooklover · 29/03/2025 15:50

On a personal level, I wouldn't invite someone to my wedding who I knew had a long-term partner, they not only lived but had children with, and not invite the partner. To me, it's rude. Children I understand, not inviting, as let's be honest most would be bored. If they weren't in a position to invite you both to the ceremony, then they should have given an evening invite to you both. After all you are a couple, and should have been invited as so. As it stands, you have a choice, you either attend the evening reception (I assume your husband will be attending this later, after the ceremony) or you don't go, and leave him to attend both on his own. Yes, you have every right to be upset, but ultimately you can't change anything. It's not your partner's fault, and if he wants to attend the ceremony, then he should do.

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 15:49

saraclara · 29/03/2025 15:46

If I'd only met my husband's friend a couple of times over ten years, I wouldn't be remotely bothered not to be invited. Nor would I expect my husband to be annoyed on my behalf.

I really don't understand the posters who think it terrible.

More than a friend ! Been together ten years, three children fgs! I’d be very hurt, especially so if my OH went without me.

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 15:47

Doesn’t matter if they’d never met her. They’ve lived together for 10 years, and have three children! They’re a committed couple. Why does the absence of a marriage certificate make her less important? She is definitely his significant other. Not only is it snubbing, it’s bad manners. My OH would never accept an invitation like that. Either we both go to the wedding, or just the evening do, if cost is an issue to the couple. That half and half invitation is an insult.

Lorie94 · 29/03/2025 15:47

Same thing has happened to me and I posted on here, my partner has been invited to a wedding and I've not been invited as a plus one, I was disappointed and my partner was very blasé about it too

saraclara · 29/03/2025 15:47

Wonderworld25 · 29/03/2025 15:39

That's exactly what I asked in the thread. I asked for advice on how/should I speak with my partner about it....

Show quote history

You don't.

saraclara · 29/03/2025 15:46

If I'd only met my husband's friend a couple of times over ten years, I wouldn't be remotely bothered not to be invited. Nor would I expect my husband to be annoyed on my behalf.

I really don't understand the posters who think it terrible.

Civilservant · 29/03/2025 15:44

You’ve not answered posters’ Qs about the size of the wedding.

Poonu · 29/03/2025 15:42

OP are you married ? Not clear if you are.

Sifflet · 29/03/2025 15:39

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 15:32

They should both have been invited to the wedding, or just the evening event or neither. They have been together a long time. Snubbing the OP is very rude.

Edited

They’re not ‘snubbing’ her, they’re just not inviting someone they’ve met only a handful of times!

Original poster
Wonderworld25 · 29/03/2025 15:39

Ooorhead · 29/03/2025 15:28

and are in a very secure and content relationship.

I think when you start a thread about feeling disrespected by your partner and how “blasé” he is about your feelings… perhaps you need to question your view on your relationship

That's exactly what I asked in the thread. I asked for advice on how/should I speak with my partner about it....

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 29/03/2025 15:37

I think it is bad form of them not to have invited you as well because you are the other partner in a long and established relationship.

If I were your partner I'd be pointing that out to them and if it wasn't changed then I would consider not going either.

Not sure if I am a good yardstick though. I'm not the biggest fan of weddings so wouldn't really care whether I went or not.

RominaDina · 29/03/2025 15:32

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 15:32

They should both have been invited to the wedding, or just the evening event or neither. They have been together a long time. Snubbing the OP is very rude.

Edited

This ⬆️

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 15:32

They should both have been invited to the wedding, or just the evening event or neither. They have been together a long time. Snubbing the OP is very rude.

Sifflet · 29/03/2025 15:30

Wonderworld25 · 29/03/2025 15:14

Yes. I think it was just more, maybe an eye opener to how different me and my partner are in terms of how we view ourselves as a couple, as he didn't see anything wrong with it and of course I don't want to act like a brat over something like this. Has been nice to see other people's perspectives on it without making it a big deal IRL

Show quote history

Can you explain why his response to the invitation means he views you differently as a couple to the way you view you? I mean, are you saying that your vision of you two ‘as a couple’ would mean you demanded an invitation for your partner if roles were reversed, or that, if it wasn’t forthcoming, you would have refused to attend solo in high dudgeon?

Because that doesn’t say anything about visions of ‘a couple’ to me, OP, it just sounds melodramatic and juvenile.

Ooorhead · 29/03/2025 15:28

and are in a very secure and content relationship.

I think when you start a thread about feeling disrespected by your partner and how “blasé” he is about your feelings… perhaps you need to question your view on your relationship

babasaclover · 29/03/2025 15:28

How can it be his best friend if you’ve only met a few times in 10 years? If they are that close tho should be getting an invite

RominaDina · 29/03/2025 15:26

Outofthepan · 29/03/2025 15:23

That’s exactly what the happy couple should do!

But when I got married we also said no gifts. Everyone invited with partners, buffet dinner, dancing, everyone happy

Edited
Show quote history

Sounds great! A buffet is fine. You don't need a 3 course meal with silver service.

Worriedgrandmasss · 29/03/2025 15:26

Outofthepan · 29/03/2025 14:30

Mumsnet is so weird sometimes: I don’t know anyone in real life who would think this is ok.

YANBU @Wonderworld25 . It’s just rude. If they can’t afford to have you both then they shouldn’t have either, or cut their cloth better.

i don’t think I’d go if my long term partner was excluded

Totally agree.

Itiswhysofew · 29/03/2025 15:24

Do you know if other partners have been invited? If yes, then you've definitely got an axe to grindGrin

Weddings can be a minefield & baffling. Don't even try to understand, is my advice.

Outofthepan · 29/03/2025 15:23

Eyerollexpert · 29/03/2025 15:11

So the happy couple should "cut their cloth" not have the wedding they want to accommodate friends SO. I am a bit out of touch but my DD1 wedding cost £90+ per head 8 years ago. So basically £200 ish per couple. What it costs now IDK. But not many guests buy a really expensive present ( not that we are that kind of ppl) would all the SO pay £100 to attend,????

Show quote history

That’s exactly what the happy couple should do!

But when I got married we also said no gifts. Everyone invited with partners, buffet dinner, dancing, everyone happy

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