No wedding invite for my

A bit odd I suppose, but YABVU to expect your partner to ‘stand up’ for you. What do you want, for him to demand a plus one invite?

So your husband sees his “best mate” twice a year just for birthday celebration

You have socialised with the couple twice in a decade

this is barely an acquaintance

and the root of your entire OP is that YOUR want to get married but your DP doesn’t want to get married and you’re pissed off and hurt.

Exactly @CantStopMoving

I know in an ideal world, you’d invite a couple, but there are a lot of valid reasons why someone wouldn’t

I think OP would actually have a valid point if she was the only partner from a close friendship group not invited. But that isn’t the case at all.

one of the first rules of good etiquette is to never to point out other people’s poor etiquette!

OP has no idea if partners or spouses of other friends have been invited.

Well each to their own.

I’m guessing you don’t live local to one another if your partner sees his best mate twice a year for a birthday night out?

The world works with people having free will to choose how they want to celebrate their marriage and who they want to invite to their wedding. People socialise differently- some couples only hang out with other couples. But plenty have separate friends ( and take turns to look after the kids) and socialise separately.

im surprised at some of these responses tbh. Usually on mumsnet, if someone is complaining about not being invited to the wedding of their best friend or sibling, there’s a massive pile on and everyone tells them how entitled they are. But here we have someone who has met the couple twice complaining!

I think it’s very self involved to think the lack of an invitation is a comment on the value of your relationship. Very main character!

it’s not your wedding, OP. Leave them be. If you get married one day, you might realise what a dilemma it can be trying to decide on a guest list.

Nothing you can do imo but I think this is super rude . My partner would not go without me and I wouldn’t go without him but if he didn’t contemplate this then I don’t think it’s fair to ask him that either .

Yes, I would agree. Perhaps you need to talk to him again about this? It's probably why this is making you so unhappy.

So he knows you’re very keen to get married after a decade and three children together

and he says….?

Another thing “not relevant”

but maybe is

Agree. Apparently it’s the dp’s best friend, surely his partner should be invited? Is he not best man?

Many years ago, DH was invited to the meal of a wedding; our DDs and I were invited in the evening only. DH had been part of their church ceremony and I had sat on the church balcony (church services are open to anyone) and been part of seeing them get married. I wasn't in the least offended that our DDs and I only had evening invites. The evening is the fun part - no hanging around whilst photos are taken, no speeches, no polite chat with people you don't know at a meal that takes forever; instead the evening is a ceilidh where everyone relaxes and lets their hair down.
Edited to add that we had paid one of the happy couple to teach one of our DDs in a particular skill so they knew our DDs.

I think this might also be wrapped up with how you’re feeling re your partner and this issue.

you want to get married. He’s not bothered. And he’s not bothered about you not accompanying him to the wedding.

Doesn’t even sound like he and his best friend are close!

and he’s not his best man?

I would expect my partner to decline the invite and say he will go in the evening with me. And id do the same. Completely up to the couple who they invite and they may have their reasons which is fine, but you also get to decide if you accept or not. Speak to your partner about it as he may not realise you feel that way.

So op are we right in thinking that in a decade you’ve invited them to one event that they couldn’t attend?

and as a couple only ever socialised…. Twice with them?

Would you like to get married? Or is it not something you and your DP are bothered about

Isn't your partner going to feel weird if everyone else is there as a couple? The fact he's not questioning it is what would upset me tbh.

Many years ago, before we were married, DH was invited to the wedding of friends of both of us - I wasn't. We'd been together for several years. DH turned down the invitation as he didn't want to go without me, as it wouldn't be fun for.him. We're still together, and the couple whose wedding it was don't know if we're married or not as we didn't invite anyone to our ceremony!

I think couple are entitled to ask whoever they want so definitely wouldn’t say anything to them…. However, not inviting partners is incredibly rude (unless you’re inviting group of colleagues/football team etc and decide not to bring any partners of one big group) so in your situation, I would assume my partner wouldn’t go so I don’t think you’re unreasonable to have that expectation of him or at least for him to ask you your preference.

What a load of bollocks! I have been to a few weddings on my own when DH hasn't been invited. He has also been to one without me. Weddings cost a fortune!

If you’re not married, then people won’t see you as committed, regardless of how long you’ve been together or how you view yourselves as a couple, so IMHO, YABU.