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Original poster

New house - who gets biggest room?

335 replies

Catseyes2025 · 29/03/2025 09:14

So in the process of buying a new house with my partner. I have three children and he has one. The new house has 4 bedrooms. 2 good size and 2 smaller. He wants his daughter to have the second biggest room. She does not live with us full time, she lives with her mum. I don’t feel this is fair as my two youngest will have to share a room and now it looks like they will have to share a smaller room. This is totally grating me. He won’t budge on this as he says he’s promised her this room because she wanted it. I will be honest his daughter rarely gets told no. I guess it’s the joy of being an only child. I’ve really struggled with this as she has become quite entitled and really can’t handle if she doesn’t get her own way.
I literally don’t know how to handle this and tbh I’m dreading having to live with her - any advice would be greatly appreciated

OP posts:
Sparsely · 29/03/2025 11:28

There’s a reason his first marriage didn’t work out. I think you may be seeing it right now. How dare he treat your children in this obviously unfair way? Please don’t move in with him.

fiveIsNewOne · 29/03/2025 11:21

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His daughter isn't the eldest.
The eldest is OP's and will get solo occupancy of one of the smaller rooms as should the DP's daughter.

So both bigger rooms will be shared and both solos will be in the smaller one. Sounds fair to me

MILsAreHumanToo · 29/03/2025 11:19

RanyaJerodung · 29/03/2025 09:49

He can't prioritise her over the other children. That's not fair

Show quote history

It's also not fair that the child is the product of a broken home and has to flit from one house to another.

BlumminFreezin · 29/03/2025 11:18

And whether she lives there full time or one day a week is irrelevant.

Two dc sharing get a bigger room than one dc, regardless of how often they're there or how old they are.

MrsSkylerWhite · 29/03/2025 11:18

Stay in your own house and spend nights with each other sometimes.

BlumminFreezin · 29/03/2025 11:17

The bedroom sizes vs occupants in your case op is the easiest conundrum I've seen.

Two x larger rooms - One for the two dc sharing and one for you and dp
Two x smaller rooms - one each for your eldest dd and his dd

ANY sensible person would land at this IMO. It's not difficult.

If he's pushing for his DD to have a large room it's a huge problem because he's unable to think fairly or objectively at all and is willing to trample over every other child in the house in favour of his, even when it's blatantly unfair and illlogical to do so.

This will only be the start of your problems.

StopStartStop · 29/03/2025 11:16

Stop. Don't go ahead with the purchase. Protect yourself and your children from the entitled step-child and her enabling father. He's setting a pattern for your lives.

MILsAreHumanToo · 29/03/2025 11:15

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BelloItalia · 29/03/2025 11:11

shellyleppard · 29/03/2025 11:05

Old saying.... I want don't get. Maybe your partner and his daughter need to hear this. If she was living with you all the time then yes. But part time.... Nah. Guest room, like it or lump it

Even if she was living there full time she shouldn’t get the biggest bedroom!

AthWat · 29/03/2025 11:10

yomellamoHelly · 29/03/2025 11:06

The two sharing get the biggest room, so if she's in there one of yours shares with her. (My work to their favour as they then get sole occupancy for some of the time.

Make a child share a bedroom with someone they hardly know and have a big age gap with?
Not sure that's a very sensible idea.

askmenow · 29/03/2025 11:09

Catseyes2025 · 29/03/2025 10:59

yes my 2 will share in the bigger room. Can I add the 21 year old is mine. His daughter is mid teens.

Have you had a discussion about the housekeeping contribution your adult daughter will be making if she is going to be living in the home?
This could be another topic to give timely consideration before difficulties/ misunderstandings develop.
And sets the bar for future adults wanting to stay at home….his daughter for instance.

yomellamoHelly · 29/03/2025 11:06

The two sharing get the biggest room, so if she's in there one of yours shares with her. (My work to their favour as they then get sole occupancy for some of the time.

Eze · 29/03/2025 11:05

My mistake on boys rather than girls.

shellyleppard · 29/03/2025 11:05

Old saying.... I want don't get. Maybe your partner and his daughter need to hear this. If she was living with you all the time then yes. But part time.... Nah. Guest room, like it or lump it

honeylulu · 29/03/2025 11:03

Catseyes2025 · 29/03/2025 10:59

yes my 2 will share in the bigger room. Can I add the 21 year old is mine. His daughter is mid teens.

Phew! Well that's the problem solved then. Presume your sharers will have a room each once extension done.

RedToothBrush · 29/03/2025 11:03

Kids sharing get bigger room. Add to that, the other child isn't there full time and its not a discussion.

Its tough shit and its a hill to die on.

Eze · 29/03/2025 11:03

As an aside, as you’re not married make sure you ring-fence your money through a solicitor and that you’re named on the mortgage.

Friend of mine split up with her partner of 20 years and as they weren’t married, and he paid the mortgage, he was entitled to kick her out. Didn’t matter that they had kids and she’d just ploughed 10k of her money into the house to do it up.

Reallyneedthosepositivevibes · 29/03/2025 11:02

I always presumed it was the universal unspoken rule that those sharing get the biggest room to share.

In my household growing up biggest rooms went to eldest.

ScoobyBooby · 29/03/2025 11:02

Children living with you full time should get the next biggest room . Seems crazy to have that room empty half the term while your own children are squished into the smaller room , the new house is meant to benefit your own children too x

ImmediateReaction · 29/03/2025 11:02

Catseyes2025 · 29/03/2025 10:59

yes my 2 will share in the bigger room. Can I add the 21 year old is mine. His daughter is mid teens.

Why are you moving in with this man who tells you what you are all going to do. He sounds awful.

RanyaJerodung · 29/03/2025 10:59

You've said that the girls are 10-21. How old is his daughter?
You're not going to be extending the house anytime soon, so this arrangement will be for a while.

Original poster
Catseyes2025 · 29/03/2025 10:59

yes my 2 will share in the bigger room. Can I add the 21 year old is mine. His daughter is mid teens.

OP posts:
BelloItalia · 29/03/2025 10:57

Eze · 29/03/2025 10:56

When he said short term fix does he mean it’s only for a short term that she gets a bigger room than the boys?

Short term fix should be boys share bigger room now and once the extension is done you can all have a talk on who goes where.

There are no boys? They’re all girls

Eze · 29/03/2025 10:56

When he said short term fix does he mean it’s only for a short term that she gets a bigger room than the boys?

Short term fix should be boys share bigger room now and once the extension is done you can all have a talk on who goes where.

BelloItalia · 29/03/2025 10:55

Is the 21 year old his? If so surely the “contact visits” should be coming to an end anyway?!