New house - who gets biggest room?

It just seems unfair that his daughter will have her own room at her Mothers house, and a big room at your new house, equaling 2 rooms of her own. Two of your children are expected to have just half a room each. It sounds very selfish of her and her Father.

This. I'd pull out now. Clearly this man prioritizes the wants of his DC above the needs of yours. This won't work unless he is rational.

Because the other DC are having to share because an adult DC wants to live with their parents. I don’t think that’s unreasonable? 21 is more than old enough to move out.

Why would you kick your child out to give siblings a room each?!

Please don't be naive. He will say an extension is planned but it will never happen and if he's adamant. Then the sharers can still take the bigger room until the extension is complete

Don’t buy a house with this man.

Your 21 y/o DD should move out and the remaining children can have a room each.

the OP's 21 year old DD gets one of the smaller rooms and there needs to be a discussion if she is ot a FT sudent of contributing to bills, The OP's partners DD gets the other smaller roo as she should not share with her half siblings, the two siblings sharing get one of the bigger rooms and so do OP and her partner
so both large bedrooms have 2 people and both smaller rooms have 1 person

This is logically and fair nd if your partner and his DD can't see that this is both logical and fair I would pull out

Did you actually read all the Ops posts properly? I didn't see any mention of a home office. There are 4 'children', not 3. One bedroom for the parents. One room for the eldest child - who is also an adult aged 21. One room which will need to be shared between 2 of the OP's children and one room for the Daughter of OP's partner who lives with her own Mother but does spend time with her Father too

I think I'd handle it by reconsidering this relationship. Two people (of any age) sharing a room and living in the house full time need a larger room more than a single person who's not even there all the time. If this man can't see that, I'd question how I'd get on with him. His tendency to want to spoil his child would seal the deal for me. I'd find that infuriating to witness and suffer the consequences of. Stay with him and you'll have to perfect the art of biting your tongue.

I would be re- thinking the whole relationship.
Being in a relationship with a man not willing to compromise for the sake of you and your children has no future.

No.

You and partner get the biggest room.

I take it your two are same sex? They get the next biggest room.

She gets the smallest room as she's not there all the time, and there's only one of her.

Sounds like she has him round her little finger. Guilt?

Have your very sensible reasons and rationale ready - and stick to it.

Brace: Be prepared for you to be painted as the bad guy; by him to her, and by them both to her mother.

There is no way his daughter should get the biggest room!

Really? You resent supporting your own DC? As a parent its your job to support your DC, if they were unplanned then thats unfortunate but its still your responsibility.

If your DH was a SAHP then the whole family benefits from that support including teh "breadwinner".

If he was able bodied and bone idle then you have a legitimate grievance about him but the logical action is to LTB and drop funding for the dead weight. Staying and begrudging in that situation was a choice as well and will affect the DC over time.

@Loubelou71 OP’s eldest daughter and her stepdaughter will have their own rooms. The youngest 2 of her children will be sharing a room. OP and her partner have now agreed that youngest 2 will have the bigger room. Her 21 year old was already going to have one of the smaller rooms.

The issue initially was that it was suggested by her partner that his daughter will have the bigger room as that was what she, the stepdaughter, had chosen which implied OP’s youngest two would be sharing a smaller room. This of course was a red flag especially as her partner was seemingly not budging and didn’t seem to be having a discussion. But it now seems that OP is in equal footing financially with her partner, and that that they can have open discussions, and her partner has agreed that OP’s youngest two daughters can now share the bigger room which means his daughter will get one of the smaller rooms. There has been some mention of an extension but I’m not sure about the room allocations after that.

Then I don't know and I apologise - this one I have not thought about.

It's a no brainer, if he can explain a logical fair reason, not "but I said she could" then there's a discussion but he obviously can't. The full time, sharing siblings get the bigger room, it's as simple as that. A big room left empty half the week is just mean spirited to the other two who have to share, it wouldn't change even if she was there full time if she isn't sharing, she gets privacy and doesnt need a big room to boot.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's tough being the breadwinner and having others totally reliant on you. I hope things are better now 🙏

No need to be sorry - I agree with you. Of course you are right and what you write is absolutely how it should be, but I speak from bitter experience of being the only breadwinner - we are all anonymous here, so I tell the truth - I begrudge my own, my dh and my dc, my own flesh and blood, I begrudge them certain things (won't go into details) as the only breadwinner - I can only imagine what happens in the head of those with stepchildren, if there is disparity in incomes. I am just being honest.

Of course you are right and what you write is absolutely how it should be, but I speak from bitter experience of being the only breadwinner - we are all anonymous here, so I tell the truth - I begrudge my own, my dh and my dc, my own flesh and blood, I begrudge them certain things (won't go into details) as the only breadwinner - I can only imagine what happens in the head of those with stepchildren, if there is disparity in incomes. I am just being honest.

Nor is it fair to the rest of the family that this girl can dictate how the house runs just because her parents are not together. She'll be playing that card forever if she gets away with it this time.

And what if it's even, as op has said it is, in one of her few posts? (Not a criticism of op btw). It's not so hard to read all ops posts when there aren't many.

I am sorry. I don’t wish to be rude. But in the politest way possible, that’s a load of rubbish and it’s a very toxic way of thinking.

Because of the step daughter who is there part of the time.

They're a family though. Isn't it about sharing rather than wealth?