New house - who gets biggest room?

You can't move in with this guy, sorry.

The smallest room goes to the child that doesn’t live with you full time. Clearly. Anything else is silly

I'd go a step further. Your eldest has the biggest room. Your younger dc have one of the smaller rooms each. The bigger room has twin beds. When step sister comes to stay, the younger ones take it in turns for her to have their room.

You are all part of a family and everyone has to share. It's part of family life and no child should have less favourable treatment than another. If that's not negotiable for your partner, the blended relationship isn't sustainable and I wouldn't proceed with identified frictions from day one.

I agree with most other posters - she should have a smaller room and if DP cannot see this I would serious reconsider moving in together.

Really, you’ve not even got to the cohabitating stage and you are disagreeing over something that is really a no-brainer but demonstrates that he will put the welfare of his child over that of two of yours (in fact, as I assume your older DC doesn’t get a look in on the larger room, either, then all 3 of your DCs are being prioritised as less important than his… and they live there full time?).

I would say that the writing is on the wall already. This is why blending families really does not work. I’d continue to live separately and only consider buying together once the children have all left home.

I’d say it’s very rare for more than two children to share a room in the UK nowadays.

How long until we see the threads about sharing finances fairly, and then how to split the equity when the house is sold at the end….

Rethink what you are doing OP, this is probably just the start.

I know exactly how to handle this. His DD does not get the larger room as that would be ridiculous - and if he does not accept that, the house purchase is off. And probably the relationship as I would have next to no respect for a man this stupid.

I agree. We need to know the ages and sexes of the children and the sizes of the rooms.

You can prioritise and be reasonable.

Of course not! The sharing kids get the biggest room! Who the hell does your DH think he is “not budging”
tell him to fuck off

I said she might feel shes an outsider ,Only because she is visiting a home where there is a family of 4 and her dad. I'm not saying she should feel like that or her dad should think this way. I'm saying she is the outsider in this situation and as a parent you might be a bit irrational to try and make up for this .

He's already unilaterally decided and 'promised' this room to his daughter?

Are you sure you want to buy a house with this man? You'll be financially trapped with him.

He can't prioritise her over the other children. That's not fair

Sometimes there is an argument that’s relationship breaking. This is one.

Biggest room- two youngest (age? Sex?)
Second biggest- daughter (age?)
Third biggest- parents
Smallest- oldest child of OP. (Age?)

Although loads of assumptions on above- including ages, size of rooms, sex of kids, location of room, need etc biggest room likely to have ensuite too (should that go to youngest?)

I know many won't agree with above - but there are so many factors at play.... House layout, ages , sex of OP children etc etc

And it's clear she is always going to favour her children... as she should, and as he should. Why is it him getting the hard time, it is absolutely his responsibility to prioritise his child.

No but based on years of reading this particular brand of MN nonsense I think I can imagine 😀. Is it still running?

Why can't she feel like she belongs unless she has a bigger room than two other children who are sharing? That's not being sidelined, that's just being treated fairly.
Why on eart do you "feel for his child"? She shouldn't expect anything diffferent.

Absolutely not. The child living there part time gets the smallest room,it's only fair

This too. It doesn't sound like you are in a good place to be sharing yet. Unless this is a minor issue and resolved by putting the sharers in the larger bedroom you might want to rethink the arrangement before its too late.

True! Anyone see the thread about the girl with the en suite?!

Giving his daughter a bigger room is not for her benefit, it's to assuage his guilt at splitting up with her mother.

If he is of the mindset that he is always going to spoil the daughter to make up for the split then this is just the tip of the iceberg as he will create in her a monster.

It's very selfish of him and I would not be involving my children in his mess.

My advice is do not get a house with this man and just date him without the kids being too involved.

this

Its purely the fact that you are moving in together and he is making decisions without you on the living arrangements - you can't have a family where one person tells everyone else what is happening and will not budge on it.

It will not work out and will build resentment, he is setting it all up to fail

What if the daughter wanted the biggest bedroom in the 5 bed house, and other children had box rooms?