Different wedding invites for bridesmaids partner

Don't have an evening do if money is tight. Spend the money on the day and invite everyone.

Why should people be expected to wait around while a couple have their reception?

i really feel sorry for the partners of the wedding party, they basically stand about all day hold handbags!

the bride will want her bridesmaids to be with her most of the day, she will want your attention on her.

and i fully understand why, if they have never met your partner before, why he's only invited to the night do! money is tight and they want as many close friends as possible celebrating their special day, not some random person they have never met before.

I think it’s extraordinarily rude and so would all of my good friends. They’d be shocked.

This is very rude of her.

Id want to back out myself but to be honest this is nuclear. I have no time for this sort of nonsense and bad friend behaviour in my life though.

Well at least this pair met each other and didn't spoil another couple eh!

I agree, it's so strange to invite someone for the ceremony, not the reception - off you go, but you're allowed back for the evening. Not great.

Everyone asking if he would want to go is missing the point. He might not want to go - but he should have been invited.

Because it's convention. Social norms. Best mates get a full plus one.

She's trying to save money, but still getting a sizable gift. I think it's rude and there have been several similar threads on here about non invitees to the reception. If I was your partner, I wouldn't go.

Yes this exactly. I can be away from my long term partner, holidays alone, but this is about respecting the friend who has been with her partner for 3 years.

I have mixed feelings here . If she had a large wedding ie over 100 people and/ or you are being expected to travel to it and possibly stay the night I think that your partner should have been invited for the whole day. In fact, I don’t think ‘evening do’ should really apply for anyone but locals. If however it is a more intimate and possibly mainly family affair and/ or in the area that you all live then different invitations can apply.

I think as you are bridesmaids and will have lots of bridesmaid duties then it would be preferable for me and my dh if he only attended in the evening.

I dont think it is unreasonable for any bride amd groom to give evening only invite to someone they have never met even if it is a bridesmaids partner. It will be due to numbers and/ or cost. Either way would rather partner came when I would be able to spend time with him rather than when I am busy with bridal party and would be worrying if he is having an OK time.

Only friends we had both met got an invite to our wedding. To celebrate us as a couple, guests first need to know us as a couple.

Lol

YOU are important to the bride, she has never met your partner and if you were so concerned about them creating a friendship you would have introduced them long ago.

The bride has never met your partner and as you’re a bridesmaid your attention and energy is going to be elsewhere for the day which would essentially leave your partner stood alone all day.

Leave him at home and enjoy your day with your friends.

If she doesn’t budge in this, I’d re-think being her bridesmaid tbh.

Agreeing to be a bridesmaid is a FAVOUR to the bride not you. She needs to return the favour by including your partner in the whole day.

I think it’s a little rude, mostly because you are bridesmaid. But they have probably done him a bit of a favour.
Think of it from his point of view though. He won’t know anyone and you’ll be busy with the wedding and all it entails.
He should go to the evening do of the wedding, it’s a time when he can finally met your friend and it’ll be a little less awkward for him since your duties will mostly be completed.
Hanging out and relaxing in the hotel for the morning doesn’t sound that bad.

The op is a bridesmaid though. Surelt you'd have a concession to your no partners rule if the person was part of the bridal party?

My partner doesn't really want to attend which I totally understand , although I would love to have him there ofcourse ( and for selfish reasons it would be much more ideal as I don't feel comfortable driving the distance so it will be the cost of a train there and back , looking at close to £100)

Your partner doesn’t want to go, the bride doesn’t want to invite someone she doesn’t know so where’s the problem? Stop being selfish it’s not your day. If I was the bride I would of invited your partner as you’ve been with him for 3 years but the logistics of transport is not a reason to invite someone to a wedding

she's invited him to watch you 'do your bit' as a bridesmaid, then invited him to join you when your duties are done,
and you and he are free to dance etc

Im sure he can fill the time inbetween.if he cant, dont go

I think it’s a little rude - acceptable perhaps but not something I would do. My dear friend initially only invited me to her wedding and not DH (she knows him fairly well and her now husband came to our wedding several years prior). I decided I’d still go and act normally, so as not to upset her, though in the end she invited him without being asked. We both went and had a great time.

In your shoes, I’d be tempted to “return the favour” if you end up marrying your partner. That’s because I’m petty though!

I don't know at what point in time this became ok. It's crazy to me. You're her bridesmaid and the invitation should extend to your partner. If they can't afford to include people's partners then they need to scale their wedding back.

You have 2 choices. Ho on your own. Or as the invites dictate.

Was it a mistake?