Different wedding invites for bridesmaids partner

No, it's a problem when you can't actually afford to have a three part wedding, so some people get excluded.
I realise that this is probably a cultural thing and many British people like to have these tiers. Although I've been to 2 Scottish weddings which were fantastic, and everyone was included in the whole wedding.

It’s astonishing to me that anyone thinks it’s okay to leave a guest loitering around having only having invited him to 2/3 of the day! Particularly the partner of three years to one of your bridesmaids!

It would never happen here, because it lacks basic manners, etiquette and being hospitable. The idea any bride can just bypass common decency because it’s “her” day is really next level self absorption to me.

If you can’t afford the wedding then don’t make it so unbearably long and drawn out, consider the comfort of your own guests.

Three parts is a totally standard wedding. Ceremony, reception, evening do.

It only becomes a problem when people choose to take offence at being invited to something and see it as setting an expectation on them. I've always taken it at face value; that my presence is welcomed at the ceremony (as it's public anyway if in a church) and for the evening do if it suits me. Not that I'm excluded from the other bit.

If it suits me I go, if it doesn't I dont. But I don't take any pointless offence about being invited.

Our Niece invited my Husband & I to the wedding reception only.
We do not see her often, so not a issue.

When we arrived to a meal at the reception, we noticed that our Daughter & partner,Nieces & nephews were placed on a table at the very end of the venue.

Not really happy, as we had traveled almost 400 miles there & back.Due to the seating arrangements had little interaction with our Daughter,Nieces & nephews who we were fond of.

We were seated at a table were we did not know anyone! It all seemed a bit calculated.

We are in our 60s, our Daughter in her 30s thought it a bit off!

The bride sent a email the following month to say thank you for coming/Money gifts.

We chose not to send a reply!

Op my thoughts are you have been invited as a bridesmaid,very poor manners not to invite your Partner!

I would reluctantly attend as a Bridesmaid,like others have mentioned,then revaluate your friendship with the your friend.

Weddings are expensive. So don't have three parts to it.

Weddings are expensive and it might be she had to cut your partner from the day to allow someone she knows well to attend. I think the issue is these ‘destination’ weddings where everything takes place in the same remote-ish venue somewhere in the country as evening guests don’t really work in that setting. I would just go myself, break up the drive a bit and enjoy your friend’s day

It sounds quite a long day, three separate dos!
I guess she's never met him and numbers were limited etc. could he not just linger round in the bar away from the actual bit he's not invited to? Then come back in for the evening bit. Or take a nap at the hotel? I know it sounds a bit of a faff. Or otherwise maybe he'd rather not go.

I guess it's up to him. It's not like you can't say much about the brides choices on her wedding day.

Also, PP saying bridesmaids are "working" and so can't hang out with their partners... Sorry but what are you expecting from your bridesmaids on the day of the wedding? I've been a bridesmaid three times, the vast majority of any "work" was pre-ceremony. After you walk down the aisle for your bride, you have the prerequisite group photos and then after that you mainly just keep an eye on her to make sure she's OK throughout the day, getting her water or helping her with her dress in the loo if necessary. But you're not unpaid labour standing at the ready... Or at least you shouldn't be. My bridesmaids were chosen so they could be honoured with me as my closest people, otherwise they too were guests who I wanted to enjoy the day!

If your partner has never met the bride or groom and won't know anyone else at the wedding, I can see why it makes sense for him to have an evening invite as you will be busy with bridesmaidy stuff during the day. Some people (like me) think the most important part of a wedding is the ceremony so would like an invitation to that. It's up to you and your DP whether you accept or decline but I wouldn't see it as a big insult, he could decide to just come for the evening do.

This is exactly what I think. I’ve been invited to weddings before and this has been the case purely due to numbers. I found out a few husbands who weren’t going during the day so they met up and went for a few drinks in between. It’s a long day not knowing anyone and I would be perfectly happy either relaxing by myself and going at night for the party or going for a drink with others until the reception

A ridiculous "rule" in this day and age. Many have very long term partners, have children, and never marry. Why should these relationships not be considered a legitimate as those who have decided to spend money to have a wedding? And I say that as a married woman.

So? You still invite them.

Surely a bridesmaid is a guest?! She's not forced labour 😆

Long term but not found the time to meet the bride and groom in 3 years?!

I always think it’s a bit of a snub to ask people to come to recognise your love if you’re not willing to recognise theirs by inviting their partner.

That said, you’re not a guest at this wedding - you’re working as a bridesmaid. So he would effectively be on his own most of the day, especially if he doesn’t know other people.

In the circumstances I think it’s fine, but don’t blame him for staying at home.

We had a very small wedding and just one best man and best woman. My best woman was my best friend. I can’t imagine having someone whose partner I hadn’t met in 3 years anyway, but I also wouldn’t be buying him dinner either. Her “partner” (they’d been together a couple of months) came to the evening do. She met her now husband 3 weeks later.

Absolutely fair for him not to be invited, with you busy all day it would be god awful for him when he doesn’t know anyone. Why can’t you drive it? How far away is it?

Your bridesmaid has a long term partner? You bring.

All day invite or evening invite. If you attend the ceremony then you attend the wedding breakfast x

No ring, no bring? Seems nomal.

This

Serves her right.

God I hate weddings.

MNs being antisocial?! Where did you get that from, @Ponoka7 ? Not this thread. Everyone is very sociable because they're so inclusive.

As a BM you are busy all day, he'd be on his own. Who do you drop for someone you've never met? Close friend or a family member? It's a free party in the evening and accommodation already paid for. Apart from most MNrs being anti social and not enjoying other people's company, I don't know why it's considered a snub. He gets the fun part.

@dogpool that's the right approach and the best sort of wedding!