To think we absolutely have to ban social media for under 16s.

like I said, some SM sites do cotton on that an account is underage (either because of content or because it was reported or flagged by someone else) and ask for confirmation of age. You get parents taking pics of themselves, uploading card/id pics and jumping through hoops to get their kid’s account back. This is something that actually happens, even though most just make a new account .

There are already rules, regulations and restrictions (even if pretty crappy), and a lot of parents don’t care, or worse , they are actively involved in their child having a SM presence.

Absolutely. DS did a speech about this at school. Social media is the biggest cause of mental death issues and suicide amongst under 16s. Why we allow this to continue is bizarre.

I’m all for it but how would it be enforced?

I think there is a growing push back from parents against allowing kids access to social media and smartphones and I hope that continues.

The argument for saying they need to learn how to use some social media at 13 is nonsense. For what purpose?! They’re all ready very tech savvy by then without needing to add social media into the mix.

It makes me think those parents don’t understand the addictive nature of it and how certain ads and posts are targeted at children. It’s not really something that can be managed safely because there’s very little control over what you’re seeing.

The best thing to do right now with younger teens is for parents to have close control of their phones and not allow them access to social media. Check messages. Don’t let your kids have their phones in their rooms over night. I’m shocked at how many kids that I’ve spoken to are up till all hours gaming or on their phones! Parents need to take action here too.

The ban seems to work with us. They do have long school days, including Saturdays though. Because the kids have limited opportunity to use their phones, the social media hasn’t really become a “thing”. They are all too busy to be using it to any great extent.

I agree with this so much, I think things need to change around social media use for everyone.

But banning it for under 16 or under 18, they would just find ways around it. I think social media needs looking at as a whole because I think it is just as damaging for adults in many ways too.

So if kids have dumb phones how would parents be able to track them to see if they go to correct bathroom, it would not surprise me if some parents want to microchip their children

It would basically need a dumb phone for kids or slightly more tech savvy parents. The home routers should be able to bar access to social sites and VPNs for each phone owned by a minor even if they have worked it how to access when on mobile

hiwever even if sone kids bypassed it the fact that it was illegal would make it easier for parents to know what to do and try to enforce

I keep seeing 'schools need to ban phones' as though it's only in school that kids are using phones.
I don't know of any schools who DO allow phones. Most have an 'if I see/ hear it, it's confiscated' rule. That's why I don't see the point in a law banning phones in schools. Most kids follow the rule. The hardcore refusers have to hand them in every day. It's always something watching kids leave school at the end of the day, switching their phones on with the relief of a smoker having a first fag.

None of this puts the onus on the tech companies to be responsible and protect kids, though.

I’m guessing there is a way social media could be properly restricted.

A Couple of years ago DP downloaded a betting app with a friend and a few scary months followed where he developed a problem. He had a big win of £3,000 to start with but used it to keep gambling. He opened several betting accounts and blew £2,000 of the money.

I didn’t feel I could really say anything as it was his money and his winnings coming from his account, he didn’t touch the joint account but he was becoming addicted and it was lucky he realised before it got too far and was soon desperate to stop.

All the sites needed proper age verification to join including uploading photo ID and then taking a current photo of himself on the app with designed recognition software.

When he wanted to stop he used a self exclusion site, we tested it later and he couldn’t log onto any betting sites, it came up with a message he was self excluded on the log in page and he could go no further, even if he tried to set up another account it recognised him and he couldn’t proceed - this was before entering identifying factors like his address and card details and using a different email address.
I also blocked access to the sites on the WiFi admin page which I password protected, even if he’s been tempted to use it he couldn’t access the sites.

If it’s possible to use age restrictions on these sites and has the ability to stop access to some users then surely they can do the same with social media sites?

I have older DC in their 20s who grew up when smart phones were just coming in but before TikTok etc. I also have DC now at secondary. My approach has always been education and support rather than banning, and it has worked well.

My teens now have exactly the same real-life freedoms as their older siblings (and all their friends) had at that age, and are into sport and seeing friends. They even prefer print books, magazines and newspapers than reading on screens!

The biggest thing that would reduce phone addiction is parents unclenching and allowing their DC to experience the real world rather than being afraid of it.

So it would safe to have peoples passport details sent to lots of different online companies?

My just turned 15yr old is still on, I wasnt going to ban her. We told her if they banned her account just make a new one with an adjusted birthdate, friends parents were the same

She found her tribe, her safe space on SM during her bullying saga - which was all in person at school, nothing online.
and she could stay in contact with interstate friends easily, one who is now overseas so SM is so much easier for them

Exactly this. It’s much better to teach children responsible use rather than banning it. The teens I know with a total ban are the ones who just do it in secret.

I was at secondary in the early-mid 2010s so in the infancy of Instagram and Snapchat when they were more 'basic', and even then SC was a ceasepit, dick pics, topless pics etc, which were then subsequently screenshot. Not to mention the addiction of 'streaks' (are they even a thing anymore?!), so people would take a photo of random stuff in classes/breaks. Any future child of mine I would highly limit access to social media.

The current approach to alcohol doesn’t work, though. The U.K. has very high levels of alcohol abuse and harm despite very strict rules.

I have relatives in Spain, where alcohol is a normal part of life that DC see and experience from a young age. Here, it is always those who’ve never had alcohol who go crazy when they go to uni.

Last time I was over, a group of parents with prams arrived in a bar at 10pm on a Monday evening. Social services would be called here! Spain has much lower rates of alcohol abuse.

Interesting, thank you. My kids are all too old to benefit now, unfortunately they grew up in the thick of all the new advances.
I knew 'dumb" phones existed, but they are too restrictive. Didn't realise there were already some halfway measures. I'd looked at some restricted "simple" smartphones for my non techy mum, but the restrictions were all based on software.

it’ll only take ONE of his friends to have a smart phone with unrestricted access to the internet to show him content I do now want him to see. How do I control that?!

You can’t control that unfortunately. This is why I believe schools should ban smart phones, and parents need to warn their children that this type of thing will happen, and what to do when it does.

Yep!
My DS is 7 so a little too young for me to worry about this just yet - although I still very much do worry about it.
I plan on being very strict with phones and socials when he gets older. I’ve always been a parent that never believed in him having his own portable devices, shock horror - he actually has to sit and engage with us when we eat out etc.

What worries me is that when he is old enough to start playing out with his mates, it’ll only take ONE of his friends to have a smart phone with unrestricted access to the internet to show him content I do now want him to see. How do I control that?!

How would it work in practice though? What would the punishment be? How would it be enforced?

Most SM platforms are 13+ and you still get kids as young as 7/8 on them , which is actively facilitated by their parents. Not just that, but when the account is flagged as underage and blocked, parents use their details to get it unblocked , or they just make a new account.

If “banning” and rules really worked there would be no under 13 on SM.

I can’t see how this could be implemented in practice.

Quite rightly smoking, vaping and alcohol are out of bounds for under 18s

This only shows that a ban wouldn’t work. Teens still do these things.

Personally, I think that the answer lies with parents and schools. If a school bans smartphones, it becomes much less of a “thing” with the children. Our school doesn’t allow smartphones until 6th form and, on the whole, this works really well. There’ll be an odd one or two children caught with a phone, but the vast majority abide by the rule and certainly don’t use phones during the day.

As parents, we can stop children using certain social media. Parents just need to stand firm, be savvy about how some teens will try to circumvent the rules, and ensure they check their phones intermittently. If children are kept busy with homework, sport, music etc, they have less time to waste on social media. The screen addiction starts younger and younger. Screens are increasingly used as babysitters. There is no need for a child to have a screen in a pushchair or in a restaurant for example. If a child is brought up where screens aren’t the default entertainment, they are less likely to view them as such when they are teens.

ETA. I think a total ban almost makes it more tempting for teens as well. Personally, I think that introducing them gradually (with some of the less harmful apps for example) and teaching responsible use is better. It’s like alcohol etc. At uni, those who had parents who were very strict about alcohol and boyfriends etc, were the ones who went wild as soon as they left home. Teaching responsible behaviour is a better idea I think.

We have incredibly tight controls on our kids’ phones and on our household devices as well. This seems to be working well.

https://smartphonefreechildhood.co.uk/alternatives
A bunch of alternatives shown here. The selection will grow with more demand, but there’s stuff available now, depending on what you want

When a new technology is invented people panic about it and there are calls to crack down. It was the same with cinema, TV etc. Of course there are risks, but there is also a degree of hysteria going on here.

We really need to be teaching young people how to navigate the online world safely and make tech companies make that world safer, not ban it.