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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would this annoy your husband?

80 replies

Londs · 28/03/2025 21:25

So dh was off today. He woke up and prepped his incredible chilli. Genuinely famous in our family. I tasted it in the afternoon and it was mind blowing. When it came around to serving it had an awful uncooked cinnamon flavour. I like cinnamon but not when it’s the dominant flavour. I don’t really like sweet mains either. I never eat anything sweet annd sour annd hate dried fruit in a savoury dish. All the kids still liked it. Dh said too much had come out the bottle. I told dh if he didn’t mind I would not have any as it really was not to my taste now. And I would make some beans on toast.

i am on a diet and for me the calories in the sour cream, cheese, guacamole, rice etc just wasn’t justifiable with the cinnamon after taste which was really unpleasant to me.

Anyway, dh was just a little bit huffy and I called him out for it. Apparently I was being childish and picky.

Who is in the wrong?

OP posts:
SillySallie · 28/03/2025 22:40

I don’t eat food I don’t like, I’m wouldn’t force food down to appease someone’s ego nor would I expect anyone to eat something I cooked that they didn’t like. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than eating chilli tasting of cinnamon. You were polite OP saying it wasn’t to your taste, it’s not like you screwed your face up and spat it out.

GravyBoatWars · 28/03/2025 22:32

Did you do this in front of the DC? How would you have liked him to handle this situation if the roles were reversed, and how did you approach today fit with that?

Fancycheese · 28/03/2025 22:30

TY78910 · 28/03/2025 21:57

There are plenty of times my DP cooks something questionable and I will eat it. Hell, I’ll even tell a white lie and say it’s lovely. It’s just something I’ll do to acknowledge his effort and because making him feel good, ultimately makes me happy.

Well no wonder there are “plenty of times” your DH is cooking questionable food then. How is he going to improve if you’re not honest?

Is everyone just fibbing to their other half that they like their food, even if they don’t?

applegrumbling · 28/03/2025 22:30

Why is he tipping it straight from the bottle? That’s just dim.

CurlewKate · 28/03/2025 22:30

Why on earth should she eat something she doesn’t like just to stroke his ego? It really seems to be men who make a big deal out of being able to cook one thing really well-often as a way of deflecting from the fact that someone else does all the other cooking! And if it was close enough to be ready for the OP to taste and approve earlier, why is he adding spices at that stage? Of course the cinnamon is going to be raw tasting. The normal response would be “I’m sorry, babe-I screwed up the spicing-would you like an omlette/beans on toast/some other quickly prepared alternative dinner? I’ll get it while you open sone more wine”

Fancycheese · 28/03/2025 22:28

SwordOfOmens · 28/03/2025 22:20

My husband would have said "absolutely fair enough darling". And that would have been the end of it.

Well I’m glad there’s at least one other person on this thread that makes me feel less insane.

Fancycheese · 28/03/2025 22:27

LighthouseTeaCup · 28/03/2025 21:46

Are you a family that cooks different meals for the kids if they don't like what's for dinner? If you are then you weren't unreasonable.
If you all eat the same thing for tea, then yes you can feel disappointed it wasn't up to scratch, but you should have eaten it.

Why? She’s a grown adult!

Londs · 28/03/2025 22:25

InSpainTheRain · 28/03/2025 22:24

I think you've hurt his feelings, honestly unless it was rank id have eaten it. Now you've made it "a thing" when you didn't need to.

It wasn’t far off rank for my taste

OP posts:
InSpainTheRain · 28/03/2025 22:24

I think you've hurt his feelings, honestly unless it was rank id have eaten it. Now you've made it "a thing" when you didn't need to.

SwordOfOmens · 28/03/2025 22:20

My husband would have said "absolutely fair enough darling". And that would have been the end of it.

crossstitchingnana · 28/03/2025 22:14

I would have eaten it.

TY78910 · 28/03/2025 21:57

There are plenty of times my DP cooks something questionable and I will eat it. Hell, I’ll even tell a white lie and say it’s lovely. It’s just something I’ll do to acknowledge his effort and because making him feel good, ultimately makes me happy.

arcticpandas · 28/03/2025 21:55

None of you were unreasonable !

Nina1013 · 28/03/2025 21:55

Nobody should have to force themselves to eat anything they don’t like. I include children in this!

BakelikeBertha · 28/03/2025 21:52

I really don't get why people including the OP's DH, should eat something she didn't like, and wouldn't enjoy. I certainly wouldn't!

Trovindia · 28/03/2025 21:51

MyUmberSeal · 28/03/2025 21:43

I’m with your husband on this. A little insensitive on your part, think you could have made an effort to eat a meal he has put effort into making, give and take and all that.

Edited

She tried it and didn't like it, why should she eat it?

I wouldn't be able to eat anything sweet, I hate sweet flavours in savoury food. I would also have made myself something else.

Londs · 28/03/2025 21:51

LighthouseTeaCup · 28/03/2025 21:46

Are you a family that cooks different meals for the kids if they don't like what's for dinner? If you are then you weren't unreasonable.
If you all eat the same thing for tea, then yes you can feel disappointed it wasn't up to scratch, but you should have eaten it.

All eat the same

OP posts:
LighthouseTeaCup · 28/03/2025 21:46

Are you a family that cooks different meals for the kids if they don't like what's for dinner? If you are then you weren't unreasonable.
If you all eat the same thing for tea, then yes you can feel disappointed it wasn't up to scratch, but you should have eaten it.

gamerchick · 28/03/2025 21:44

hby9628 · 28/03/2025 21:35

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of cinnamon being used as a chilli ingredient. I don’t think you are being completely unreasonable. As an aside have you tried cauliflower rice instead of standard rice to keep your cals down? It’s better than it sounds if it’s properly cooked!

Cauliflower rice is just sadness on a plate.

I get you OP. It has to be worth the calories but he's allowed to be disappointed. Neither of you are wrong.

MyUmberSeal · 28/03/2025 21:43

I’m with your husband on this. A little insensitive on your part, think you could have made an effort to eat a meal he has put effort into making, give and take and all that.

CheeseyOnionPie · 28/03/2025 21:43

You’re both being reasonable. Sure he’s disappointed but you don’t want to waste calories.
If too much cinnamon came out he’d have been better ladling it out quickly rather than stirring it in.

Fancycheese · 28/03/2025 21:41

Dear me. I seem to be in the minority here, but I think your DH was the one being childish and not you! You weren’t rude to him and if you didn’t like the taste then you didn’t like the taste. What was the alternative? Eat it just to massage his ego? Truly weird.

Londs · 28/03/2025 21:41

hjokhjjjkkkd · 28/03/2025 21:39

I find it hard to believe that beans on toast would have been more appetising than the chilli, even if just a small amount, with the sides. So I can see why he would have been disappointed and I think it was a bit of an overreaction tbh.

Edited

For me it 100% was. It’s like getting a whiff of marmite in every bite as a non lover. I had no problem consuming the calories when I knew I would enjoy it.

Not justifiable when I’m forcing it down.

OP posts:
hjokhjjjkkkd · 28/03/2025 21:39

I find it hard to believe that beans on toast would have been more appetising than the chilli, even if just a small amount, with the sides. So I can see why he would have been disappointed and I think it was a bit of an overreaction tbh.

Eldermilleniallyogii · 28/03/2025 21:37

You are not unreasonable to not want to eat it and he's not unreasonable to feel about miffed about that.

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