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Original poster

Mother's Day - should school do more?

529 replies

inquisitiveinga · 28/03/2025 20:39

Disclaimer: I am absolutely not going to complain regarding this matter, I understand that teachers may have completely valid reasons for the below. My child's teacher is also FANTASTIC, she doesn't have children, and I can't help but think that due to this she perhaps doesn't understand the value of a handmade card?

My child has come home from school today and it's very clear that nothing has been prepared for Mother's Day, at least where their class is concerned. Usually a "beautiful" card comes home and it really makes my day.

Personally, I'm not bothered. I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who will not doubt ensure I have something from my 7 year old, and 1 year old (although I'm not really sure anything from her is warranted!). However, I can't help but think about single mothers in the class who may not receive anything (and who absolutely should).

AIBU to even be having this thought process?

OP posts:
IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 29/03/2025 13:11

Doingtheboxerbeat · 29/03/2025 13:06

Oops, sorry 😳🫣 I'll get my coat.

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Tbf Doingtheboxerbeat the poster you were replying to is every bit as unreasonable as the OP

CaptainMyCaptain · 29/03/2025 13:06

Ineedadrink12 · 29/03/2025 11:41

Have you listened to anyone who has been in or had children in this position that has posted on here? A lot of these children feel the loss greatly and can see their peers still have their parent, they don’t need to be reminded of this further.
Honestly, this reminds me of a father of one of my child’s friends who cornered me in the playground to ask me to ask my DC to stop talking about their dad dying as it was upsetting his daughter. They were 4 at the time.

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That's awful. I'd have told him to fuck off.

I had a similar thing but as a teacher of a class with a child whose father had died before she was born but who was still a constant presence in her and her mother's lives. Another parent first accused me of talking about death which I hadn't, I thought this other child might have but didnt mention that. She didn't want her child to know about death and wanted me to promise never to talk about it. I refused.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 29/03/2025 13:06

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:58

Wait what? I’m not the OP 🤣 also said multiple times I don’t care about card making. I was responding to people saying it should be avoided entirely due to trauma

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Oops, sorry 😳🫣 I'll get my coat.

Bitofanchange · 29/03/2025 13:04

Gustavo77 · 29/03/2025 13:01

Mothers day is a ridiculous piece of emotional blackmail.
It is a privilege to be a parent and mothers/fathers days should be confined to the history books.

It sickens me the number of people on here who want and expect things from their children. These people need to grow up!!
Mine have been brought up to know not to be suckered into the nonsense.

👏 👏

Wait until tomorrow and all the “sad”
posts

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 29/03/2025 13:03

Gustavo77 · 29/03/2025 13:01

Mothers day is a ridiculous piece of emotional blackmail.
It is a privilege to be a parent and mothers/fathers days should be confined to the history books.

It sickens me the number of people on here who want and expect things from their children. These people need to grow up!!
Mine have been brought up to know not to be suckered into the nonsense.

Here, here.

Gustavo77 · 29/03/2025 13:01

Mothers day is a ridiculous piece of emotional blackmail.
It is a privilege to be a parent and mothers/fathers days should be confined to the history books.

It sickens me the number of people on here who want and expect things from their children. These people need to grow up!!
Mine have been brought up to know not to be suckered into the nonsense.

bridgetreilly · 29/03/2025 13:01

Kindly, OP, you are bonkers.

Single mothers of young children can teach them from an early age how to make a card for mummy and give it to her the next day, maybe with some flowers picked from the garden. Schools are not replacement fathers.

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:58

Doingtheboxerbeat · 29/03/2025 12:57

I never thought you were evil at first op, but you're updates are screaming attention seeking and so now I'm wondering if all this is about you not having something to put on your social media. It's giving influencer.

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Wait what? I’m not the OP 🤣 also said multiple times I don’t care about card making. I was responding to people saying it should be avoided entirely due to trauma

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:58

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:51

I haven’t avoided the question! I can’t keep up. Yes I do have training in trauma. It’s an area with lots of ideals and interpretation, it’s okay if we disagree on which route to follow

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Which training?

Doingtheboxerbeat · 29/03/2025 12:57

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:47

having an opinion that is different to yours doesn’t mean I lack empathy. And I would respect your opinion should we ever cross paths. I’m simply saying there are ways to navigate things like this that isn’t just ignoring or not doing

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I never thought you were evil at first op, but you're updates are screaming attention seeking and so now I'm wondering if all this is about you not having something to put on your social media. It's giving influencer.

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:51

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:49

Actually you’ve not suggested anything yet that indicates any training in trauma that is necessary to support children in these situations and have avoided the question.

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I haven’t avoided the question! I can’t keep up. Yes I do have training in trauma. It’s an area with lots of ideals and interpretation, it’s okay if we disagree on which route to follow

PurpleThistle7 · 29/03/2025 12:49

I think setting up a situation that is deliberately isolating is unfortunate and to be avoided where possible. Of course not every child can be included in everything (I’m Jewish so have a number of Christmas and Easter themed gifts from the nursery years that aren’t super useful!), but that didn’t cause me any harm. Highlighting complicated family situations and expecting teachers and students to be therapists seems a good thing to avoid.

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:49

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:47

having an opinion that is different to yours doesn’t mean I lack empathy. And I would respect your opinion should we ever cross paths. I’m simply saying there are ways to navigate things like this that isn’t just ignoring or not doing

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Actually you’ve not suggested anything yet that indicates any training in trauma that is necessary to support children in these situations and have avoided the question.

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:49

SquirrelMadness · 29/03/2025 12:27

I'm imagining it going like this "here you go children, here's a station for you to make a lovely card for mummy if you want to. What's that Christopher, why is Timmy staying over there? I think it's because his mum gave him a black eye last month, but don't worry, Sandra's mum died from cancer last year so they can keep eachother company in the sandpit."

I think it's entirely reasonable for teachers to decide to skip these potentially risky situations and do something else instead. Mother's day is a non-school family day anyway so it's not like they're preventing anyone from celebrating it.

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Well that’s an example of a completely inappropriate response from an adult isn’t it so a different matter entirely. I also don’t think it would happen because children in early years choose not to take part in things all the time for multiple reasons

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:48

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:46

I don’t believe that children without a mother should be excluding from acknowledging their mother (or someone else) if they WANT to.

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Maybe they want their actual mother alive rather than the opportunity to celebrate their dead parent alongside those celebrating their living ones.

And, CLA? What you doing about them?

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:47

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 29/03/2025 12:45

It's your complete lack of empathy which gets me.

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having an opinion that is different to yours doesn’t mean I lack empathy. And I would respect your opinion should we ever cross paths. I’m simply saying there are ways to navigate things like this that isn’t just ignoring or not doing

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:47

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:46

I don’t believe that children without a mother should be excluding from acknowledging their mother (or someone else) if they WANT to.

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Again, have you had any training in trauma?

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:46

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:43

And you understand that doing an activity that a child wants to do but can’t is quite different to a child just not wanting to do something because more fun stuff available?

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I don’t believe that children without a mother should be excluding from acknowledging their mother (or someone else) if they WANT to.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 29/03/2025 12:45

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:29

Also, it’s not a completely foreign concept, we’ve all heard of writing a letter to a deceased person and sending it up on a balloon etc right?

can’t believe I’ve been called evil and chilling and had my integrity questioned!!

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It's your complete lack of empathy which gets me.

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:44

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:33

No I didn’t say that, I’m saying the idea of writing to someone who isn’t here anymore isn’t a foreign concept, so if someone wished to do that, it wouldn’t be that unusual

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Do you have any training in trauma?

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:43

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:32

No, I’m pointing out that it wouldn’t be necessary for any child to take part

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And you understand that doing an activity that a child wants to do but can’t is quite different to a child just not wanting to do something because more fun stuff available?

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:33

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:29

You really think it’s appropriate to sit children at a table making a letter to send to their dead mothers on a balloon??? Have you had any training at all in supporting children with trauma?

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No I didn’t say that, I’m saying the idea of writing to someone who isn’t here anymore isn’t a foreign concept, so if someone wished to do that, it wouldn’t be that unusual

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:32

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:28

Did you really just compare children trauma to children who don’t enjoy crafts?

  1. children who don’t like crafts will often complete the crafts because they love their mum
  2. children who hate craft don’t hate craft as much as children who don’t have a mum hate that
  3. children who’s mothers are dead don’t not want take part. It’s not about a free choice of want to.

Let’s revisit the comparison. Hate craft / dead mother.

And haven’t even started on CLA.

Edited
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No, I’m pointing out that it wouldn’t be necessary for any child to take part

stayathomer · 29/03/2025 12:31

I’m torn on this, the only stuff I’ll get from my youngest is as a result of teachers doing stuff with them BUT there are three children minimum in the school who have had mothers die in the last few years and there’s two children with two dads so I don’t think they need it to be a big thing. I think one of the teachers said about doing something for a parent so that’s something

Riaanna · 29/03/2025 12:29

Waitingforthecold · 29/03/2025 12:29

Also, it’s not a completely foreign concept, we’ve all heard of writing a letter to a deceased person and sending it up on a balloon etc right?

can’t believe I’ve been called evil and chilling and had my integrity questioned!!

Show quote history

You really think it’s appropriate to sit children at a table making a letter to send to their dead mothers on a balloon??? Have you had any training at all in supporting children with trauma?

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