Mother's Day - should school do more?

Reminds me of shortly after my son started school nursery, so 3 years old, and at pick up time another child's mother who I didn't know, came up to me and in front of other parents, told me that I should teach my son that lying was wrong, because my son had told her son that his father was dead, her son had told her, and she had told her son it was naughty to lie because in her opinion surely my son saying that couldn't possibly be true.

I somehow managed to stay very calm and looked right at her and said that my son wasn't a liar, and yes his father had committed suicide the year before. She at least had the decency to mutter sorry and walked away.

The other mothers who heard this were of course extremely shocked at her behaviour and very sympathetic to me because most of them didn't know my situation either. It was an insight for me into how some people have an almost unbelievable lack of empathy and level of self-centeredness.

Do you understand the crucial different between don’t want to take part and can’t take part?

Do you understand that Mother’s Day is a holiday for mothers? It’s literally the worst day to give those children that opportunity.

Only you haven’t. What you have consistently done is come up with some low brow sloppy attempts at making Mother’s Day inclusive without actually addressing any of the reasons it never can be.

My child is in year 3, at a church school (if it makes any difference, the attached church has a special mother's day service), and no card from school this year. Don't recall anything coming home in Year 2 either.

Also, a poor child in the same year buried their mum this week, so I think every parent can understand why schools don't do Mother's or Father's day crafts, and even if they do some years, why it night not be appropriate others.

I'd just be grateful my family hasn't had as many challenges to deal with as some, and if I was that bothered, leave out some craft materials for your child on your own time.

......plus, curriculum and schools already being under enormous pressure for time and resources. We have to financially contribute for termly baking and craft projects, and I'd rather funds go on essentials than nice to have activities.

Yes forcing children to make one in school is actually depriving a child of their autonomy not to thank an abusive or neglectful parent.

I think MD is a nice thing, I just am not so hung up on it that I’d check the school bag on Friday eve to make sure they had a card for me. It’s nice to get acknowledgement but you have to leave a bit of free will in it all - if only for it to mean something.
And all the MN squabble threads about where DH is spending MD are just 🙄

I think it is a family thing - and that dads or another family member should direct and support children in making cards if, culturally, Mothers’ day is important. It’s rooted in christianity and therefore not significant culturally to many; also many children do not have mothers (bereavement, separation, are in the care system or… they have two daddies). On this latter grounds I feel it should absolutely NOT be overseen or managed at school.

The minority being little children without mothers, how heartless are you????

I’m a 40+ adult who lost her mum over 20 years ago. I still to this day find being in a situation where I am surrounded by “Mother’s Day” cards and gifts extremely upsetting. I actively avoid card shops as much as I can at this time of year.

I cannot wrap my head around the posters who are suggesting that teachers should deliberately put small children in this situation

No where have I said this?! I wouldn’t go out of my way to make the activity about that, I’ve given examples further up about how the direction I think the conversation could take and it’s certainly not what you’ve suggested

It’s wound me up because she’s maintaining that she’s a professional.

Dear mummy can’t wait to see you later and have big cuddles versus dear mummy sorry you’re dead.

amazing.

So a bit of grief tourism? When you’ve finished making your lovely mummy’s card we are going to talk to Timmy about his dead mum, and Johnny about his alcoholic mother and Francine who’s a CLA?

Whuch trauma training have you done again? Or could you at least signpost the one suggesting anything like this.

Sorry no - the balloon comment was not saying this it was pointing out that writing to the dead isn’t a foreign idea (I was called chilling for suggesting it).

I wouldn’t think an activity set up in this way was appropriate no.

No, I’m suggesting is an opportunity for children to witness empathy and compassion and an opportunity for children to experience those things, and therefore shouldn’t be a reason not to do these activities.

I think she's genuinely suggesting that some sort of session where most of the children are cheerfully making cards for their mums while a small minority are making tributes for their dead parents graves or balloons with poems for their dead parents etc would somehow not be risking trauma or upset. It's just baffling to me, I lost my dad last year and if someone suggested I make a balloon for him while surrounded by other people who are all celebrating their still living dads I would be pretty upset - and I'm an adult. And then there are children who might not want to make a card because of neglect etc and maybe they don't want to explain to their friends why they're not really wanting to join in.

I don't know why I'm still posting and arguing really, it seems like a pointless argument as it's so obvious what the potential risks of this activity would be. But it's really wound me up!

So much so they’re willing to trample over traumatised kids!

@Riaanna
Incorrect.

I was pointing out that there would be multiple children that don’t want to take part, so not doing so wouldn’t isolate or draw attention to a child.

I don’t really understand the second point.

I wasn’t suggesting writing on a balloon should be done in schools I was using as an example of a widely recognised activity that isn’t too dissimilar to making a card for someone who isn’t here anymore (should someone want to) in the same way people talk out loud, write letters, post heartfelt things on social media etc, sometimes they have things to say that they want to be heard.

children looked after also deserve to be open about their experiences IF they want to

Tbh I find the whole concept of Mothers' Day so needy. Is your (general your) life such a misery of selfless, unappreciated drudgery that you have to have this one 'special' day?

Are you suggesting Mother’s Day activities give children the opportunity to learn about not having one?!

What?

Nobody is saying that children should stop engaging in mothers day! Why do they need to make cards at school in order to engage with mothers day? Mother's day is at a weekend and it's a family day! Why don't you encourage your children to make cards at home, can't they do crafting at home too? Why is everything on the school?

Wait is that last bit sarcastic? Because that is exactly what I’m suggesting activities like this give the opportunity to expose children to in a gentle and age appropriate way

You’re lying. You know it. I know it. There is not one. And everything you’ve said is evidence that you’ve got no training at all.

You have compared dead mothers and children not liking crafts.
You have failed to work out that.a dead mother is not about not wanting to make crafts.
You’ve failed to knowledge that writing balloon letters is not inclusive.
Nothing about CLA.

etc. etc. etc.

Seriously - why do need to be praised and celebrated?

Any way happy mother's day to all of you there who are mothers......have a great day with the family and hope the kids spoil you a bit 😊