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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Seriously thinking about leaving the UK - AIBU?

586 replies

HonoraBridge · 28/03/2025 16:31

I love the UK in many ways but it has been going downhill for at least 20 years and it feels as if the speed of the decline is accelerating. I no longer see a happy, or particularly safe, future here. For the first time in my life, I am very seriously thinking about leaving the UK and that feeling gets stronger day by day. When I mention this to friends, many are feeling the same way. YANBU - you are right to think seriously about leaving the UK. YABU - the UK is a still a great country to live in and you are being unreasonable to want to leave.

OP posts:
Pliudev · 29/03/2025 19:46

ThymeScent · 28/03/2025 16:40

Am encouraging my own to DC to leave.
The country is a mess and with net migration massively rising and the ‘benefit’ culture rife, people who actually work for a living are being taken for mugs.

Yes. Those who think like this make me wonder if I want to live here. By all means encourage your DC to become migrants. Which countries might they migrate to? Will they be welcome?

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 29/03/2025 19:37

BatchCookBabe · 28/03/2025 16:46

Ah .... the monthly 'UK bashing' thread! Wink

Good luck with that. (Leaving the UK!) One question... How do you know your country of choice will want you though?

Bit presumptuous to assume that you can just stroll off and make a new life just anywhere @HonoraBridge

You won't leave. I will bet my house on that. The vast majority of UK bashers, (who were born and raised her,) who claim they're off to another country as the UK is so 'shit,' are all talk......

Weird how the UK is so 'despised' by some of its own people, yet 1000s and 1000s of people from other countries, seem to be desperate to come here and stay. Go figure!

The UK has been through worse times than this. These kinds of threads make me roll my eyes, seriously. 🙄

Edited

The same is said about the USA, yet few leave, and a lot more are hoping to get in. I have thought about moving in the last decade, but there is no where that's better and plenty that are worse.

I don't think that any country is going to be a utopia. All countries have pluses and minuses, so the best one can do, if they really wish to move, is to find a country that seems to have the most of what you want and fits your belief pattern and try to see if they would take you.

CatherineDurrant · 29/03/2025 19:23

It doesn't have to be terrible here to want to experience life in another country, so get planning.

FWIW, I think the future for many in UK is pretty bleak.

Parker231 · 29/03/2025 19:19

TempestTost · 28/03/2025 23:49

Housing unaffordable, lack of housing, tent cities all over the place, full of trash and drugs.

Opioid epidemic, fentanyl is killing addicts regularly.

Rising crime (see, drug problems.)

Public education is rather shit, worse than the UK for sure. My kids in high school academic English had the teacher read the novels to them - this is not uncommon. Science teaching is marginally better, math not so much, humanities are completely lame. Some get out of this problem by putting their kids in IB schools if they are available which means living in the right place.

Serious issues with the medical system, you will likely be on a wait list for a GP and may well never get off it. Treatment for minor issues, or even major ones, means trying to find a walk in clinic or ER visit, with no follow up. Increasing instances of deaths in ERs of people waiting to be seen. Long waits for procedures.

Programs and such for kids with special needs are uneven and variable.

Media climate is very flat compared to the UK, there are very few major newspapers so the variety of takes that happens in the UK media isn't available, and it shows in the political discourse.

Rising prices generally, especially food. Wages are flat.

Edited

Where in Canada do you live? We’ve in Canada and don’t recognise your comments.

Dogsbreath7 · 29/03/2025 19:09

YANBU if that’s how you feel but I won’t be going because I don’t think the grass is greener in other countries.

I had 4 years living in another country. It didn’t feel like home.

Missohnoyoubetterdont · 29/03/2025 18:41

I love the U.K. I live in a very pretty part. I do a job I love. My kids are safe and loved. I have lakes on my doorstep and mountains to climb. I love visiting London and really believe it’s one of the most amazing capital cities out there I find our country funny and quirky and steeped in history and interesting things to visit and look at. I have lived abroad. Europe, the far east and Australia. Loved that too but it’s not home I think life is what you make it and I also think the English like to moan. Go and live elsewhere by all means but do it because it’s an adventure not because you want to go on and on about what a shit country it is. Believe you me, we are very lucky in many respects

Kendodd · 29/03/2025 18:37

BatchCookBabe · 28/03/2025 17:03

This. ^ I can't imagine, for one split second, 'encouraging' my children to leave the UK. What a bizarre thing to do. Confused The vast majority of people wouldn't want their children flying off to another continent to live. Why on earth would you try and encourage them to go?

Because you want a better life for your kids than the UK can offer ?

Walkaround · 29/03/2025 18:35

MayNov · 29/03/2025 18:28

Croatia, Monte Negro, Poland etc. The average salary in most Eastern European countries has risen to 2000 euros per month but the average rent for a central flat in a big city is 500 euros. You do the math

I wouldn’t want to be moving to Poland atm, with Russia breathing down their neck.

CarrieOnComplaining · 29/03/2025 18:34

MayNov · 29/03/2025 18:28

Croatia, Monte Negro, Poland etc. The average salary in most Eastern European countries has risen to 2000 euros per month but the average rent for a central flat in a big city is 500 euros. You do the math

Food in Croatia is hugely expensive. I would say approaching twice what it is in London.

Buffs · 29/03/2025 18:29

I live in the US and I know people, who can afford to, are buying houses in the UK. Anyway there are a LOT of people here in the US who want to leave but where would we all go?

MayNov · 29/03/2025 18:28

Jabberwok · 28/03/2025 16:40

Where though? Germany , France are both economically expected to go backwards this year. The rest of Europe and those two have increased issues with terrorism. Plus issues should Germany struggle
Spain is still basically an economy based on tourism and has had several major weather issues.
The middle East is a powder keg and it's expensive to move there
The far East has been today hit by a massive earth quake. Thailand which is the usual destination doesn't have the most stable political situation having had 20 constitutions and several military could
Aus and new Zealand are fave, if you meet the criteria to get in...and it's a long long way to visit family
The us? With trump?
So Canada...it's well it's canada?

Croatia, Monte Negro, Poland etc. The average salary in most Eastern European countries has risen to 2000 euros per month but the average rent for a central flat in a big city is 500 euros. You do the math

Wimin123 · 29/03/2025 18:28

BatchCookBabe · 28/03/2025 17:03

This. ^ I can't imagine, for one split second, 'encouraging' my children to leave the UK. What a bizarre thing to do. Confused The vast majority of people wouldn't want their children flying off to another continent to live. Why on earth would you try and encourage them to go?

Absolutely agree - that’s so sad. 😞 have so many friends who have adult children in Australia etc and they miss them
so dreadfully now and barely get to see their grandchildren. It was ok when they were younger and could travel but now they are older with health issues etc it’s not possible. I am forever grateful my well qualified daughter stayed in the UK and love spending time with my granddaughter each week.

Parker231 · 29/03/2025 18:27

WWYD22 · 29/03/2025 18:18

Fake asylum seekers you mean? They were safe in France , so no need to invade us. We need to wake up to this invasion and see it for what it is.

Asylum seekers don’t have to apply in the first safe country they come to and can only apply in UK when they are actually in the country

Helterskelterthroughtheday · 29/03/2025 18:23

Davros · 29/03/2025 11:55

On this thread, it seems that many people who have, or are going to, move to another country are originally from elsewhere, have a spouse from another country and/or already have friends and family in another country. I’d like to hear more about the motivation to move away for a couple or family who are born and bred Brits

I'm a 'born and bred' Brit, posted my reasons earlier in the thread.

WWYD22 · 29/03/2025 18:18

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 14:12

Yes, and those countries are often a lot bigger! Why do they come to the U.K.? I think the U.K. is more generous than most, that’s why they want to come here, not because they have relatives here and speak English as some say, as judging from the size of the bill for interpreters, they don’t. Not all who come across on boats are asylum seekers, not all come from war torn countries, they include economic migrants and criminals etc . How can the authorities know their history without documentation? In Spain, if they rock upon the beach they are quickly deported. No hotel accommodation for them there.

Fake asylum seekers you mean? They were safe in France , so no need to invade us. We need to wake up to this invasion and see it for what it is.

WWYD22 · 29/03/2025 18:15

Make the move and don’t look back. The U.K. is finished. In fact, Europe is gone. In 20 years it will be an Islam ruled country and our government will jail you for not being happy about it. Told my teens to get skilled up and get out. We are being invaded daily by dangerous men and the powers that be refuse to protect us. Our towns now look like Baghdad and it’s unsafe. I envy those who can get out and have the means to do so.

Vynalbob · 29/03/2025 18:06

Rather depends where you're leaving for...
US no
New Zealand maybe

I wouldn't just run I'd personally need to want a specific destination if only as a comparison can be made.

Also I have to say "It's not like the good old days" is often said by older people....and this was true when I was a kid.

OneNoisySnail · 29/03/2025 18:01

Absolutely do it. I did just over 4 years ago and have never looked back. I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been and my previous mental health issues have only flared up a couple of times.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy and there will be challenges, you will get homesick for some things and some processes but overall quality of life could drastically improve. If it’s not for you, you’ve always got the option of going back!

The state of the U.K. these days makes me so sad and the only time I go back now is if I have to for work, but I hate it.

Where would you go?

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 17:31

WhoMeMissYesYouMiss · 29/03/2025 16:22

I thought you were golden geese laying golden eggs...

Yes, and the golden eggs were continually hatching!

Ubertomusic · 29/03/2025 16:23

SalfordQuays · 28/03/2025 22:16

Waiting list

That changes everything! Now I can go straight away, thank you!

WhoMeMissYesYouMiss · 29/03/2025 16:22

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 15:55

No of course not, but it was run down and needed an injection of cash. Boosting their economy wasn’t in the least imperial. House building increased, more jobs created, Furnishings electrical goods etc required, new supermarkets , restaurants followed. Everybody gained.

I thought you were golden geese laying golden eggs...

Hoardasauruskaren · 29/03/2025 16:17

I have Irish colleagues who say they won’t move back because of the high cost of living there! One woman said she would live in NI & work in the republic if she ever wanted to be closer to family !

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 15:55

WhoMeMissYesYouMiss · 29/03/2025 15:46

What's the alternative break up their community by trying to freeze you out? It isn't just people coming here who try to impose their culture on the native members of their new communities. There is a reason there is push back in places like Spain.

It's a very imperial mindset to say you have improved their communities. Were they uncultured, savages before you arrived?

No of course not, but it was run down and needed an injection of cash. Boosting their economy wasn’t in the least imperial. House building increased, more jobs created, Furnishings electrical goods etc required, new supermarkets , restaurants followed. Everybody gained.

WhoMeMissYesYouMiss · 29/03/2025 15:46

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 13:50

Well, they’re happy enough to make use of the improvements, and we were welcomed there as part of the community, and invited to take part in such things as fiestas etc.

What's the alternative break up their community by trying to freeze you out? It isn't just people coming here who try to impose their culture on the native members of their new communities. There is a reason there is push back in places like Spain.

It's a very imperial mindset to say you have improved their communities. Were they uncultured, savages before you arrived?

Bignanna · 29/03/2025 14:12

Teanbiscuits33 · 28/03/2025 22:08

You do know that other countries take more asylum seekers than we do, right? There’s a difference between an illegal immigrant snd an asylum seeker. An illegal immigrant is unknown to the authorities, so they don’t claim benefits because the government isn’t aware they’re still here. Illegal immigrants include those who were previously granted visas and have overstayed after expiration. They don’t drain any resources because the government does not give them any.

‘the Boat people’ are asylum seekers, they are known to the home office. They have to come over on a boat and declared themselves, because if they obtained a visa and came by air, they then wouldn’t be granted asylum because they had a visa.

I wish people knew the difference.

Yes, and those countries are often a lot bigger! Why do they come to the U.K.? I think the U.K. is more generous than most, that’s why they want to come here, not because they have relatives here and speak English as some say, as judging from the size of the bill for interpreters, they don’t. Not all who come across on boats are asylum seekers, not all come from war torn countries, they include economic migrants and criminals etc . How can the authorities know their history without documentation? In Spain, if they rock upon the beach they are quickly deported. No hotel accommodation for them there.

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