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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Princess behaviour?

252 replies

Laststraw25 · 28/03/2025 10:23

I need your perspective about this as I really can’t tell if I am being completely unreasonable and too demanding.

I know sometimes on MN we see that some believe birthdays are for children, but in our family we do celebrate them with a lot of effort and time for both adults and children.

I had a milestone birthday a few weeks ago. I had asked my dh to plan something as I was dreading it. I don’t have any family except for one long distance aunt. I find birthdays hard because it emphasises the feelings I have about being alone, and also because I had some really miserable birthdays in the past.

I had said to dh how I felt for the last few months. He knew it was going to be a difficult day, fast forward to the day and it became apparent that nothing beyond some presents and cards was arranged. I had a cake in the evening and that’s it. My dd gave me a present in a Tesco shopping bag not even wrapped and many of my friends forgot (although some did remember) and it felt like a wash out. We had lunch on a farm, booked last minute in the end.

I organised a weekend spa day with some girl friends for the weekend after which was nice.

I just feel so let down. I spent most of the day crying, and have felt quite depressed since.

Am I expecting too much for one of my family to organise something for me on the day? It was my 40th. Maybe I am being too demanding?

Thanks

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 28/03/2025 10:27

I think your DH was in an awkward position where he'd been asked to organise something, but also repeatedly told how difficult it would/how down you were etc. I can see why he might have thought keeping it low key was best.

What did you want him to organise? What would have been the best day he could have given you?

LeaveTaking · 28/03/2025 10:27

I think if birthdays are big thing in your house then it doesn’t feel fair yours wasn’t treated in the same way.

Have you spoken to your DH about how it made you feel?

I wouldn’t blame a young child for giving a gift in a bag though. It’s the thought.

This wouldn’t be a shocker in our house but we don’t do huge birthday things for adults.