Am I the only one?

I had so many, i was a teen too when DS1 was born, even the doctor commented on them (doc came on a home visit to check my stitches / bad bruising I had due to an assisted delivery, failed ventouse and forceps). He said they’d fade, and they have. But I am jealous of the people who get none.

I strongly advise therapy. It’s true, therapists listen. They supoort and guide you to change your mindset and/or move forward. So, it only works if you want to understand why you feel this way and want to change it. I’d ask your GP or health visitor to refer you to a therapist who specialises in post-natal depression, as the feelings of imperfection you have may be linked to PP hormone levels/exhaustion.

If you’re four months PP, your body has very recently done an incredible thing creating new life. And presumably you have a beautiful baby, who’s your pride and joy. It may help to think of the marks as warrior marks showing how strong you and your body were to go through pregnancy and childbirth. Or love marks, showing how you and your baby were once one. IME, it takes about a year to fully physically recover from pregnancy and childbirth.

Most women (and men come to that) who are considered beautiful are full of imperfections: stretch marks, blemishes, cellulite etc. That’s because beauty comes from within. It’s not only about physicality, but the spirit that shines through a face and body. Mean spirited people rarely look beautiful, even if their physicality ticks a lot of (current social norm) boxes. Ashley Graham and Chrissy Teigen, to name just two women, have spoken openly about their PP stretch marks.

IMHO the most important thing is to spend time with people who love you. I’d never dream of making a friend feel awful about stretch marks so soon after giving birth. Have they not heard of PND? It’s insensitive and unkind, rather than loving and caring, as friends should be.

Be kind to yourself. They do fade over time ❤️

Stretch marks are normal! I have loads from 2 babies. They do fade over time. My Los are 3 and 6 now and they always ask about them. I say they're my warrior marks from when you were on my belly and they remind me of that, the smile over this. Don't worry about them, you carried a beautiful baby and have the marks to show it.

I had zero stretch marks until 8 months and then it just went wild. Absolutely awful after I gave birth. It is so depressing and you just hope your body will return to normal

i lost a lot of baby weight and became very thin due to a lot of stress that happened around the same time but I still had a paunch as a result.

and many many years later I still have that paunch and all my stripes are now faded but you can still see them.

but am I bothered? Not really. Don’t even think about it now. Tight compression underwear works a treat.

I’m 5m PP and I have them alllll over what was my baby bump on a droopy belly. I haven’t lost the weight I put on in pregnancy yet, but when I do I hope the belly is less prominent. I think my tiger stripes will remain. Tbh I’m proud of them, I wore a bikini at a spa recently and I thought ‘fuck it’ no one will look and if they do… well I grew and birthed 2 whole babies! Why would my
body look the same? Why would I aspire to this?

have a look at Carys Whittaker on insta. She rocks her belly.

Ive got them and had them before I had kids. They used to be purple-ish but not silvery. I have them in my stomach, arms and upper thighs. My son also has them on hips and upper arms, he's never had a baby and is 17! If your baby is only 4 months your body is surely still adjusting. I'm sure you are beautiful and your baby loves you. Social media is not for real anyway. People post what they want you to see. Dont compare yourself xxx

Most women have stretch marks

Everyone I know who has had a baby has them! Mine are suuuuper deep in the crotch area.

OP I literally had massive bright red/purple tiger stripes all over my massive bump. Now I promise you I can’t even see where they were - they aren’t even silvery or indented any more, they’ve gone. I’m over a decade on from my last pregnancy but they were hardly visible in less than a year. The same happened with my teen DS who had a growth spurt and got them all up his back - they’ve disappeared. I know you have them now and I’m not minimising how you feel about that, but I hope I can reassure you. Get some palmers cocoa butter or bio oil or Superdrug vitamin e cream, and apply every night.

I am absolutely covered in stretch marks. I had loads because I grew so fast as a teen then my stomach ended up covered in pregnancy. I'm pregnant again so now they're deep purple and massive everywhere. They will fade in time once again but no, do not be ashamed. We have the marks that show we have carried a new life into the world. Be proud, you did the most amazing thing. You have a real body that shows a real and raw part of life x

My ex had big white stretch marks on his shoulders and back. Due to his dark skin tone they stood out.

never bothered me- and I think they bothered him when he was younger but no more.

Lots of people have stretch marks- men, women with kids, women without kids.

They fade - our 13yr old boy went from 4ft something to 6ft something in a matter of days. Angry red marks all over his back, they've faded to pretty much unnoticeable now.

I mean this in the nicest way OP, stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy!
They will fade over time, the indents will lessen. It will just take time.
7 years and 3 children later, I barely notice mine myself. They were very bright red and indented (not massively although it felt like it at the time) You cant really see them unless i get a tan now as they stay white.

I was a teen mum and covered in them so I don’t think it has anything to do with the age of the skin. Maybe genetic, something to do with underlying muscles or the fat layer, moisture retention? I know I was shocked the first time I saw them in a mirror, deep red grooves , I thought I had something dire wrong with me.
Im in my 60s now and they’ve never completely faded. I’ve been slim, very slim, not so slim and could well do to lose a stone or two in the intervening 50 years and nothing made a difference to the new silvery white stretch marks.

OP your friends sound like trash, I’m sorry 💐 I’m almost six months PP and I have stretch marks that are still angry and red - on the bottom of my stomach I have small ones, on my thighs and the back of my hips I have big ones. I also have a big round scar above my belly button where my pregnant belly pushed out my belly button piercing and it ripped the skin! And I had lots of stretch marks pre pregnancy too, they went horizontal across my bum and thighs and my new pregnancy ones go vertically so my legs look like gingham print 😂 some days it really bothers me and other days I’m like I made a human being with my body, grew them and kept them safe for nine months. Our bodies are bloody amazing and it’s 100000% normal x

Haven’t read all the replies so someone else may have suggested this but I swear by Franks Coffee Scrub for stretch marks. It’s honestly amazing and I’m not exaggerating when I say my big, ugly, purple stretch marks all but disappeared after only two or three uses!

www.frankbody.com/uk/products/original-coffee-scrub/

I’m so sorry you’re feeling how you are about your body which has done so much to grow life and bring a child in to the world. I highly recommend the book overcoming low self esteem. It’s written by a doctor and is essentially do it yourself cognitive behavioural therapy, which I think you’d benefit from.

Yes they can. My son was fairly big and long and two weeks overdue and I was small and a size 8 and I think my skin just had nowhere to go. I passionately hated my stretch marks. All over my stomach down from my belly button. Red, angry and highly indented. I didn’t get any more with my second child as they were smaller and I’d already been stretched. My eldest is 18 now and they have gone silvery to flesh tone and texture is much much less indented so really improves over the years.
I wish I hadn’t ’given up’ on my stomach due to the marks. That made it so much worse. In my head I would never wear a bikini again, I was ashamed to go to the gym etc so I stopped trying. If I’d exercised and tried to keep it in better shape it would have really helped too. And I’m now very aware that no one cares but me!
Im never going to love them but I’m much more accepting now. Be kind to yourself x

If you have tik tok go on there and search for stretch marks. You will find other people with them. My husband has lots between the top of his bum and his lower back. He is tall and slim and had a huge growth spurt as a teen that his skin couldn't keep up with.

Oh OP this has made me sad for you. I'm 17 years post partum with my youngest who was 5kg. I already had stretch marks on my hips from puberty and got more in both my pregnancies. They fade to almost nothingness like PP have said. You have only just had a baby - it's such a shocking time both physically and mentally. Put your phone away and enjoy your new family member. The advantage of being 50+ is i give zero fucks now. Life is going to throw all sorts of challenges at you - stretch marks will not always be the most worrying thing in your life.

Daily Bio oil is recommended. It doesn’t mark clothes

I’m one of those who didn’t get stretch marks but (a) I would never be disparaging about other peoples because they’re normal, pregnancy is amazing, and I’m not a rude idiot; and (b) 6 months pp I still have haemorrhoids and a very weak pelvic floor - I think I might have preferred stretch marks!

Your belly has gone back flat? Lucky you! I have split stomach muscles from my first pregnancy and forever have to adapt what clothes I wear - a high waistband will make me look pregnant (actually I’m old enough now that it makes me look just fat). I always had a tiny waist before.

But it doesn’t matter. Back when I was desperate to get pregnant and when I had a miscarriage I would have killed (possibly) to have a baby. A sticky out belly or stretch marks are definitely a price worth paying (and less likely to land me in jail).

I didn’t know anyone who had a pregnancy photo shoot or a bump photo shoot - 15 years ago mind you. When did everyone get so self obsessed? Your friends sound vile, they should be supporting you not making you feel worse. Get to some baby groups and meet some less shallow people.

Children leave much deeper marks on our lives than stretch marks. Enjoy your baby and don’t worry about your badges of honour.

OP please don't be deceived by other people's photos. Photoshopping is so easy to do now, with one click you can pretty much remove anything.

I’ve got a story about my middle child and my stretch marks. I’m covered almost head to toe.

When dd was 4, she started reception and her her teacher had two large pink/purple scars on her face and a couple on her arm. On the settling in day, she explained to all the children and the parents that she had been very unlucky when she was younger and had been attacked my an animal, but no one should worry as it was all okay now and didn’t hurt.

That night, we were laying in bed and dd started sobbing hysterically. I asked her what was wrong and she pulled up my tshirt, pointed at the million stretchmarks on me and said, “mummy, you must have been so scared when that tiger attacked you, I’m so glad you didn’t die.”