Am I the only one?

Yes. I had those on the middle of my stomach, like someone had scooped out skin in thin lines. They were hugely noticeable to me, radiating out from the middle of my stomach. One in particular looked very indented.

But - that has all gone basically. I’ve just had a major peer at my stomach. I can only just see where they were. The big one is much, much better. It’s not indented now, and to see where it used to be, I have to stretch my skin out with my hand. Only then can I see the faintest of lines. That line isn’t indented. It’s the same colour as the rest of my skin, and the only reason I can pick out the line is because when I stretch the skin, I can see a line of skin that looks slightly thinner.

I can’t stress enough how much they reduce, fade and become blended in with your skin @SansaStark90 I don’t remember how long it took, but they gradually ‘healed’ like an injury, if that makes sense. If you looked at my stomach, you’d struggle to see them even close up. You’d have to scrutinise it to find any signs of them. And, believe me, they were very noticeable to begin with.

My stomach is covered with them from three pregnancies. My midwife with DD2 (second pregnancy) actually made comment on how many stretch marks I had the first time she saw my stomach. 😢

Aw hun I know exactly how you feel. I've got stretch marks from my 3 previous pregnancies and now I'm on pregnancy number 4 and have developed puppps. I've been scratching that bad I'm sure I'll be leaving scars! My whole body is covered in spots and rash, i feel so yuck 😭

My DH has been so supportive though. Telling me not to be hard on myself, we are growing life! We might have marks but at the end of the day we also have those gorgeous wee babies ❤️

And to say they're not that common?! Pppfft majority of my mums friends have stretch marks and the pouch to go with it 😂

I was fat, before I got pregnant, so I already had them. I’m 5 months PP, and I’ve got proper “tiger stripes”. They’re massive, and pink, and some are raised. But do you know what? IDGAF. I had a baby, and when you have a baby, most people get stretch marks. They’re just another part of me. Ignore the bitchy people, and just embrace them. You’ll feel so much better.

Sorry OP, that sounds awful. I'm not even on social media, there are plenty of us in our 30s, new mums happy to make other new mum friends, who will build you up instead of push you down.

Absolutely not the only one. I have them and know lots that do too, I HATE the look of mine but also LOVE them because they are the marks from my 4 beautiful babies that I grew in my tummy and I am thankful for that.

Mine have. I honestly haven’t even thought about them in years. Until the thread made me have a look at them.

mine were very deep. But honestly, they are just part of me.

You may find your issues much easier to work on if you don’t have these friends around you

I would say your friends have been very lucky if they have none at all. Anything you see on SM is the perfect image but is mostly staged. Search out influencers who don't project only perfect images. No recs but I know they will be out there, engage with one and others will feed your time line. Or break from SM and concentrate on your little family. I didn't get many in my first pregnancy and put it down to my use of bio oil, started using it from the very beginning in my second and they waited till I was about 37 weeks and the popped out all over my bump, not product, just luck first time round. I've got them from puberty too on my breasts. Concentrate on how amazing it is that your stomach stretched to accommodate a whole human being and then shrank back to help protect your precious organs. They may fade over time or they may not but they are a reminder of just how incredible your body is!

I’ve got them from two pregnancies and some were oldeady on my hips from puberty. None of us are ‘perfect’ whatever any kind of media tries to tell you.
They do go silvery over time. At some point you’ll get to a point where you see the marks and wrinkles on your body as signs you have lived! X

@SansaStark90 are you on mat leave? Go to every baby activity going, you'll meet other mums and some are bound to be people you can get along with. I moved to a new area as my DD started school and made a brilliant group of new friends who were mums /dads of her classmates. Your child can be a great way to meet new adults!

With therapy you have to find a therapist and a style you click with. I've had a shed load over the years, and sometimes tried a new one and felt like you describe. I just move on til I find one I can work with.

They will fade .Think of Shirley valentine “He kissed me stretch marks” that still makes me smile now.

As a man with a DP who has quite prominent stretchmarks, I very much doubt that your partner thinks that at all.

My DP is incredibly beautiful to me, and the things that she'd call "flaws" are part of what makes her beautiful.

She's got slightly gappy front teeth that she's always hated. She's had them fixed now and to be honest I miss her old smile.

There's a big birthmark on the back of her leg which she loathes, but I like it. It looks like a map of a tropical island, and I've named particular places on the map (I've not told her this)

And her stretchmarks are a reminder of how amazing she is. They're from weightloss rather than pregnancy, and they're a reminder of how hard she worked to overcome a lifetime of bad habits and an unhealthy relationship with food. I watched her go through that and know exactly how hard she struggled to change her life.

I've never had a baby but I've had stretchmarks on my hips and to the sides of my boobs since I was 12 and I also have some on my lower abdomen from weight loss a few years ago.

My brother has them too - they appeared on his legs when he had a growth spurt in his teens. They never go away completely but they do fade.

Your stretch marks will fade.

You have a bigger problem with your so called "friends" though. Why surround yourself with that kind of negativity and criticism, that's worse for you than stretch marks will ever be.

I've had them on my boobs since puberty and my hips from weight gain in my 20s. Weirdly, I didn't get any from pregnancy which must be an unexpected benefit from all that weight gain in my 20s. I believe some people get them on their face which must be tough.

I had that when I was a child. I did swimming and my mum was always worried people would think she was hurting me! They really did look like I’d been whipped. They have faded but you can still see them faintly.

I've never had kids but I've still got absolutely loads of them. All women do from when their bodies change shape. There's nothing to be ashamed about. Your mate with her tummy tuck probably is just trying to justify the fact she spent fortunes on an intrusive surgery.

My stretch marks looked like a map of the London Underground and are still visible although they have faded in the 19 years since I was last pregnant.

I describe my tummy as spaghetti junction. PP I was very upset about them but my mum said “Jane” would give anything for those. (Jane being the name of a good family friend). That helped me to feel less self conscious.

I got divorced and was convinced with my tummy I’d be single forever. Happy to say I’ve been married 21 years and of course my stretch marks have faded.

Your friends sound like smug a-holes. And likely to be lying. You need better friends.
I'm not overweight and I have stretch marks from puberty and from pregnancy. It is very common.

Yep, two of my young adult DSs have such huge ones on their backs they look like they’ve been whipped! It’s from growth spurts. They’re both slim and naturally muscular. They’ve never been overweight/lost weight. Most people have them somewhere to some extent. It’s normal.

Online, some people pretend they and their lives are ‘perfect’. An exciting life, well lived, always leaves multiple marks. Who wants to be boringly perfect, like an overproduced record?

Stretch marks are completely normal, you've prompted me to look at mine now, but I hadn't even thought of them in ages. They're just a normal part of my body!

It sounds like you have a particularly image-focussed group of friends. (Just going from what you've said - none of mine have had bump photoshoots or would be devastated about stretch marks etc). Remember that social media isn't reality - people will choose the most 'flattering' photos and photos with any perceived imperfections won't be posted!

Please try not to compare yourself to others. Maybe have a break from social media,and you could also try meeting some new mum friends who are less focussed on their image and more supportive of each other.

Be kind to yourself, you've just grown a new person and they deserve a mum who is confident and proud of herself.

You don't need any risky and unnecessary surgery. You just had a baby and are a mom now. Your friends sound like a bunch of assholes. Like you baby, you are a human being. How would you feel if the people around your child judged his or her worth on looks?

OP, I think some therapy for your low self-esteem might be a far better investment in your future and that of your child. Because at some point your child will start to pick up on how you see yourself and they are danger of treating themselves just as badly.