To be creeped out by people who make a huge deal out of celebrity deaths?

I always find it so OTT when on radio/tv they say things like “tragic death” eg of someone famous who passed away peacefully in their 80s. It’s not tragic, it’s normal, even though it might be sad. Or “such a massive loss to the world” about someone obscurely famous eg a film or music producer that most people have never heard of, again usually someone who’s died at a normal older age.

Some adults who detail every feeling they have on social media are not mentally well. My acquaintances who do this tend to have experienced childhood trauma (abuse, abandonment, parent dying in early childhood) or have a diagnosed mental health condition, or both. Their devastation at the death of a celebrity they've never mentioned before is merely a symptom of their wider issues.

I was actually surprised by how much the Queens death affected me. But she'd been a constant in my life for 42 years and I think she's the only death I've cried over and not actually known. She died the day my youngest started reception so it was already a time of huge change tinged with sadness 😔

That was insane.

I was staying with some friends who don't habitually have the radio or tv on. the first we knew of it was when a mate of theirs came round and said "Have you heard, Diana's died?".

We all thought it was a joke at first, and waited for the punchline.

The next few days were bizarre imo, it was like some form of collective madness. The council offices where I worked had a book of condolence and I'm told the queues went right round the block at times. I was on leave, thankfully, so was spared trying to get through throngs of people every time I entered the building. One colleague was shouted at by someone who thought he was trying to jump the queue.

I have a friend who will post on fb the moment a celebrity dies - I've always found this both odd but intriguing.

I feel a fleeting sadness when someone famous dies, if they have been something of note in my life - musicians whose music conjours up a particular time in my life, newsreaders who brings back memories of sitting round the table with my family, listening to the news, comedians I laughed at with my grandparents etc. But it really is the briefest of things. I feel sad but nowhere near the anguish when people close to me die. I can still listen to the music or find clips on YouTube but I can't sit down and have a chat with my Mum. I used to feel sorry for the people who make fools of themselves online or weeping and wailing on TV, on the basis that their lives must be totally lacking in real life relationships, but my compassion has worn thin because it all does seem to be increasingly performative. It was brought to a head for me after the murders in Southport. Among the people laying flowers and lighting candles, there were gangs of girls, usually threesomes for some reason, taking selfies and pulling competitive Sad Faces. It seemed as if they scored more points for being seen to be doing this, as they would shuffle to one side or other to make sure they were in view of the TV camera. One group were even following the cameras around and taking several selfies. It was despicable behaviour.

YANBU. It’s a bit odd. Although, I was a bit devoed when the Queen died 😂

You may see it that way, I do not.

As a child, seeing the public reaction to Diana’s death was the first time I realised adults could be just as ridiculous as children. It was a real eye opener

The reaction when Diana died was insane and massively OTT. I remember thinking at the time people were just performing for the cameras. Nowadays you can take that mentality and perform for your followers on social media.

I got surprisingly emotional over Bill Turnbull, the BBC breakfast news presenter. He got me through the early relentless mornings when my newborn fed for about 3 hours, I would just switch on TV and he'd be there, calm, relatable and a sense of humour. I suppose i felt he helped me get through that tough period.

Oh and George Michael. I will never get over him . That voice. All the stories that have come out about him. 12 year old me in 1985 was going to marry him.

Same here. Dolly and Debbie are absolute fucking QUEENS! 😍

I agree, but in general I don’t get the obsession with celebrities.

When Bowie died I was upset but I kept it to myself.

When Maya Angelou died, I felt the same.

When Debbie Harry and Dolly Parton die, I will be upset. Definitely. But won't broadcast it.

It's personal reactions. Let people have their own personal responses.

A few deaths have been by their nature very shocking and premature (notably Lennon and Diana for me) and I think some of the reaction is often down to that shock.

There are a celebrities in most peoples lives who have been significant to them for a long time, sometimes because their work was part of the fabric of their teens and feeling sad that they've died seems normal. For me it was Bowie, heightened by the fact it was out of the blue as he'd managed to keep his last illness secret (and good for him for doing things on his own terms)

However a few private tears is a very different thing to the sort of performative attention seeking that unfortunately social media seems to encourage and amplify.

I kind of agree though I find the morbid posting on social media the most unsettling bit. I was really upset at certain celebrity deaths - Matthew Perry, Sean Lock - but I realise I can't be sincerely mourning them as I didn't know them at all. I think it's a mix at sadness at their passing but also a sort of mourning of a chapter in your own life closing - Friends was a massive part of my adolescence and it felt eternal when I was young, so Matthew Perry dying was like a symbol of my own sense of mortality and how life can turn out smaller then you hoped? I loved Chandler as a character and it's weird to think the actor died in such an awful way.

Other than when Diana died and the whole country went loopy I can't understand it either OP.

My sister spent the day after Michael Jackson died listening to his music.

When I mentioned that I didn't know she was a fan or owned any of his records, she had gone out that day and bought them.

Then spent the day listening to them and crying.

The first time I ever saw people carry on like that was when Diana died, it was absolutely ridiculous. Fair enough to be a bit sad about a celebrity you admire dying, but to openly weep and wail and make a big scene - well, I felt the country had gone insane.

I cried a lot when Marc Bolan died, but I was six. Very sad about Bowie, Lemmy and Johnny Cash, but it didn’t disrupt my life in any way. I didn’t know them and they didn’t know me.

So you didn't actually know him then? Did you?

Your children had friends who knew him from school?

OK then 🙄

Exactly my first thought. It was so unexpected and we were big fans of her work. I still feel a little sad that there will be no more of her comedy.

@TorroFerney

I always wonder how these people operate when someone they reallly know and care about dies, it must be horrendous for them. Is it a trauma response the overreaction to a celeb death ie something missing? I think about my dad who couldn’t show affection to his family but could to the dog, a kind of safe space?

I suspect a lot of these people really struggle with interpersonal relationships and don't know how to express human emotions in a healthy way.

We saw that on a national scale with Princess Diana (as the papers never ceased to tell us at the time), the catharsis of grief and projection bla bla bla ad nauseam. At risk of sounding like a cut-price shrink if you project so much importance onto someone you've never met and about whom you actually know very little, it tends to suggest you're channeling unresolved emotions about people you do know but can't process.

That's it. The performative grief. That's what's annoying. Not sure why people do it, but it's really irksome!

Urgh that's so mawkish and grim.

Yes, Liam Payne dying did upset me a bit .. He was so young, and I also knew him by association. My DC had friends about a decade ago (at college) who went to school with him. So he felt 'familiar' and was a 'local' lad. And he was so young, and so troubled, and struggled with his mental health, and seemed so lonely and sad at the end. And yes to how sad it is that Bear is growing up without a father, and will find out eventually that he died in tragic circumstances. Very sad. 😢

It's sad and I was a bit upset by some of the deaths but it's the performative grief that does my head in. All that be kind after Caroline Flack. My ex neighbour was all about that and she was the most vile person to everyone.

It's like they've replaced all the gods and emperors.