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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take DD 5 to McDonald's every other weekend?

536 replies

quincyquince · 27/03/2025 18:51

She's gluten free, so has a portion of small chips and either a small mcflurry or orange juice or sauce with the chips.

We go after swimming.

This is ok, right? My friend thinks it's awful that she goes twice a month. But it's not like she's having the processed bread and cheese and stuff all the time?

OP posts:
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TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 13:07

cardibach · 28/03/2025 12:47

You’ve said ‘dozens’ of times twice now. It feels like you are trying to make it sound more than it is - I mean, technically it’s 2 dozen if there are no holidays or illness, but I wouldn’t use ‘dozens’ to describe the number.

Are you seriously denying that two dozen is a multiple of 12?

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 13:05

cardibach · 28/03/2025 12:48

Or their circumstances changed after having them - you know, like when Truss caused mortgages to shoot up, or when someone gets ill and can’t work, or someone’s partner dies.

Edited

All of those risks and more can be planned for with savings, insurance, consistent upskilling and other tools . Circumstances are always changing. It’s not an excuse for poor parenting.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 28/03/2025 13:00

cardibach · 28/03/2025 12:50

In which case nobody should have any children, should they? I mean, they could become ill and their partner die and then what would they do?

How would this happen? Surely we are all psychic and know that this will happen so would never procreate.

cardibach · 28/03/2025 12:50

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 12:07

Job loss, economic woes and other setbacks happen in most lifetimes and should be factored in to family planning. It’s a feature, not a bug.

In which case nobody should have any children, should they? I mean, they could become ill and their partner die and then what would they do?

cardibach · 28/03/2025 12:48

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 11:36

But chose to have children they couldn’t afford to feed…

Or their circumstances changed after having them - you know, like when Truss caused mortgages to shoot up, or when someone gets ill and can’t work, or someone’s partner dies.

cardibach · 28/03/2025 12:47

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 11:35

Time and money (and proper allocation thereof) are part of parenting.

Whether or not to take an age 5 child to MCDonald’s dozens of times per year clearly is a parenting choice. What else would it be??

OP asked for opinions in a large forum; if she only wanted approval why bother?

You’ve said ‘dozens’ of times twice now. It feels like you are trying to make it sound more than it is - I mean, technically it’s 2 dozen if there are no holidays or illness, but I wouldn’t use ‘dozens’ to describe the number.

Odras · 28/03/2025 12:41

quincyquince · 28/03/2025 12:05

The more people say things like "Its bad parenting" or "This will set DD up with bad habits" - the more I think these posters have incredibly unhealthy relationships with food.

I don’t think it is bad parenting at all. People are making very low blows.

However I disagree that posters who are taking about habits have an unhealthy relationship with food. I don’t eat convenience food with any regularity and i think I have a very healthy relationship with food. I’m not denying myself. I just don’t really like the food.

McDonald’s with market themselves as a great treat for kids. But their food is not special and it’s bad for you. A homemade cake, a special meal in a restaurant, a freshly baked pastry from a bakery. These are all high quality occasional “treats” that have had care go into their creation. The thinking that mass produced cheap and widely available food is a treat is making us fatter and sicker.

Coffeeishot · 28/03/2025 12:41

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Oh I've seen it!

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 28/03/2025 12:40

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cardibach · 28/03/2025 12:39

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 09:45

Exactly. Chow down fast, fatty food as a “reward” for doing the most mundane things. Because parents can’t be bothered to shop for and prepare healthy meals, or can’t be the adult & withstand children pleading.

Obesity is an extremely expensive public health problem.

‘Chow down’. Another nasty phrase used instead of ‘eat’. Way to endow food with emotional baggage!
It’s not because she can’t be bothered to cook either - it’s a specific set of circumstances set in a normal healthy diet. It won’t make any one obese.
Several of you keep going on about ‘fatty and salty’ when the OP says she doesn’t have salt added (it’s an option you can ask for) and a PP has found out that there is about 1/4 of a teaspoon of oil in the fires portion.

Coffeeishot · 28/03/2025 12:36

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Yeah the goadiness is intentional, imo obviously 🙄

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 28/03/2025 12:33

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IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 28/03/2025 12:31

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 12:24

Contingencies can and should be planned for.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but you can tell you've been lucky enough to not have a crazy run of bad luck.

We've got two good careers with decent incomes and progression plans. We have insurances and savings. A while back, despite being in completely different fields (because don't put all your eggs in one basket, right?) both of us were really unexpectedly put at risk of redundancy, at the same time, and at the same time as DH had a cancer scare.

Now, both of us wound up safe in our roles, thankfully, and DHs health stuff turned out minor, luckily. But what could have happened was both incomes were gone, we were both looking for new employment while trying to pay all the bills (and insurance premiums) from savings and while DH was undergoing chemo.

What's your contingency plan for the entire household income disappearing overnight and your partner needing intensive treatment while job hunting? I'd really like to know, because I am really good at overthinking the future possibilities and even I didn't think that would happen til it almost did.

These things happen to people.

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 12:24

LilacPeer · 28/03/2025 12:17

You cannot be uneducated enough to think that peoples situations don't change, so I won't bother listing all the ways in which people end up struggling with children they were perfectly able to afford at birth

Contingencies can and should be planned for.

arethereanyleftatall · 28/03/2025 12:23

The marketing team at McDonalds have done an awesome job on making sure some people’s beliefs are that eating a McDonald’s equates to a joyous existence.

LilacPeer · 28/03/2025 12:20

Swiftie1878 · 28/03/2025 12:05

An occasional treat is very different to a fortnightly routine, as you well know.
Look, you asked the question. People have answered.
You clearly weren’t interested in any answer that you disagree with, so why ask? You do you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It's one meal in forty two. That's definitely occasional

LilacPeer · 28/03/2025 12:19

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LilacPeer · 28/03/2025 12:17

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 11:36

But chose to have children they couldn’t afford to feed…

You cannot be uneducated enough to think that peoples situations don't change, so I won't bother listing all the ways in which people end up struggling with children they were perfectly able to afford at birth

cardibach · 28/03/2025 12:15

MumWifeOther · 27/03/2025 23:26

Simply not true. None of mine had junk or excess sugar until much older and even then was very rarely. They have a very healthy attitude to food and actually make much better choices. They don’t have an addiction to sugary shit like most other school age kids I see gorging on crap every other day!

My daughter didn’t (and doesn’t as an adult) ‘gorge on crap’. We had fast food sometimes. I mostly cook (and cooked then) from scratch at home. What I don’t do is use nasty, judgement laden words like ‘gorge’ (or others I see a lot on here like ‘gobble’, ‘stuff’, etc) about food.

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 12:08

Swiftie1878 · 28/03/2025 12:05

An occasional treat is very different to a fortnightly routine, as you well know.
Look, you asked the question. People have answered.
You clearly weren’t interested in any answer that you disagree with, so why ask? You do you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Well said, @Swiftie1878

I mean, this was started because the OP’s real life friend chastised her. Clearly something is amiss.

TheHerboriste · 28/03/2025 12:07

quincyquince · 28/03/2025 11:50

people's circumstances can change overnight. my sister was fine easily affording her 2 kids - then she lost her job and was struggling for months and months

Job loss, economic woes and other setbacks happen in most lifetimes and should be factored in to family planning. It’s a feature, not a bug.

quincyquince · 28/03/2025 12:07

Swiftie1878 · 28/03/2025 12:05

An occasional treat is very different to a fortnightly routine, as you well know.
Look, you asked the question. People have answered.
You clearly weren’t interested in any answer that you disagree with, so why ask? You do you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Occasional treat? Kids this age get invited to DOZENS of parties a year, as well as celebrating family birthdays and Easter and Christmas etc - literally the association with celebration is with sweet food. it is a routine and habit that the entire nation upholds.

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 28/03/2025 12:05

quincyquince · 28/03/2025 12:02

Well, if that is all it takes to be a bad parent - then we're all guilty. I guess you've stopped all cakes and sweets at birthdays, chocolate at Easter, only allow them to eat vegetables at parties etc other wise your just creating a habit/routine to give your kids food high in sugar/salt with no nutritional value on these occasions.

An occasional treat is very different to a fortnightly routine, as you well know.
Look, you asked the question. People have answered.
You clearly weren’t interested in any answer that you disagree with, so why ask? You do you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

quincyquince · 28/03/2025 12:05

The more people say things like "Its bad parenting" or "This will set DD up with bad habits" - the more I think these posters have incredibly unhealthy relationships with food.

OP posts:
quincyquince · 28/03/2025 12:02

Swiftie1878 · 28/03/2025 11:55

Well, it depends on your definition.

Whatever way you look at it, every other weekend is creating a habit/routine.
The fact that that habit/routine is to go to a fast food outlet which sells food and drinks that are high in salt and sugar and have no nutritional value can not be good parenting, that’s for sure.

Well, if that is all it takes to be a bad parent - then we're all guilty. I guess you've stopped all cakes and sweets at birthdays, chocolate at Easter, only allow them to eat vegetables at parties etc other wise your just creating a habit/routine to give your kids food high in sugar/salt with no nutritional value on these occasions.

OP posts: